A Little Emergency

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: A little Emergency




0:01 Phone rings..

0:02 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:02] Sports.”

0:03 Voice 2: “Hello.”

0:03 Voice 1: “Hi.”

0:04 Voice 2: “Hi. I have a little problem here.”

0:06 Voice 1: “Okay.”

0:06 Voice 2: “Alright.  Do you guys… do you repair or sell those tennis machines, you know, that fire the balls?”

0:12 Voice 1: “No and no.  We don’t have ’em.”

0:13 Voice 2: “Okay.”

0:14 Voice 1: “We don’t.”  

0:14 Voice 2: “Okay.”

0:14 Voice 1: “I mean…”

0:15 Voice 2: “Alright.  We have a little emergency here.”

0:16 Voice 1: “Okay.”

0:17 Voice 2: “I rented one of these things and what I did was, me and my, you know, Peter and another friend of ours…

0:23 Voice 1: “Right.”

0:24 Voice 2: …and we-we boiled up some potatoes last night and this is fucking crazy, but we were shooting them at each other through the tennis machine.”

0:31 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

0:32 Voice 2: “Oh, it’s… and Peter’s hurt and I mean, we need to fix this machine or something.  What we would do is we would boil the potatoes and put them in Vaseline and fire them at each other and Peter’s really hurt bad.”

0:43 Voice 1: “Yeah?”

0:44 Voice 2: “Yeah.  His ass is blue.”

0:47 Voice 1: “That’s great.”

0:47 Voice 2: “I… you… we need you to come up and fix this machine.  It’s just firing too hard and Michael tried to look when he wasn’t ready.  He was looking to see if it was lined up properly with his ass…

0:56 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

0:57 Voice 2: “…and he turned around and… and a potato blasted him right in the fuckin’ eye.”

1:01 Voice 1: “Hello.”

1:02 Voice 2: “Yeah.”