Paradise
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Paradise
Characters: Jack Tors
Summary:
Transcript:
0:01 Voice 1: “Good afternoon. Paradise?”
0:03 Voice 2: “Hi. Is fat muffin man there?”
0:06 Voice 1: “Excuse me?”
0:07 Voice 2: “Yes. Fat muffin man. Is he in?”
0:09 Voice 1: “Fat muffin man?”
0:11 Voice 2: “Yeah.”
0:12 Voice 1: “Well, hopefully, that not me. I’m the biggest one here.”
0:15 Voice 2: “Well…”
0:15 Voice 1: “Do you need muffins? This for take-out?”
0:17 Voice 2: “Actually, yes. What sort of muffins? Do you have blueberry?”
0:19 Voice 1: “I have blueberry muffins, cranberry muffins, every kind of muffin.”
0:22 Voice 2: “Oh, no, no, no. Please, I don’t want cranberry. The blueberry now, are still nice and all jammed up with that blueberry?”
0:29 Voice 1: “There’s tons of blueberries, sir. Would you like some?”
0:32 Voice 2: “Yes. How many grams of fat do you think are muffins?”
0:36 Voice 1: “I’m not sure, sir.”
0:37 Voice 2: “How is he anyway?”
0:37 Voice 1: “It’s just a muffin, sir.”
0:39 Voice 2: “How is he anyway?”
0:41 Voice 1: “Excuse me?”
0:42 Voice 2: “How is big muffin ass bastard? How is he doin’ good?”
0:44 Voice 1: “Oh. OK.”
0:47 Voice 2: “He’s a good friend.”
0:47 Voice 1: “Would you like a delivery, sir?”
0:49 Voice 2: “I’d like to come in and see my friend. You know, at good buddy of mine.”
0:53 Voice 1: “Well, would you like our address, sir?”
0:55 Voice 2: “I would like…”
0:55 Voice 1: “And you could come in here? It 4-44 West 43rd Street.”
0:59 Voice 2: “What the fuck kind of comment is that? I didn’t say anything to deserve that. Sir?”
1:04 Voice 1: “Hey, hey.”
1:05 Voice 2: “No, no. That’s…”
1:05 Voice 1: “OK. If you are rude to – I don’t know if you want to take it manager, you can. I don’t understand.”
1:07 Voice 2: “Well, no, no. I mean that – no – listen to me. I’m only askin’ about muffins and you’re started to shout at me and yell about numbers. I wasn’t lookin’ for anything along those lines.”
1:19 Voice 1: “OK. Well, we can…”
1:21 Voice 2: “Please, hello? Bing-bong.” [Whistles] “Goodbye, sir.”
1:25 Voice 1: “Right.”