Send a Salami to your Boy in the Army

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: Send a Salami to your Boy in the Army

Characters: Sol Rosenberg




0:03 Phone rings…

0:04 Voice 1: “Hello. [Inaudible 00:04]

0:05 Sol: “Hello.”

0:06 Voice 1: “Hold on.”

0:06 Sol: “Hello”

0:08 Voice 1: “Can I help you?”

0:10 Sol: “Hi. Hello.”

0:11 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:12 Sol: “Hi, this is Sol.”

0:14 Voice 1: “Hello.’

0:15 Sol: “Yes. Hi, this is Sol. Hi, thank you.”

0:17 Voice 1: “Hi.”

0:18 Sol: “Thank you. I would like to order a box of baloneys please.”

0:22 Voice 1: “A box of baloneys?”

0:24 Sol: “Right. They say send a salami to your boy in the army.”

0:27 Voice 1: “Okay. Let me explain. The baloney comes or the baloney comes home [Inaudible 00:30]

0:31: Sol: “Send a salami to the boy in the army. That’s what they said.”

0:34 Voice 1: “Right.”

0:35 Sol: “I want to get salamis and baloneys, Bologna

0:38 Voice 1: “Okay, baloney comes…”

0:39 Sol: “Hi. Okay, I’m sorry. Thank you. Go ahead.”

0:42 Voice 1: “Baloney comes in one size. It’s about a seven pound…”

0:48 Sol: “It’s a seven pound baloney. That’s a big…[Loud crash]

0:49 Voice 1: “That’s huge.”

0:51 Sol: “Oh, what was that? What was that? Excuse me, ma’am. “

0:56 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

0:57 Sol: “Are you alright?”

0:58 Voice 1: “It wasn’t you?”

0:59 Sol: “Oh by… Oh, Hi.”

1:01 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:02 Sol: “Okay. Yeah.”

1:03 Voice 1: “The salami…”

1:04 Sol: “Send a salami to your boy in the army. I like that.”

1:06 Voice 1: “Yeah. The salami, soft salami comes in 2, 3 or 5 pounds.”

1:10 Sol: “A 5 pound.”

1: 12 Voice 1: “2, 3 or 5 and the part salami’s are 1 ½, 2 ½ and 3 ½ pounds.”

1:16 Sol: “When they cure the salami’s, is this the one that they rub on the neck… the neck leather. They rub these on the neck to make the skin like soft…salami.”

1:26 Voice 1: “No. I have never heard of that.”

1:28 Sol: “Yeah, they cure it. They rub the intestines, all over the back and the neck with salt wounds and something like that.”

1:34 Voice 1: “Not that I know of.”

1:35 Sol”: “Send a salami to your boy in the army. That’s what they always kept telling me when I was there and I like that. And what I would like to do is order boxes of baloney, salami’s please. Thank you. Please.”

1:48 Voice 1: “A few…No…This is for mailing?”

1:49 Sol: “Yes. I… [Loud crash] Oh my God! Are you alright? Please!”

1:55 Voice 1: “This is not happening here.”

1:56 Sol: “Oh my work… Oh… Oh God! That makes me very scared; I’m very, very scared when I hear that. Ma’am…”

2:05 Voice 1: What state are you in?”

2:06 Sol: “I’m in… I’m in… Actually, I’m in New York State.”

2:09 Voice 1: “You’re in New York State. Okay, we can’t ship these…”

2:12 Sol: “The wonderful, the wonderful Empire State, the wonderful, beautiful… Send a salami to the boy in the army. I love that slogan.”

2:19 Voice 1: “Yeah, we can’t…”

2:20 Sol: “You got [Inaudible 02:22] over there?

2:24 Voice 1: “Excuse me?”

2:25 Sol: “Yeah. And a salami with a boy in the army. Thank you.”

2:29 Voice 1: “You’re welcome.”

2:30 Sol: “Thank you very much.”

2:31 Voice 1: “Okay.”

2:32 Sol: “Bye!”

2:33 Call ends.