Santa’s Delivery

The Jerky Boys, album 3

Title: Santa’s Delivery

Characters: Frank Rizzo



0:01 Phone rings…

0:05 Voice 1: “All right. [Inaudible 00:00:06].”

0:08 Voice 2: “Hello.”

0:09 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:09 Voice 2: “How do you say there, Black Jack? What’s up with that delivery boy?”

0:12 Voice 1: “Delivery boy?”

0:13 Voice 2: “Yes. The delivery boy. He was up here five minutes ago. I had to punch him in his mouth. He’s got a silly Santa suit on. He is running through my hallway doing pirouettes. The next thing he is trying to suck my cock. What’s goin’ on with that kid?”

0:23 Voice 1: “What you talkin’ about? Who is speaking?”

0:25 Voice 2: “You straighten that fuckin’ kid out. He is up here bangin’ on my doorway delivery. The next thing I know gropin’ my pants and he’s got this silly Santa hat on and he is jumpin’ all around the hallway bangin’ on everybody’s door. What is he? Drunk or something?”

0:36 Voice 1: “Ah. There you go. You got [Inaudible 00:00:38].”

0:39 Voice 2: “Yes. He is up there and he is jumpin’ all around the hallway there with those little black leather boots on and the little red suit and he is actin’ like a total jackass. The next thing he is down on my pants. He is tryin’ to pull the fuckin’ – the balls out of my pants. I had to whack him in his fuckin’ mouth. What the hell is goin’ on with this crap?”

0:53 Voice 1: “I really don’t understand what you are talkin’ about really.”

0:56 Voice 2: “You get him back at that restaurant or I’m going to come down there and straighten him out in front you. I think there is going to be a lawsuit. I am going to punch that little bastard. He is tryin’ to be cute. He is tryin’ – that guy is tryin’ to suck my cock in front of the…”

1:04 Voice 1: “Shut up, man.”

1:06 Man laughing.

1:08 Voice 3: What a trip.