Picos Mexican Hairpiece

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Pico’s Mexican Hairpiece

Characters: Pico



0:01 Phone rings…

0:03 Voice 1: “How may I help you?”

0:04 Voice 2: “Hello?”

0:05 Voice 1: ‘Hello.”

0:06 Voice 2: “Right. This is (Ketzel). I want you to put a hairpiece on a fellow I got workin’ for me. I own a nice big store. And I got some kid I took off the street but he looks so silly. I told him why don’t you get one of ’em hairpieces on. But he gets pretty offended ‘coz he don’t speak English too good.”

0:25 Voice 1: “Well, sure. We can fix him up.”

0:27 Voice 2: “I met him on the street. He was pickin’ daisies and what-not. I said you want a job. I’ll give you a job. And he said – I don’t know what he said truthfully. I can’t understand him.”

0:36 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

0:37 Voice 2: “Yeah. But what he needs – he needs a good hairstyle, of course. I don’t know. I don’t know. There’s something about his appearance.”

0:44 Voice 1: “Where do you work?”

0:45 Voice 2: “His name, his name is Pico or something like that.”

0:47 Voice 1: “Pico.”

0:48 Pico: “What? Hello? Hello?”

0:51 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:52 Pico: “Yeah. This is Pico.”

0:53 Voice 1: “Yeah, Pico.”

0:54 Pico: “He wants to make better hair on top of my hair because he says he don’t like my head the way it is now.”

0:59 Voice 1: “Well, that’s good. We can fix you up. I have one.”

1:01 Pico: “OK. How is it – what do you do there? Plugs or something like that?”

1:05 Voice 1: “No. No. I’m going to fix you up a nice hairpiece.”

1:08 Pico: “OK. That sounds good. I put it on top of my head. What do you do and how do you do it?”

1:13 Voice 1: “Well, you got this tape and you just stick up there and it stays there.”

1:17 Pico: “This piece of hair I tape it on the back of my hair or how does it go?”

1:22 Voice 1: “No. No. No. You tape it on the hairpiece that sticks on your head.”

1:25 Pico: “Hold on. You talk…”

1:26 Voice 2: “Hey, why you get off the (inaudible)? Get off. Go back to work. Go – hello?”

1:33 Voice 1: “Hello.”

1:34 Voice 2: “Yeah. What? I want him to get a hairpiece but I don’t really appreciate you…”

1:38 Pico: “I was only kind of explaining something to him. He tried to tell me.”

1:41 Voice 2: “Get away from me. I don’t appreciate you tryin’ to take my business away speaking to the guy like this because, you know, he gotta get to work.”

1:51 Voice 1: “Oh, I see.”

1:52 Voice 2: “Yeah, because – oh – get back. Go to work.”

1:56 Pico: “(Inaudible 01:56). Who the hell are you?”

1:58 Voice 2: “I said go to work. Hey, you know, I don’t know where you get off speakin’ to him about hairstyles when he got work to do.”

2:06 Voice 1: “Yeah, I see.”

2:07 Voice 2: “You know, I caught him stealing some peanuts and some money and he keeps sendin’ it to his family.”

2:13 Pico: “Who the fuck are you?! You’re a liar!”

2:15 Voice 2: “Get back to work before I give you a beatin’. OK? Are you there?”

2:20 Voice 1: ‘I’m here.”

2:21 Voice 2: “Right. You know, yesterday I kicked him so hard that he would say I don’t understand. He is acting crazy now.”

2:28 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

2:29 Voice 2: “Yeah, because I kicked him in his little hiney.”

2:32 Voice 1: “Oh, I see.”

2:33 Voice 2: “Right. OK. You are starting to – you’re really gettin’ on my case now. OK? I’ll see you later.”

2:38 Voice 1: “OK.”