0 comments

Diamond Dealer

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Diamond dealer

Characters: Operator

Summary:

“Diamond Dealer” features Frank Rizzo turning a professional jewelry call into a loud and chaotic prank. The conversation starts normally but quickly escalates. Miscommunication drives the humor forward at a fast pace. Frank’s bold delivery keeps the energy high throughout. It captures the raw, unscripted style that made the Jerky Boys famous. Fans enjoy the contrast between luxury and chaos. The call stands out for its nonstop escalation. A memorable piece of classic prank call comedy.

Transcript:

0:01 Phone rings…

0:03 Operator picks up and says, “Good afternoon.”

0:04 Voice 1: “Yeah, I got some stones here I want to get rid of.”

0:07 Operator: “What type of stones?”

0:08 Voice 1: “Kidney… What type of stones? What do you think? I got some rocks and diamonds. I wanna unload them. I waxed and fucked around last night. I want to get rid of these things. You got somebody over there to do business with me?”

0:20 Operator: “Sure. One moment”

0:21 Voice 1: “Alright, get him on the phone.”

0:24 Operator: “Sure. One moment.”

0:33 Voice 2: “May I help you?”

0:34 Voice 1: “Yeah, what’s up? You hung up on me. Something happened there.”

0:36 Voice 2: “Excuse me, sir?”

0:37 Voice 1: “Somebody hung up the phone on me. I was trying to get somebody over there.”

0:40 Voice 2:  “It’s…This is somebody else. How I can help you?”

0:43 Voice 1:  “Alright. Look. I’m trying to get somebody about some rocks I got to unload.”

0:46 Voice 2: “Okay, you don’t mind to speak up with all this.”

0:48 Voice 1: “No, see if you can get him over there for me on the phone, okay?

0:51 Voice 2:  “Excuse me, sir?”

0:52 Voice 1: “Thank you. Get him on the phone if you could.”

0:54 Voice 2: “Sir, I’m more than happy to help you.”

0:57 Voice 1: “Listen, I don’t have time to play with the phone ya. I’ve got lot of stuff I’ve gotta get done. Okay?”

1:00 Voice 2: “Sir, you don’t know how to speak with somebody.”

1:03 Voice 1: “Do me a favor.”

1:04 Voice 2: [Inaudible 1:04]

1:06 Voice 1: “Look, you’re illiterate in the first place, okay?”

1:07 Voice 2: “Excuse me?”

1:08 Voice 1: “You’re illiterate in the first place. Get me somebody I can talk to.”

1:11 Voice 2: “Sir, how I can help you?”

1:14 Voice 1: “No, no… How can I help you, sir? Thank you! Get me somebody on the phone I can talk to. I’m a very busy man,”

1:20 Voice 2: “I’m happy to help you over the phone right?”

1:21 Voice 1: “I’ve got a little job for you on the side. Get me one of your bosses.”

1:24 Voice 3: “Hello!”

1:25 Voice 1: “How you doing there fruity? Listen…”

1:26     Voice 3: “Yeah.”

1:27 Voice 1: “I got these stones I want to unload. I waxed and fucked around last night. I want to get rid of these stones. I can’t be playing with these things around.”

1:34 Voice 3: “Ah…”

1:35 Voice 1: “Alright. You do business with me or what?”

1:37 Voice 3: “Ah…?”

1:38 Voice 1: “We’ve got to do business. Talk cash. What’s the story here?”

1:40 Voice 3: “I don’t know.”

1:41 Voice 1: “You want to meet somewhere or what? You’re gonna get cute, funny, fresh with me? What’s the story?”

1:45 Voice 3: “I don’t know man. If you waxed somebody out for the stones I can do nothing.”’

1:49 Voice 1: “Hey, hey, this is America baby.”

1:51 Voice 3: “Sorry!”

1:52 Voice 1: “Survival of the fittest.”

Diamond Dealer – A Classic Jerky Boys Prank Call

“Diamond Dealer” is a standout Jerky Boys prank call that takes a high-end, professional setting and flips it into a loud, unpredictable comedy moment. Featuring the unmistakable Frank Rizzo, this skit transforms a simple inquiry about diamonds into a fast-paced exchange filled with confusion, attitude, and bold humor.

This is Jerky Boys comedy at its finest, raw, unscripted, and powered entirely by character. It’s exactly why they became true crank call legends and icons of classic comedy albums.

What Happens in “Diamond Dealer”

The call begins with what seems like a normal conversation with a jewelry professional. But once Frank Rizzo takes control, the tone shifts quickly and the interaction spirals into chaos.

The humor builds through:

  • Miscommunication that escalates rapidly

  • Over-the-top reactions to professional responses

  • A steady rise in tension and absurdity

  • A character who refuses to follow normal conversation rules

This is what makes Jerky Boys prank calls so effective, turning even high-end scenarios into unpredictable comedy.

The Frank Rizzo Signature Style

Frank Rizzo remains one of the most iconic voices in classic comedy albums, and “Diamond Dealer” showcases his strengths perfectly.

His performance includes:

  • Loud, commanding delivery that dominates the call

  • Exaggerated reactions that fuel the humor

  • Relentless pacing that keeps listeners engaged

  • A personality that turns confusion into comedy

This character-driven style helped transform recordings like this into timeless comedy collectibles.

Why Fans Love This

Fans keep coming back to “Diamond Dealer” because it delivers everything they expect from the Jerky Boys:

  • Raw, unscripted humor that feels authentic

  • A fast-paced exchange with nonstop escalation

  • Frank Rizzo at full intensity

  • A contrast between professionalism and chaos

For collectors of Jerky Boys merchandise, this skit stands out for its setting and delivery.

Perfect For

This prank call is perfect for:

  • Fans of classic comedy albums

  • Collectors of comedy collectibles

  • Anyone exploring custom prank calls

  • Listeners who enjoy bold, character-driven humor

Whether you’re discovering the Jerky Boys or revisiting their most iconic calls, this track delivers a memorable experience.

A Piece of Comedy History

The Jerky Boys built their legacy by placing outrageous characters into everyday, and sometimes upscale, situations. The contrast between expectation and behavior is what makes their calls so effective.

“Diamond Dealer” reflects that formula perfectly. It’s raw, direct, and powered entirely by personality. That authenticity is what keeps fans coming back.

Owning or revisiting this skit means adding another piece of classic comedy history to your collection.

The Jerky Boys Connection

The Jerky Boys built their reputation by turning everyday and professional settings into unforgettable comedy. Their legendary prank calls rely on bold delivery, timing, and real reactions. Through their classic comedy albums, they became true pioneers of the genre. Fans of Jerky Boys merchandise, custom prank calls, and comedy collectibles continue to celebrate their work. The formula remains simple: take any situation, disrupt it completely, and make it hilarious.

Read the best Jerky Boys quotes and funny lines.