Chainsaw Shock – Part 2

The Jerky Boys, album 3

Title: Chainsaw Shock, Pt. 2

Characters: Sol Rosenberg

Summary: What starts as a normal chainsaw sale goes wrong quickly after Sol takes a tumble. But don’t worry, his son is coming and he’s sitting and smoking and watching television.


0:01 Phone rings…

0:05 Sol: “Hi”

0:06 Caller: “Hello”

0:07 Sol: “Hi”

0:08 Caller: “Hi, I called before about the chainsaw. You ok?”

0:11 Sol: “Yes, oh I’m fine thank you. I took a terrible tumble.”

0:14 Caller: “Oh my goodness.”

0:15 Sol: “Yes. I’m sorry.”

0:16 Caller: “No that’s ok, did you hurt yourself?”

0:19 Sol: “Ohh yes I did. I’m, I’m ok though. I’m up in the chair now.”  

0:23 Caller: “Ok. Think you should call a doctor?”

0:25 Sol: “Oh no, no, no. No I’m ok now.”

0:27 Caller: “Alright, ok.”

0:28 Sol: “My ankle is twisted though, I can see like a little piece of the bone stickin’ out. But I think I’m ok, I’ll wait for my son to get home.”

0:37 Caller: “You see a piece of the bone sticking out?”

0:39 Sol: “Yes, I twisted it so bad it, it’s like… Now I’m in the recliner and my foot is hanging off the side of the recliner.”

0:47 Caller: “Is there, is there blood?”

0:49 Sol: “Well it’s not bleeding. I’m sure it was just a clean break. But I’m ok, I’m ok.”

0:53 Caller: “I think you better call your son.”

0:54 Sol: “Well, he’s on his way. So my foot it’ll will just dangle for a moment until he gets home.”

0:57 Caller: “Ok.”

0:58 Sol: “Th-thank you.”

1:00 Caller: “Alright, so should I wait and call back when your son is there?”

1:02 Sol: “Well, I think I must be in shock or something because, I feel wonderful. I’m, I’m sitting and smoking and watching television.”

1:10 Caller: *laughing* “oh, okay. Well, should I call about that chainsaw when he gets home.”

1:15 Sol: *grunting in pain* “oh, oh.”

1:17 Caller: “Should I wait? Or leave a phone number?”

1:20 Sol: “Uhh uh, pardon me.”

1:22 Caller: “Should I wait and call back later when your son-”

1:24 Sol: *in pain* “ooooh, I’m just rubbing it down now. It’s just a little funny, I got like a tingler in it. You know?”

1:29 Caller: “Yeah”

1:30 Sol: “It tingles. It’s like tingly. I think I’m in shock, is probably what it is.”

1:34 Caller: “Do you want me to call an ambulance?”

1:35 Sol: “Oh, no no. Don’t you be so troublesome toward me, no no. That’s-that’s leveling all sorts of charges at me. Please. I don’t need that.”

1:44 Caller: “Ok.”

1:45 Sol: “My foot seems to be fine as long as it swings like that. I don’t see any blood.”

1:50 Caller: “Good.”

1:51 Sol: “Just like the little end of the bone sticking out there. But it – it seems to be hangin’ on by like skin. So I think I’m ok.”

1:57 Caller: “Ok.”

1:58 Sol: “And he should be home any moment.”

1:59 Caller: “Ok good, he’ll take care of you.”

2:01 Sol: “Yes, thank you.”

2:02 Caller: “Alright, I’ll call back later ok?”

2:03 Sol: “Yes, well you can call me back; later, that would be beautiful.”

2:06 Caller: “Yeah, I just want to buy that chainsaw if it’s still available.”

2:09 Sol: *sniffling* “Ok, I’ll get back to you right away with that. And don’t be- don’t be so sorry for me.”

2:14 Caller: “Ok, I won’t.”

2:15 Sol: “Because I’m- i’m a very sorry person. And I’m very good, thank you. I’m fine. Thank you very much.”

2:21 Caller: “Bye.”

2:22 Sol: “Bye, bye.”