Sparky The Clown

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Sparky The Clown

Characters: Frank, Sparky



0:00 Phone rings..

0:02 Sparky: “Hello.”

0:02 Frank: “Yeah, let me speak to Sparky.”

0:04 Sparky: “Speaking.”

0:05 Frank: “Sparky, Sparky The Clown.  How’re you doin’ fruitcake?”

0:08 Sparky: “Not… not too bad.  Who is this?”

0:09 Frank: “Alright, this is Frank.  

0:11 Sparky: “Frank.”

0:12: Frank: “Frank Rizzo.  Listen, I need you for a gig.”

0:14 Sparky: “Okay.”

0:15 Frank: “What do you do… backflips?  You jump up down in a silly suit… what do you do?”

0:19 Sparky: “I… okay, is this for a child’s birthday or…”

0:22 Frank: “Well, it’s going to be like a little… we have a little scene going over here, few people layin’ around the house and shit, it’s going to be like a little funny thing.  You can get involved if you want, but we want you to do some jugglin’, you know, throw some fuckin’ firebombs up and all that shit.”

0:34 Sparky: “I don’t do any of that.”

0:36 Frank: “Alright, what do you do?”

0:37 Sparky: “I do a magic show and balloon sculpturing.”

0:39 Frank: “Alright, so you could fire some shit in the hou… you got some knives and shit you could bring?”

0:40 Sparky: “No sir.”

0:44 Frank: “Alright.  Well, tell me what you do.”

0:45 Sparky: “I do a magic show sir.”

0:47 Frank: “Alright.  You don’t juggle nothin’?”

0:48 Sparky: “No sir.  What day are you lookin’ at?”

0:50 Frank: “Aah!  What… well, Friday, Saturday.”

0:54 Sparky: “This week?”

0:54 Frank: “No, next week.”

0:56 Sparky: “Next week, we’re booked up.”

1:00 Frank: “Well, the thing is this.  Look, we want… we gotta to get a little clown for the gig because we’re gonna have like a big layout there, got a few broads, few guys.  We’re gonna do our own thing while the clowns, you know, jumpin’ around, doing fuckin’ backflips.  You could swing from the bench, you know, throw some shit around your [Inaudible 00:13] and you get involved any way you want.  We got a terrorist out here too you fu… if you want, you hang up the terrorist. You make the fuckin’ people laugh, whatever.  You fall down in the yard, you know.”  

1:24 Sparky: “I… I don’t think that’s quite what I do.  It’s…”

1:27 Frank: “Well, it’s only five floors up, you know, Sparky, whatever your name.  You fall down.  You ain’t gonna get, you know.  You throw pies.  You do all that shit.”

1:34 Sparky: “Yeah.  Well, we don’t… we don’t do that type.  This is mainly for children is what we do.”

1:38 Frank: “Ah, yeah.  I’ll tell ya I got so many fuckin’, crazy people with me at this party, man, I’ll have a few of dem jumpin’ off the fuckin’ balcony with you, Sparky.”

1:45 Sparky: “Yeah.  Well, I don’t do anything like that.  I’m sorry.”

1:48 Frank: “Ahhhh, alright there!  Okay, listen up.  Sparky, I’ll get you another time when you’re not feelin’ a little too jerky, okay?”

1:54 Sparky: “Okay.”

1:54 Frank: “I’ll call you back.”

1:55 Sparky: “Yeah.”

1:55 Frank: “Right.”