Tandem Bicycles
The Jerky Boys, album 3 Title: Tandem Bicycles Characters: Jack Tors Summary: Transcript:
Bad Tomatoes – the woke version
Title: “Misunderstood Produce”[Setting: A trendy organic grocery store]Characters:Woke Activist (replacing Frank Rizzo)Conscious Shopper (replacing Jack Tors)Store Clerk[The Woke Activist enters the store, browsing through the produce section. The Conscious Shopper is also there, examining some tomatoes.]Woke Activist: (clearing throat) Excuse me, my friend, I couldn’t help but notice you’re eyeing those tomatoes.Conscious Shopper: Oh, yeah. […]
Super Across The Way
The Jerky Boys, album 1 Title: Super Across The Way Characters: Summary: Transcript:
The Flower Lady #4
The Jerky Tapes (Album 6) Title: The Flower Lady #4 Characters: Summary: Transcript:
Testing for Jeopardy – the woke version
Title: “Inclusive Jeopardy Audition”[Scene: A nondescript office setting. A diverse group of individuals, including people of various ethnicities, genders, and abilities, sit nervously in chairs, waiting for their turn.][Enter a facilitator, wearing a “diversity and inclusion advocate” badge.]Facilitator: Hello, everyone! Welcome to the auditions for our socially conscious version of Jeopardy. Today, we’re not just […]
Tarbash’s New Shoes
The Jerky Boys, album 3 Title: Tarbash’s New Shoes Characters: Tarbash Summary: Transcript:
Unemployed Painter – the woke version
Title: “Underemployed Artist”[Scene: A small studio apartment. The phone rings, and the character, Alex, answers.]Alex: Hello?Caller: Hi, is this Alex?Alex: Yes, speaking. How can I help you?Caller: Hi Alex, my name is Emily. I found your portfolio online and I’m really impressed by your work.Alex: Oh, thank you! I’m glad you like it.Caller: Yeah, I’m […]
Rosine Like Balloons
0:01 Phone rings 0:02 Speaker1: “Hello?” 0:02 Speaker2: “Hello?” 0:03 Speaker1: “Yes. Do you guys—do you have balloons?” 0:05 Speaker2: “Yeah.” 0:06 Speaker1: “You don’t have balloons?” 0:07 Speaker2: “Oh, what?” 0:08 Speaker1: “You guys don’t make balloons.” 0:10 Speaker2: “Yeah.” 0:11 Speaker1: “So, can I order balloons from you?” 0:12 Speaker2: “No, you have […]
Tennis Ball Machine – the woke version
Title: “Inclusive Tennis Ball Machine”[Setting: A tennis court. Two players, Alex and Sam, are engaged in a match. On the sidelines, there is a tennis ball machine.]Alex: (hits the ball) Nice shot!Sam: Thanks, Alex! (prepares for the next serve)[Alex serves again, but the ball machine starts malfunctioning, shooting balls everywhere.]Alex: Whoa, what’s going on with […]
The Gay Model
The Jerky Boys, album 1 Title: The Gay Model Characters: Summary: The skit unfolds as Crystal receives a call from an enthusiastic but bizarre individual, Voice 1, inquiring about a modeling job. Crystal, seemingly oblivious to the oddity, engages in conversation, expressing excitement about the caller’s purported talents. However, things take a peculiar turn when […]
Hurt At Work
The Jerky Boys, album 1 Title: Hurt At Work Characters: Summary: In this skit, a comedic portrayal unfolds as two characters engage in a phone conversation about an alleged workplace injury. Voice 2 claims to have been hurt at work, seeking legal assistance. Initially, Voice 1 transfers the call to Voice 3, an attorney, assuming […]
Sol’s Turnstile – Sol Rosenberg
The Jerky Boys, Album 4 Title: Sol’s Turnstile Characters: Sol Rosenberg Summary: Transcript:
I Pickle They – the woke version
Title: “The Ethical Artisanal Pickler”Characters:Alex: A socially conscious artisanal pickler.Sam: A potential customer interested in Alex’s pickles.[Scene opens in a quaint, eco-friendly farmer’s market where Alex is proudly displaying their organic, locally sourced pickles.]Alex: (enthusiastically) Welcome to my pickling stand, where we celebrate sustainability and flavor fusion! How may I assist you today?Sam: (curiously) Hi […]
Super Gay
The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me! Title: Super Gay Characters: Summary: The skit portrays a phone conversation between two individuals, one inquiring about comic books and the other responding to the queries. The caller seeks comic books, inquiring about their content and humor, asking if they will induce laughter. The conversation turns confrontational when […]
“Jack – Bubbles Escaped” (Brennan)
Sol’s Rusty Trombone (Album 7) Title: “Jack – Bubbles Escaped” (Brennan) Characters: Summary: Transcript:
Irate Tile Man – Frank Rizzo
The Jerky Boys, album 1 Title: Irate Tile Man Characters: Frank Rizzo, Summary: The skit features a phone call between Frank Rizzo and a customer service representative regarding a purchase of 400 square feet of kitchen ceramic tiles. Frank expresses frustration, claiming that half of the tiles are broken and that he’s angry about the situation. […]
Send a Salami to your Boy in the Army
The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me! Title: Send a Salami to your Boy in the Army Characters: Sol Rosenberg Summary: Transcript:
“Frank – Speed Racer” (Brennan)
Sol’s Rusty Trombone (Album 7) Title: “Frank – Speed Racer” (Brennan) Characters: Summary: Transcript:
Frank’s Pickles
The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me! Title: Frank’s Pickles Characters: Summary: Transcript:
Sol’s War Memorabilia – the woke version
Title: Sol’s Civil Rights Memorabilia Emporium[Scene: Sol’s Civil Rights Memorabilia Emporium. Sol, a passionate advocate for social justice, mans the counter.]Sol: Welcome to Sol’s Civil Rights Memorabilia Emporium, where we honor the struggles and triumphs of marginalized communities throughout history.Customer: Hi, I’m looking for something that celebrates the resilience of the civil rights movement.Sol: Ah, […]
Lawnmower Sale – the woke version
Title: Sustainable Gardening Consultation[Scene: A serene garden setting with chirping birds and lush greenery. Two individuals, Pat and Frank, stand amidst the foliage, engaging in conversation.]Pat: Hey, Frank, have you heard about the latest sustainable gardening techniques?Frank: Sustainable gardening? What’s that all about?Pat: It’s about being mindful of the environment while tending to our lawns […]
Trains – Jocko Johnson
The Jerky Boys, Album 4 Title: Trains Characters: Sandy, Russel Summary: Transcript:
Florida, The Tropical State
The Jerky Boys, album 3 Title: Florida, The Tropical State Characters: Jack Tors Summary: Transcript:
Sol’s Nude Beach
The Jerky Boys, album 2 Title: Sol’s Nude Beach Characters: Sol Rosenberg Summary: The skit opens with a phone call where a woman answers and a person named Sol asks for Jim. There’s confusion over Sol’s name, but he persistently mentions joining a nudist camp, claiming Jim invited him due to past mistreatment at a […]