Lawn Equipment Debate – Sol Rosenberg

The Jerky Boys, album 3

Title: Lawn Equipment Debate

Characters: Sol Rosenberg



0:01 Phone rings…

0:03 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:04 Voice 2: “Hello?”

0:05 Voice 1: “Help.”

0:06 Voice 2: “I’m calling about the ad you got on the paper about garden lawn equipment.”

0:12 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:14 Voice 2: “What kind you got and where are – where are and when can they be seen?”

0:19 Voice 1: “We have lawn chairs.”

0:21 Voice 2: “That’s all?”

0:22 Voice 1: “No. I have other lawn chairs.”

0:27 Voice 2: “Well, it says you got a log splitter or a lawnmower and chainsaw.”

0:32 Voice 1: “Oh, my God. Yes, I do.”

0:35 Voice 2: “Yeah?”

0:36 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:37 Voice 2: “Where could they be seen?”

0:39 Voice 1: “Oh, in any store pretty much. Lots of stores sell those types of articles.”
0:44 Voice 2: “I understand that. But you’re selling ’em.”

0:47 Voice 1: “Yes, that’s right. That’s correct.”

0:49 Voice 2: “Yeah.”

0:50 Voice 2: “Yes. But you asked me where could you see things like this.”

0:53 Voice 1: “No. I said where can I see your stuff.”

0:55 Voice 2: “Oh, pardon me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

0:59 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:00 Voice 2: “Yes. Hello.”

1:03 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:04 Voice 2: “Yes.”

1:04 Voice 1: “Where can I see ’em?”

1:06 Voice 2: “Sir, that’s what I said. You could probably see them pretty much anywhere. Do you see what I am sayin’?”

1:13 Voice 1: “No. You are selling ’em. I want to see what you have that you are selling.”

1:16 Voice 2: “Oh. That’s OK. Well, then, that puts a whole different bang job on things.”

1:20 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:21 Voice 2: “I didn’t know what you were getting at. You didn’t have to be…”

1:23 Voice 1: “Well, why did you put the ad in the paper if you don’t know what I’m getting at?”

1:26 Voice 2: “Well, you didn’t have to be so hurtful with me. So angry.”

1:29 Voice 1: “Just tryin’ to get to find out where I can see this.”

1:32 Voice 2: “Your neighbor or your friends or maybe relatives would have these things for you to see them. You see? Do you see what I mean?”

1:41 Voice 1: “Yeah. I see what you mean. But I am tryin’ to see what you have that you’re tryin’ to sell.”

1:44 Voice 2: “OK. Well, I have lawnmowers and I have weed whacker. It’s called a whacker for weeds.”

1:52 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:52 Voice 2: “And it looks like a James Bond tool or something. And you swing it all around dandy crazy and you go wringing with the saw goes off and like that.”

2:01 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

2:02 Voice 2: “Yes.”

2:03 Voice 2: “Where do you have this upstate?”

2:04 Voice 1: “I have them in my attic.”

2:06 Voice 2: “Where is that?”

2:07 Voice 1: “In the top of my house by the roof.”

2:13 Voice 2: “Uh-huh.”

2:14 Voice 1: “Yes.”

2:15 Voice 2: “OK. Thank you.”

2:16 Voice 1: “Bye.”