Frank Rizzo

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Boats Express

0:01 Phone rings

0:09 Speaker1:  “Hello?”

0:10 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, hello?”

0:12 Speaker1:  “Hello.” 

0:13 Frank Rizzo:               “How ya doin?”  

0:14 Speaker1:  “I’m doin, how you doin?

0:15 Frank Rizzo:               “Alright, I want something transported.”

0:16 Speaker1:  “I want to ship it for you.” 

0:18 Frank Rizzo:               “That’s right. You get it to Ireland?”

0:20 Speaker1:  “Huh?” 

0:21 Frank Rizzo:               “Ireland?” 

0:22 Speaker1:  “Ireland?” 

0:22 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah.” 

0:23 Speaker1:  “We do Ireland.” 

0:24 Frank Rizzo:               “You give me a quote, price quote?”  

0:26 Speaker1:  “Yeah.”  

0:27 Frank Rizzo:               “I got about 1 ,000 pounds of cocaine, figured you guys would run it up there.”

0:32 Speaker1:  “Who is this?

0:33 Frank Rizzo:               “Hello?” 

0:34 Speaker1:  “Who is this?” 

0:35 Frank Rizzo:               “Are we going to do business, or no?”

0:36 Speaker1:  “Who is this?” 

0:37 Frank Rizzo:               “It’s Frank.” 

0:38 Speaker1:  “Frank. We don’t do cocaine, Frank.” 

0:41 Frank Rizzo:               “Alright, how bout some marijuana?” 

0:43 Speaker1:  “Whatever you can get, sample it. We’ll take samples of it.”

0:46 Frank Rizzo:               “Oh yeah? Hey, nobody knows better, right?” 

0:49 Speaker1:  “Right.” 

0:50 Frank Rizzo:               “You know, me and you, we get a deal on the side.” 

0:52 Speaker1:  “Yeah.” 

0:53 Frank Rizzo:               “What do you say? No go?”

0:55 Speaker1:  “Frank.” 

0:56 Frank Rizzo:               “Frank who?”

0:57 Speaker1:  “Frank Rizzo.”

0:58 Frank Rizzo:               “Rigo?”

0:59 Speaker1:  “Rizzo.”

1:00 Frank Rizzo:               “R-I-Z-Z-O. What do you say? I can drive the shipment up there myself.”

1:07 Speaker1:  “Frank Rizzo.”  

1:08 Frank Rizzo:               “We put it on the boat overnight.”  

1:11 Speaker1:  “Who the fuck are you?” 

1:12 Frank Rizzo:               “You know what, I’ll get one of them rubber, rubber dinghies. You tow the shit in the rubber dinghy behind the boat, so I’ll be responsible.”

1:18 Speaker1:  “Who is this?”

1:19 Frank Rizzo:               “Come on, you fuck, stop playin with me.”

1:21 Speaker1:  “Who the fuck is this?” 

1:23 Frank Rizzo:               “It’s Frank.” 

1:25 Speaker1:  “I don’t know who this guy is.”

1:26 Frank Rizzo:               “Are you gonna do it for me, or no?” 

1:29 Speaker1:  “What’s my options?” 

1:32 Frank Rizzo:               “Well, you really don’t have many, how bout a pair of cement shoes?” 

1:35 Speaker1:  “I already have a pair of those.” 

1:37 Frank Rizzo:               “Oh yeah? They don’t fit too good?”

1:38 Speaker1:  “Nah, they’re too tight.” 

1:40 Frank Rizzo:               “Alright, maybe we make a pair for me and you throw me overboard, how’s that?”

1:42 Speaker1:  *laughs* 

1:43 Frank Rizzo:               “Maybe swab the decks together, we finger each other in the ass. What do you say?”  

1:46 Speaker1:  *laughs* 

1:48 Frank Rizzo:               “Go on, you filthy bastard. I’ll get somebody else to tow this shit for me.” 

1:52 Speaker1:  *laughs* 

1:53 Frank Rizzo:               “So long, nutty.”

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Rizzo The Rainmaker

0:01 Phone rings

0:05 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah?” 

0:07 Speaker2:  “Yes, I’m looking for the major league rainmaker.”

0:09 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, what’s up?”

0:11 Speaker2:  “Am I talking to the major league rainmaker?”

0:13 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, I make it rain, snow, sleet, whatever the fuck you want.”

0:17 Speaker2:  *laughs* “My name is Mike *beep* I’m an attorney in Manhattan.” 

0:19 Frank Rizzo:               “That’s great, Mike.” 

0:21 Speaker2:  “Uh, and I’m, I might be interested in doing something with you if you would be interested in doing something with me.” 

0:28 Frank Rizzo:               “Okay, shoot.” 

0:29 Speaker2:  “Well, I’m a trial lawyer for 23 years already.” 

0:32 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, that’s great.” 

0:34 Speaker2:  “Uh, my specialty is negligence and malpractice work.” 

0:38 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah.”  

0:40 Speaker2:  “I have some experienced in commercial litigation, but quite frankly, not much.”

0:45 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, me, I’m fuckin good, I get anybody off, you know what I’m sayin?”  

0:48 Speaker2:  “Do you have an office in New York?”  

0:51 Frank Rizzo:               “Actually, no, I was thrown out of my last office.” 

0:52 Speaker2:  “Uh huh.” 

0:53 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, I didn’t pay the fuckin rent, you know how that goes.” 

0:56 Speaker2:  “Uuh…” 

0:57 Frank Rizzo:               “Okay, Ray, ya seem to be gettin tired on me, or something.” 

1:01 Speaker2:  “I’m not getting tired, it’s just, I’m a serious lawyer, I’m looking to increase my business.” 

1:05 Frank Rizzo:               “I got some guy, some doh one time, he was upstate, he says a cow bit him.  A fuckin cow bit him through the fence, can you believe that one?” 

1:13 Speaker2:  *Groans* 

1:14 Frank Rizzo:               “Ya see what I’m sayin?”  And I got him a lot of money from that farmer.

1:18 Speaker2:  *Laughs* 

1:19 Frank Rizzo:               “Ya see? That’s what I do.”  

1:22 Speaker2:  “This is crazy.” 

1:23 Frank Rizzo:               “Not to mention the fact I got him a few rides around a field on a fuckin cow, you know?  Yeah, I got him off there.” 

1:32 Speaker2:  ”Uhh.” 

1:33 Frank Rizzo:               “Tell me some fun cases that you’ve had.”

1:37 Speaker2:  “Uh, fun cases, fun cases. Oh, I get money for people in jail.” *laughs* 

1:42 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, that’s cute.” 

1:44 Speaker2:  “Uhh…” 

1:46 Frank Rizzo:               “You go up to the country there, you know you’ve got all them fuckin farm animals, they’re all locked up.” 

1:52 Speaker2:  “Oh, this is a riot, this really is funny.”

1:53 Frank Rizzo:               “You ever see a fuckin horse get whipped?” 

1:56 Speaker2:  “No.” 

1:57 Frank Rizzo:               “I used to throw hot coffee all over the ass of the horse there, and then whip him while he was kickin at me.” 

2:01 Speaker2:  *laughs* “I don’t believe that.” 

2:04 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, those fuckin things are crazy. You know, I tried to sue myself one time.”

2:07 Speaker2:  “And how did you make out?” 

2:09 Frank Rizzo:               “I cleaned myself out pretty good.”

2:11 Speaker2:  “Yeah?”

2:12 Frank Rizzo:               “Yeah, I’m a rainmaker.” 

2:13 Speaker2:  “Alright.” 

2:16 Frank Rizzo:               “What do you say there, Mike?” 

2:18 Speaker2:  “I say it’s quitting time for me.” 

2:20 Frank Rizzo:               “What’s your name?” 

2:21 Speaker2:  “Mike.” 

2:22 Frank Rizzo:               “Okay, Mike. So then I’ll talk to you later, then.  Have a good weekend.” 

2:26 Speaker2:  “You too.” 

2:27 Frank Rizzo:               “Get yourself all liquored up.” 

2:28 Speaker2:  “I’ll do that.“ 

2:29 Frank Rizzo:               “Alright there, Mike.” 

2:31 Speaker2:  “I’m goin to the fights tonight, I’ll really get liquored up.” 

2:32 Frank Rizzo:               “Get liquored up, get in the ring yourself, you crazy fuck.”

2:35 Speaker2:  *laughs* 

2:36 Frank Rizzo:               “Alright there, Charlie.” 

2:37 Speaker2:  “Bye.” 

2:38 Frank Rizzo:               “So long, ya fuck. 

2:39 Speaker2:  *laughs*

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