Truck Registration – Frank Rizzo

The Jerky Boys, Album 4

Title: Truck Registration

Characters: Frank Rizzo, DMV Agent




0:01 Phone rings…

0:04 Voice 1: “You have reached the Department of Motor Vehicles. All of our agents are busy. Please hold for the next available agent. Thank you.”

0:11 Voice 2: “Fuck you.”

0:12 [Music playing]

0:15 Voice 3: “Good afternoon. Department of Motor Vehicles agent speaking.”

0:18 Voice 2: “Hello.”

0:20 Voice 3: “Yes.”

0:21 Voice 2: “Yeah. What’s up, Charlie? How are you doin’?”

0:23 Voice 3: “All right.”

0:24 Voice 2: “Yeah. I want to register my truck. How do I go about doin’ it?”

0:26 Voice 3: “What type of truck?”

0:28 Voice 2: “It’s a pick-up truck. You know, one of them old-time pick-ups.”

0:32 Voice 3: “You just bought it?”

0:33 Voice 2: “Yeah. It’s old style, you know.”

0:35 Voice 3: “You bought it from a private party?”

0:37 Voice 2: “You know, I didn’t actually buy it. But that’s my business. You know what I’m sayin’? I want to register this thing. How do I go about it?”

0:41 Voice 3: “Yeah. Well, you got to tell me how you acquired the truck so I will tell you what type of paperwork to bring down to the Department of Motor Vehicles.”

0:48 Voice 2: “You want to know the truth?”

0:49 Voice 3: “Yeah.”

0:51 Voice 2: “The truck is stolen. I want to register it though.”

0:55 Voice 3: “How you going to register a stolen truck, sir?”

0:58 Voice 2: “Well, my brother he got – he can fix up some paperwork and shit like that. I just want to come down and register this thing.”

1:03 Voice 3: “No. He can’t do that, sir.”

1:05 Voice 2: “He’s already done it. I got the paperwork. You see what I’m sayin’? They take the VIN number off the motor there. They do all kinds of trickery. I just want to get this thing on the road. I don’t want the cops breakin’ my balls, you know.”

1:16 Voice 3: “No, sir. You got a title for that truck.”

1:20 Voice 2: “Absolutely not. But I’ll tell you again my brother is good with that stuff. We make up all the phony stuff with the VIN numbers.”

1:25 Voice 3: “Listen. Bring the title.”

1:27 Voice 2: “Yeah. Now what do I got to bring? I don’t have a license? How do I get around that one?”

1:31 Voice 3: “Bring six points of identification.”

1:33 Voice 2: “Can I bring a few bucks?”

1:35 Voice 3: “You can’t do that, sir.”

1:37 Voice 2: “Me and you hook up?”

1:38 Voice 3: “No.”

1:39 Voice 2: “All right. Look. If I come down there, you’re not going to tell me there is no way I get this thing on the road.”

1:43 Voice 3: “You have to go into the office and find out.”

1:45 Voice 2: “I tell you worse comes to worse anyway I just drive the fuckin’ thing anyhow. You know what I’m sayin’? My brother makes fake plates, too.”

1:50 Voice 3: “All right.”

1:51 Voice 2: “You see what I’m sayin’?”

1:52 Voice 3: “Yeah.”

1:52 Voice 2: “Hey, you need any of that shit?”

1:54 Voice 3: “Huh?”

1:55 Voice 2: “You need any fake plates, anything? I’d get it for you.”

1:56 Voice 3: “No.”

1:57 Voice 2: “You need any of that. You let me know.”

1:58 Voice 3: “Uh-huh.”

1:59 Voice 2: “All right.”

2:00 Voice 3: “Yeah.”

2:00 Voice 2: “We on the right track?”

2:01 Voice 3: “Yeah.”

2:02 Voice 2: “Let me hook up with you. You get me all the shit I need.”

2:04 Man laughs.

2:05 Voice 2: “All right. I don’t want to wait on them damn long lines. Those fuckin’ lines go forever.”

2:10 Voice 3: “That’s what you’re going to have to do, sir.”

2:11 Voice 2: “Nah. I don’t do that, baby. No way. I’ll just drive this fucker the way it is.”

2:15 Voice 3: “OK.”

2:15 Voice 2: “See you later, there, silly.”

2:16 Voice 3: “All right.”

2:17 Voice 2: “Right on, brother.”