Florida, The Tropical State
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Florida, The Tropical State
Characters: Jack Tors
Summary:
Transcript:
The Jerky Boys Album 3
Track List
“Santa’s Delivery – Frank Rizzo” (1:09)
“Lawn Equipment Debate – Sol Rosenberg” (2:18)
“Balloon Rides – Frank Rizzo” (2:07)
“The Dresser – Kissel” (1:11)
“Silly Food – Frank Rizzo” (1:12)
“Sol’s Chainsaw Shock – Sol Rosenberg” (1:13)
“Stop That – Tarbash” (2:35)
“Chainsaw Shock, Pt. 2 – Sol Rosenberg” (2:22)
“Tandem Bicycles – Jack Tor s” (1:39)
“Safety Gates – Frank Rizzo” (3:30)
“Bamm! – Curly G.” (1:29)
“Facelift Without Surgery – Jack Tor s” (1:35)
“Lawnmower Sale – Big Ole’ Bad Ass Bob the Cattle Rustler” (2:46)
“Tarbash’s New Shoes – Tarbash” (1:39)
“Signin’ – Rosine” (2:38)
“No! – Mike Derucki” (:25)
“Sol’s Civil War Memorabilia – Sol Rosenberg” (3:46)
“Civil War Memorabilia, Pt. 2 – Sol Rosenberg” (2:07)
“Bad Tomatoes – Nikos” (1:23)
“Florida, The Tropical State – Jack Tor s” (3:32)
“TV Repair – Kissel/Pico” (2:35)
“1-800-How’s My Driving? – Frank Rizzo” (2:38)
“Bad Ass Massage – Big Ole’ Bad Ass Bob the Cattle Rustler” (2:36)
“Paradise – Jack Tor s” (1:27)
“Body Building – Frank Rizzo” (3:31)
“Kissel Crooner – Kissel” (1:46)
“Angry Camper’s Dad – Frank Rizzo” (1:49)
“Bird Feed – Sol Rosenberg” (3:33)
“New Awnings – Mike Derucki” (3:57)
Bad Tomatoes
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Bad Tomatoes [Explicit]$1.29
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Bad Tomatoes
Characters: Nikos
Summary:
The skit opens with a phone call between Sam and Nico, initially filled with confusion over the caller’s identity. Nico claims to be a friend of Tony Simos and urgently notifies Sam about a batch of bad tomatoes. Despite Sam’s repeated attempts to ascertain the caller’s identity, confusion persists.
Nico, speaking on behalf of Tony Simos, insists that the tomatoes purchased by Sam are of poor quality and demands their return. However, Sam struggles to comprehend which tomatoes are being referred to, leading to further miscommunication and frustration.
Throughout the conversation, Nico tries to convey the urgency of the situation regarding the allegedly spoiled tomatoes, emphasizing Simos’s involvement. However, Sam’s confusion persists, resulting in an escalating exchange where Nico attempts to clarify the issue but is met with Sam repeatedly asking for the caller’s identity.
The skit is characterized by a comedic misunderstanding, as Sam’s inability to recognize Nico’s identity or understand the problem with the tomatoes leads to a circular conversation filled with frustration and confusion on both ends. Ultimately, the exchange remains unresolved as Sam continues to question the caller’s identity, leaving the issue of the supposedly bad tomatoes hanging without a clear resolution.
Transcript:
Sol’s Civil War Memorabilia
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Sol’s Civil War Memorabilia
Characters: Sol Rosenberg
Summary:
The skit revolves around a comical phone conversation regarding the sale of Civil War memorabilia. Voice 1 describes an eccentric individual with an assortment of items, including old guns, a Gatling gun causing neighborhood disturbances, cannons, and even a preserved foot from a soldier. Throughout the conversation, Voice 2 expresses interest in these unusual artifacts, despite Voice 1’s warnings about their dangerous nature. Voice 1 shares anecdotes about the owner’s reckless use of the Gatling gun and the risky handling of weaponry, emphasizing the need for caution. Despite the absurdity of the items and their potential hazards, Voice 2 remains intrigued and agrees to potentially purchase everything, including the preserved foot. The dialogue highlights the absurdity and danger of owning such historical artifacts while maintaining a humorous tone through the characters’ interactions and the outrageous nature of the items being discussed.
Transcript:
No! – Mike Derucki
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No! [Explicit]$1.29
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: No!
Characters: Mike Derucki
Summary:
Transcript:
Tarbash’s New Shoes
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Tarbash’s New Shoes
Characters: Tarbash
Summary:
Transcript:
Lawnmower Sale
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Product on sale
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Lawnmower Sale [Explicit]$1.29
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Lawnmower Sale
Characters: Big Ole’ Bad Ass Bob the Cattle Rustler
Summary:
The skit presents a comical phone conversation between two individuals discussing the sale of various items, primarily focusing on a lawnmower, a chainsaw, and a log splitter. The conversation, laden with sarcasm and humor, revolves around the confusion caused by vague inquiries and the seller’s humorous responses.
Voice 1, the seller, is initially confused about the caller’s intentions and attempts to decipher what specific item they are interested in. Voice 2, the potential buyer, struggles to articulate their needs clearly, leading to witty exchanges and playful banter.
Voice 1 humorously mocks Voice 2’s preferences, insinuating laziness for wanting a riding lawnmower and jokingly offering a lawnmower with a television. The seller playfully negotiates prices, proposing absurdly low amounts and suggesting physical gestures as part of the deal.
The conversation continues with exaggerated pricing and playful banter, ending with Voice 1 proposing a significantly reduced price for the lawnmower, amusingly noting how the offer spikes the caller’s interest. The skit showcases confusion, playful negotiations, and exaggerated humor throughout the conversation, creating an amusing scenario centered on a simple sales inquiry.
Transcript:
Facelift Without Surgery
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Facelift Without Surgery
Characters: Jack Tors
Summary:
Transcript:
Bamm! – Curly G.
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Bamm! [Explicit]$1.29
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Bamm!
Characters: Curly G.
Summary:
Transcript:
0:01 Phone rings…
0:04 Voice 1: “Bamm!”
0:05 Voice 2: “Hello?”
0:06 Voice 1: “Yo. Wazzup? I want you to hear my rap album.”
0:09 Voice 2: “Uh-huh.”
0:10 Voice 1: “Yo Wazzup? This is – my name is Curly G Cradle Rock.”
0:14 Voice 2: “Uh-huh.”
0:15 Voice 1: “Yo. I got some good music. I want to come down and yo – bamm! I want you to play that.”
0:20 Voice 2: “Uh-huh.”
0:21 Voice 1: “Yo. I got some crazy good music.”
0:23 Voice 2: “OK.”
0:24 Voice 1: “Well, let me sing a song.”
0:27 Voice 2: “OK.”
0:28 Voice 1: “Yo. Hanging out the street with my hommies. Sippin up some beer and cronies. Yo. Wazzup?”
0:35 Voice 2: “I can’t understand you.”
0:37 Voice 1: “Yo. I’m a crazy fresh – crazy fresh – crazy silly fresh DJ.”
0:43 Voice 2: “Uh-huh.”
0:44 Voice 1: “Bamm! Cradle Rock style.”
0:47 Voice 2: “Yeah.”
0:48 Voice 1: “Yo. Lemme come down there.”
0:49 Voice 2: “That’s fine.”
0:50 Voice 1: “Yo. I’ll come down with my shades, my girly girls, my sweet little cushions wrap. I’ll come down and I’ll swear I’ll bamm! Yo. I could hang.”
1:01 Voice 2: “I’m not sure what the purpose of call is.”
1:03 Voice 1: “Yo. Because this record star I want to sell you my record.”
1:06 Voice 2: “That’s fine.”
1:07 Voice 1: [Making irregular sounds] “Bamm!”
1:11 Voice 2: “OK.”
1:12 Voice 1: “Yo. Why don’t I come down here? I’ll come down there with my crazy fly girlies and my gold. I got crazy silly Gumby gold.”
1:19 Voice 2: “Yeah.”
1:20 Voice 1: “Right.”
1:21 Voice 2: “All right. I have to go.”
1:22 Voice 1: “Bamm!”
1:23 Voice 2: “Bye.”
1:24 Voice 1: “All right. I’ll see you later, girly girl.”
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Bamm! [Explicit]$1.29
Safety Gates
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Safety Gates [Explicit]$1.29
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Safety Gates
Characters: Frank Rizzo
Summary:
Transcript:
Tandem Bicycles
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Tandem Bicycles
Characters: Jack Tors
Summary:
Transcript: