Breast Enlargement

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Breast Enlargement




0:01 Phone rings…

0:03 Voice 1: “Research center.”

0:04 Voice 2: “Hello. Is Michael in?”

0:06 Voice 1: “No, he is not.”

0:07 Voice 2: “OK. I was wondering – I heard about the breast enlargement thing.”

0:11 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

0:12 Voice 2: “Uhm. Can he do that for me?”

0:14 Voice 1: “He’s out of town. But we do offer audio and cassette tape.”

0:18 Voice 2: “Yeah. Does this really work? I mean, is this crazy or does this work or what?”

0:23 Voice 1: “Yes, it does work, to naturally increase plus factors and fatty tissue.”

0:27 Voice 2: “OK, ‘coz, you know, what I am trying to do is I really don’t know which way I am swinging yet. But I could use larger breasts and I’m sure it’ll work for me if Michael is that good.”

0:37 Voice 1: “OK.”

0:38 Voice 2: “All right. I was thinking…”

0:40 Voice 1: “You know what? What…”

0:40 Voice 2: “…several different things. I wanted to move my penis around to the backside of my ass because I don’t know which way I want to swing it. So I want to keep it just in case. And if he can – my breasts that would just be great if he is good at that.”

0:52 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

0:53 Voice 2: “Can that be done?”

0:55 Voice 1: “Well, what kind of country are you coming from?”

0:58 Voice 2: “Well, I am coming from New York?”

0:59 Voice 1: “OK.”

1:00 Voice 2: “Because what I would like to have done, too, like, I don’t know. I want to make parts of me bigger and like I am always slugging myself in the genitalia. Anything that will work, I’ll try. I’m crazy like that. You know, ropes, I hang myself from a swing bar and I do all kinds of silly little back flips. So if this would help me, I mean, I would throw myself a flight of stairs, whatever it took.”

1:23 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

1:24 Voice 2: “And if he is good at this, I am ready to go. I mean now does he pull on my breasts and tug them hard to get this effect?”

1:31 Voice 1: “What?”

1:32 Voice 2: “How does he do it? Does he kick me in the breasts like silly or what happens? How does it work?”

1:36 Voice 1: “It’s hypnosis.”

1:37 Voice 2: “Oh. So he doesn’t do it physically?”

1:40 Voice 1: “Nah.”

1:41 Voice 2: “Oh, I was under the impression that he will beat about the breasts until they enlarge.”

1:45 Voice 1: “No.”

1:46 Voice 2: “Oh, OK.”

1:47 Woman laughs.

1:49 Voice 2: “All right. Well, I guess I should call him back then.”

1:52 Voice 1: “Well, he is going to be out of town…”

1:55 Voice 2: “OK.”

1:56 Voice 1: “…for the next two weeks. And what we do – and what we do basically is prove our point live on radio.”

2:03 Voice 2: “Oh. I heard that he does operations and all these nonsense.”

2:06 Voice 1: “No.”

2:07 Voice 2: “Oh, OK. OK.”

2:08 Voice 1: “He has a surgical hypnotherapist.’

2:10 Voice 2: “OK. When is a good time to get him?”

2:12 Voice 1: “Uhm. Why don’t you call back in about two weeks?”

2:15 Voice 2: “OK. That is what I will do. Thank you.”

2:17 Voice 1: “OK.”