Tandem Bicycles

The Jerky Boys, album 3

Title: Tandem Bicycles

Characters: Jack Tors



0:01 Phone rings…
0:04 Voice 1: [Inaudible 00:00:04].

0:06 Voice 2: “Hi. Do you sell two-seated bicycles?”

0:04 Voice 1: “Tandem. Yes, I do.”

0:11 Voice 2: “You do. You have them in stock?”

0:13 Voice 1: “I have at least 10 of them.”

0:14 Voice 2: “OK. I had my friend out last night, Steven, in the fucking ice we lost control and I drove the poor fucker right under a cab. We totaled the fucking bike.’

0:24 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

0:25 Voice 2: “Do you have – I need the fast leg with the little racy colors on it.”

0:29 Voice 1: “I don’t know. I have the [Inaudible 00:00:30].”

0:32 Voice 2: “You know, we used to like – he would always ride around crazy on the backseat. Like he would be doing silly shit while I trying to maintain control in a bicycle. And he is doin’ all kinds of like silly little somersaults around the backseat and we lost control and he is in the hospital now. But I’d say I’ll surprise him with a little bicycle.”

0:50 Voice 1: “It’s a tandem bike.”

0:52 Voice 2: “How much do you weigh? Maybe we could – if I come in, could we ride it around the avenue and be like all happy singin’ just to see how we can work? Oh, does it have speeds?”

1:05 Voice 1: “The tandem bike?’

1:06 Voice 2: “Yeah. Does it have all kinds of speeds? Like one time we have a 10-speeder. We could pop a wheelie with this?”

1:15 Voice 1: “What’s the question?”

1:18 Voice 2: “The guy that owns the store there, would he try this bicycle with me?”

1:22 Voice 1: “I don’t know.”

1:23 Voice 2: “Do you sell tennis machines there?”

1:25 Voice 1: “Tennis?”

1:26 Voice 2: “Tennis machines and bungee cords?”

1:30 Voice 1: “Bungee cords?”

1:30 Voice 2: “Oh, I need a back sack, too. A back sack. Can I come in and buy all these things from you?”

1:35 Voice 1: “Sure.”

1:36 Voice 2: “OK. I’ll see you.”

1:37 Voice 1: “OK.”

1:38 Voice 2: “Bye.”

1:39 Voice 1: “All right. Bye.”