1-800 How’s My Driving

The Jerky Boys, album 3

Title: 1-800 How’s My Driving

Characters: Frank Rizzo

Summary:

“1-800 How Is My Driving” features Frank Rizzo turning a simple hotline idea into a chaotic prank call. The humor builds through fast escalation and bold reactions. It captures the raw, unscripted style that made the Jerky Boys famous. Fans enjoy it for its energy and authenticity. The conversation intensifies throughout. A standout piece of classic prank call comedy.

Transcript:

0:01 Phone rings…

0:02 Frank Rizzo: “Hello”

0:02 Voice 2: “Ok”

0:03 Frank Rizzo: “Yeah he backed over my goddamn legs. Now I’m standing here with shattered fucking legs that’s all I need. I just came to in the fucking hospital here. All I remember seeing is that-that little, freakin’ cute sign you have there about the bad driving.”

0:15 Voice 2: “Ok”

0:16 Frank Rizzo: “Hello?”

0:17 Voice 2: “Can I get your name and number?”

0:18 Frank Rizzo: “Aw Christ, is it always this way with you people? Where the hell do you get these drivers from? What do you pull them off the street? What is this?”

0:24 Voice 2: “Sir.”

0:25 Frank Rizzo: “Do you pull them off the subways? Christ sake this guy backed up over my legs three or four times there. They look like chop meat now.”

0:31 Voice 2: “Sir, I want to help you.”

0:32 Frank Rizzo: “Aww christ.”

0:34 Voice 2: “To help you I’m going to need to get some information.”

0:36 Frank Rizzo: “Ahh go ahead. Shoot. Shoot me some info. Go ahead.”

0:39 Voice 2: “I need your name and number.”

0:40 Frank Rizzo: “I gotta give you my name and number when I got some guy who smashed me into little pieces as a human being?”

0:45 Voice 2: “ok… well can you at least give me-”

0:48 Frank Rizzo: “If you saw my legs right now buddy you- you’d probably vomit. The damn things are sick looking. It’s horrible the fucking dog will be nipping at me in a little while with these fucking legs the way they are. For Christ’s sake.”

0:58 Voice 2: “Do you have the vehicle number at all?”

1:00 Frank Rizzo: “Aww christ, the vehicle number. All I remember a big delivery truck or some swill or some shit was dripping outta the back of that fucking thing. I don’t know.”

1:08 Voice 2: “Do you have the company name of the vehicle?”

1:10 Frank Rizzo: “How the hell am I going to see the company name when I’m busy rolling around under the fucking truck?”

1:13 Voice 2: “Sir I’m just trying to help”

1:14 Frank Rizzo: “Jesus Christ you’re asking me for company names and I’m layin under the fucking truck. I can give you serial numbers that’s about the best I can do for ya. Christ’s sake the goddamn gearbox crushed me into the ground and you’re asking me for the fucking name of the business. What do I look like a tomcat or something? A nightcrawler? Jesus Christ, go ahead shoot. ”

1:34 Voice 2: “Ok, I’ll *laughs* I gonna have to- I’m going to help you.”

1:37 Frank Rizzo: “Oh so this is funny? Are you laughing now for Christ’s sake?”

1:40 Voice 2: “No I just need to get the vehicle-”

1:42 Frank Rizzo: “Aww jeez the more I think about it the more angry I get. I’m laying up in the fucking hospital bed. I won’t be able to get myself near a fucking bottle of hooch and you’re fucking telling me it’s a fucking joke. It’s funny?”

1:54 Voice 2: “No, I’m not laughing at all sir. I want to get some information.”

1:57 Frank Rizzo: “Aw Christ”

1:58 Voice 2: “I can help you”

1:59 Frank Rizzo: “Aww man, there’s this mad fucking awful stink coming off my legs here. Must’ve been the fucking marrow or something for all I know.”

2:08 Voice 2: “Ok and what day did this happen?”

2:10 Frank Rizzo: “Aw man it happened today. I just came to in the fucking hospital now. Aww Jesus. My friend tells me you can call the numbers on these fucking delivery boys there.”

2:20 Voice 2: “Ok, what time did this happen?”

2:23 Frank Rizzo: “Time. How the fuck am I going to remember- you say time now. What are you a wise guy with the time? I’m supposed to remember the time when I’m fucking out like a light, time.”

2:30 Voice 2: “Sir, I’m going to disconnect you.”

2:32 Voice 3: “Ryan terminate the call please.”

2:34 Frank Rizzo: “Hello? Aw for Christ’s sake.”

Visit us at 1-800 How is my driving?

1-800 How Is My Driving – Classic Jerky Boys Call

“1-800 How Is My Driving” is a standout Jerky Boys prank call that turns a familiar concept into a loud, unpredictable, and hilarious exchange. Featuring the always-intense Frank Rizzo, this skit delivers fast-paced humor and the kind of chaotic interaction that made the crank call legends famous.

This is classic Jerky Boys, bold delivery, real reactions, and a conversation that quickly goes off the rails.

What Happens in This Prank Call

The setup revolves around a well-known “How’s my driving?” hotline concept, but once Frank Rizzo steps in, things take a completely different direction. What starts as a simple complaint quickly becomes a full-blown comedic confrontation.

The humor builds through:

• Over-the-top reactions to a basic situation
• Miscommunication that escalates quickly
• A relentless pace that keeps the conversation moving
• A character who refuses to back down

This is what makes Jerky Boys prank calls so effective, taking something ordinary and turning it into something unforgettable.

The Frank Rizzo Signature Energy

Frank Rizzo is one of the defining voices in classic comedy albums, and this skit showcases his style perfectly.

His performance includes:

• Loud, commanding delivery
• Exaggerated reactions that fuel the humor
• Constant intensity from start to finish
• A personality that turns tension into comedy

This kind of character-driven humor helped transform simple calls into lasting comedy collectibles.

Why Fans Love This

Fans continue to enjoy “1-800 How Is My Driving” because it delivers everything they expect from the Jerky Boys:

• Raw, unscripted humor that feels authentic
• A fast-paced exchange with no downtime
• Frank Rizzo at full intensity
• A situation that keeps getting funnier as it escalates

For collectors of Jerky Boys merchandise, this skit is another essential piece.

Perfect For

This prank call is perfect for:

• Fans of classic comedy albums
• Collectors of comedy collectibles
• Anyone exploring custom prank calls
• Listeners who enjoy bold, character-driven humor

Whether you’re revisiting the Jerky Boys or discovering them for the first time, this track delivers a memorable experience.

A Piece of Comedy History

The Jerky Boys helped redefine comedy long before digital platforms existed. Their prank calls became iconic, influencing how people experienced humor.

“1-800 How Is My Driving” reflects that era perfectly. It’s raw, direct, and powered entirely by personality. That authenticity is what keeps fans coming back.

Owning or revisiting this skit means adding another piece of classic comedy history to your collection.

Get the full story of the characters from the official Jerky Boys website.