Angry Camper’s Dad

The Jerky Boys, album 3

Title: Angry Camper’s Dad

Characters: Frank Rizzo



0:01 Shelley: “This is Shelley speaking. Who is this please?”

0:02 Frank: “Yeah, Shelley. This is Frank. I got a little problem. I got my son, Mike, up there now and he is callin’ me all night. He is keepin’ me up. He is a funny little kid. He’s tellin’ me he’s got all kinds of problems now. He can’t sleep. He is always touchin’ himself and pullin’ out his pants. What’s the problem up there, Shelley?”

0:17 Shelley: “I’m sorry, sir. Mike who?”

0:20 Frank: “This is Mike Rudiman.”

0:23 Shelley: “Mike who?”

0:24 Frank: “Mikey Rudiman.”

0:26 Shelley: “Mikey?”

0:27 Frank: “Yeah. This kid he is drivin’ me nuts. He is callin’ me up all night there playin’ with the phone. He says there are stains in the wash there. Somebody is always shittin’ in his laundry bag. You know, there some kind of problem with this. You know, you got to stop that shit up there.”

0:41 Shelley: “Well, we have our own laundry here. We do a very good job and no one’s complaining.”

0:45 Frank: “Well, this kid is callin’ me that people shit in the laundry and he is always gettin’ his ass kicked there out in the ball field. Last week someone threw him down in the ball field and they were lickin’ the baseball bats and jaggin’ him in the ass with it. I can’t have this shit.”

0:59 Shelley: “I don’t think that’s true. I’m still tryin’ to find out who you are. I mean I want to make sure you are callin’ the right camp.”

108: Frank: “Yeah. You can’t have me come down there because I might be able to beat this kid in front you because he is drivin’ me up the wall. He is callin’ me all night. You know, I…”

1:15 Shelley: “What time does he call you?”

1:17 Frank: “He calls me three in the morning there. He is always fuckin’ with the phone this kid. I can’t have this shit. He said the other day somebody tried to snap his leg. They put it in between two rocks and they were jumpin’ on his legs.”

1:28 Shelley: “There is nobody callin’ anybody at three o’clock. At three o’clock, every child is asleep.”

1:32 Frank: “Yeah. This kid he must be sneakin’ off to the phone there.”

1:35 Shelley: Look. Who are you?

1:36 Frank: “He is always pullin’ at his pants and shit. You know, I can’t have that. The kid’s a little lunatic bastard. I got to come up and straighten shit out there, Shelley. I’m going to come up there and beat that fuckin’ kid in front you. I’m going to come up there. See you, Shelley.”