Jake the truck driver

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: Hot Rod Mover

Characters: Jake, the truck driver

Summary: 

“Hot Rod Mover” features Frank Rizzo turning a simple vehicle-moving request into a chaotic prank call. The conversation starts normally but quickly escalates. Miscommunication drives the humor forward. Frank’s bold personality dominates every exchange. The pacing remains fast and engaging. Fans enjoy its unpredictable direction. The call highlights strong character-driven comedy. A classic example of the Jerky Boys humor.

Transcript:

0:00 Phone rings.
0:01 Jake: “Yeah, you need a driver there, buddy?”

0:04 Voice 1: “Who’s this?”

0:04 Jake: “This is Jake callin’ about the job driving’. I saw it in the paper.”

0:08 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:08 Jake: “Yeah. Well, you still need a driver or what?”

0:11 Voice 1: “Uh, did you say I have an application with us, Jake?”

0:13 Jake: “Pardon me.”

0:15 Voice 1: “Huh?”

0:15 Jake: “Speak up there. What did you say?”

0:17 Voice 1: “You say I have an application with us?”

0:19 Jake: “No, no, no, no, no. I… look, I saw the ad in the paper, and I’m calling you a fruitcake. I’m… I’m lookin’ for a job driving a truck.”

0:26 Voice 1: “We’re looking for movers.”

0:27 Jake: “Yeah. Well, that’s what I do.”

0:29 Voice 1: “What class driver’s license do you have?”

0:31 Jake: “I got 5, 1234. I got dem all.”

0:33 Jake: “You have class 1?”

0:34 Jake: “Yeah. Oh sh… I drive buses and trucks. I’ll back a truck to de fuckin’… uh…two ho… two-family house garage, one of those big two-ton trucks.”

0:43 Voice 1: “When was the last time you drove a truck or trailer?”

0:45 Jake: “Oh, jeez! What the fuck? I’d say about two weeks ago, I… I robbed one down in Jersey, and I drove it up here to New York… fuckin’ flyin’. Drove it through the tolls, no stoppin’, no nothin’. I’m good.”

0:56 Voice 1: “Alright, I see. Why don’t you call…uh… call back on Monday?”

1:00 Jake: “Eh! I tell you what? I come in. I’ll take you for a test spin. How’s that? We go out, and we take the truck around the fuckin’ block. I speed. I pop wheelies. I’m good, baby.”

1:09 Voice 1: “Call back on Monday and then I’ll tell ya.”

1:10 Jake: “Alright. Can I get you? I want you. You sound good. You and me, we make a team. You drive with me, alright?”

1:18 Voice 1: “What’s your name again?”

1:19 Jake: “Jake.”

1:20 Voice 1: “Jake. Who did you work for, Jake?”

1:21 Jake: “Oh, jeez! I worked for [Inaudible 01:22]. I worked for Mayflower, you know. Oh, yeah. Don’t sh… eh, I was good with them too.”

1:28 Voice 1: “You worked with [Inaudible 01:29]?”

1:29 Jake: “Yeah, that’s right.”

1:30 Voice 1: “When?”

1:31 Jake: “Uh, about what? Two years ago. See, I got a problem there. They… they get fuckin’ scared when they pop the wheelies and all that shit. You know, I pop a lot of wheelies. I’m good with that shit. You know, I don’t break any merchandise. See that I get it there two hours ahead of time all the time. What do you say?”

1:46 Voice 1: “I say if you’re poppin’ your wheelies there, I’m not even gonna put in your application.”

1:49 Jake: “Ahh! Listen to me. I don’t break nuttin’ sizzlechest. I’m good.”

1:54 Voice 1: “Okay, call Monday. We’ll set up an interview, okay?”

1:57 Jake: “Alright. I’ll do that, then rubberneck. I’ll call you Monday.”

2:00 Voice 1: “Okay.”

2:00 Jake: “Alright, fruitcake. See you later.”