Spider Monkey – Jack Tors
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Spider Monkey [Explicit]$1.29
The Jerky Boys, Album 4
Title: Spider Monkey
Characters: Jack Tors
Summary:
“Spider Monkey – Jack Tors” features a high-energy prank call driven by chaotic storytelling and unpredictable humor. The conversation begins with a bizarre premise and quickly escalates. Jack’s loud and erratic delivery keeps the pace fast. Confusion and absurdity build throughout the call. The humor comes from constant unpredictability. Fans enjoy its wild and unconventional style. It stands out from more structured prank calls. A unique and energetic piece of classic comedy.
Transcript:
0:01 Phone rings…
0:02 Voice 1: “Hello.”
0:03 Voice 2: “Hello.”
0:04 Voice 1: “Yes.”
0:04 Voice 2: ‘Hi. I understand you want a monkey?”
0:06 Voice 1: “Yes, I am looking for one.”
0:08 Voice 2: “That’s funny because I have one.”
0:10 Voice 1: “OK. What kind do you have?”
0:11 Voice 2: “I have a small little spider monkey.”
0:14 Voice 1: “Small little spider monkey.”
0:15 Voice 2: “Yeah.”
0:16 Voice 1: “That means it’s a young spider monkey, I guess, because it’s small.”
0:19 Voice 2: “Yeah. Well, spider monkeys usually aren’t that big.”
0:22 Voice 1: “Really?”
0:23 Voice 2: “Yeah. And this one won’t have a chance to get big anyhow.”
0:26 Voice 1: “Why is that?”
0:27 Voice 2: “He smokes cigarettes and all that nonsense.”
0:30 Voice 1: “I don’t think they were supposed to smoke.”
0:32 Voice 2: “Yeah. Well, he’s crazy.”
0:35 Voice 1: “Uh-huh. Maybe the cigarette smoke did that to him.”
0:38 Voice 2: “Well, this little guy is a nut job. I tried to sleep and all that and he hit me in the face with this little bottle I have next to the bed.”
0:46 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”
0:47 Voice 2: “He is out of his mind. So I got to get rid of him.”
0:49 Voice 1: “How old is it?”
0:50 Voice 2: “Oh, I’d say about a year, a year and several months. But he is – I used to use him in an act that I did a little night club thing. I used to beat him senseless. And he’s gone crazy, off the wall.”
1:03 Voice 1: “It must have been the beating.”
1:04 Voice 2: “Well, you know, hey, we all suffer now and then.”
1:07 Voice 1: “Yeah. It sounds like he can’t have more now.”
1:09 Voice 2: “Yeah. Well, that’s, you know, sometimes breaks can be tough in life. But this little guy, you know, always when I’m sleeping, he manages to get out of his cage. He’s crazy.”
1:20 Voice 1: “So do you want to sell him?”
1:21 Voice 2: “Yeah. I want to get rid of him. He’s lunatic. He’s going to stab me or something.”
1:25 Voice 1: “Then keep sharp things distance away.”
1:28 Voice 2: “Yeah. He’s crazy. Now you want this little freak?”
1:31 Voice 1: “Yeah.”
1:32 Voice 2: “What do you want him for?”
1:33 Voice 1: “I have a bird-breeding facility with some…”
1:35 Voice 2: “Oh. Forgot this guy with birds. He’ll kill every one of them.”
1:39 Voice 1: “No. I have a bunch of spider monkeys.”
1:41 Voice 2: “I think you might have him spayed so he doesn’t kill the birds.”
1:44 Voice 1: “Well, I have two spider monkeys already that are quite tame.”
1:48 Voice 2: “Oh. You don’t beat them?”
1:49 Voice 1: “I have to.”
1:50 Voice 2: “Right. Oh, you know, what I used to do with this guy, I would fire a hot cup of coffee of them because he’s just drivin’ me nuts and he really doesn’t respond even if I hit him with the hot coffee I kick him up the ass and I just – I don’t need this headache.”
2:05 Voice 1: “Uh-huh. What do you want for it?”
2:07 Voice 2: “Oh. I don’t know. Maybe what? Twenty or thirty dollars? I’d rather get rid of him. He’s a fruit cake. Oh. He got loose. Goodbye.”
2:17 Voice 1: “OK.”
Spider Monkey – Jack Tors | Classic Jerky Boys Call
“Spider Monkey – Jack Tors” is a wild and unforgettable Jerky Boys prank call that showcases one of the most unpredictable and energetic characters in their lineup. Jack Tors brings a completely different vibe compared to other voices, loud, erratic, and impossible to ignore.
This skit highlights why the Jerky Boys became true crank call legends, blending absurd concepts with high-energy delivery across their classic comedy albums.
What Happens in “Spider Monkey”
The call kicks off with an unusual premise involving a “spider monkey,” instantly setting the tone for something chaotic and unexpected. From there, Jack Tors takes the conversation in directions that make less sense by the second, and that’s exactly the point.
The humor builds through:
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Absurd storytelling that keeps shifting
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Over-the-top reactions and sudden outbursts
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A fast-paced conversation with unpredictable turns
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A character who thrives on confusion and chaos
This is what makes Jerky Boys prank calls so memorable, they don’t follow rules, and that’s where the comedy lives.
The Jack Tors Signature Style
Jack Tors stands out among classic comedy albums for his explosive and unpredictable personality.
His performance includes:
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High-energy delivery that never slows down
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Sudden changes in tone and direction
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Loud, exaggerated reactions that drive the humor
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A chaotic presence that keeps listeners guessing
This style adds a different layer to the Jerky Boys catalog and makes recordings like this valuable comedy collectibles.
Why Fans Love This
Fans love “Spider Monkey – Jack Tors” because it delivers pure, unfiltered chaos:
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Fast-paced humor that never settles
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A completely unpredictable character
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A bizarre premise that keeps evolving
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A different energy from traditional prank calls
For collectors of Jerky Boys merchandise, this track stands out for its intensity and originality.
Perfect For
This prank call is perfect for:
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Fans of classic comedy albums
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Collectors of comedy collectibles
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Anyone exploring custom prank calls
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Listeners who enjoy high-energy, unpredictable humor
Whether you’re new to the Jerky Boys or a longtime fan, this skit delivers something unique.
A Piece of Comedy History
The Jerky Boys didn’t rely on just one formula. They experimented with different characters, tones, and styles, and Jack Tors represents their most chaotic side.
“Spider Monkey” reflects that creativity. It’s loud, unpredictable, and completely driven by character. That willingness to take risks is what made their work stand the test of time.
Owning or revisiting this skit means adding a bold piece of comedy history to your collection.
The Jerky Boys Connection
The Jerky Boys built their legacy by creating unforgettable characters and pushing comedy into unexpected territory. Their legendary prank calls rely on bold delivery, timing, and real reactions. Through their classic comedy albums, they introduced a wide range of personalities, from loud to subtle to completely chaotic. Fans of Jerky Boys merchandise, custom prank calls, and comedy collectibles continue to celebrate their influence. The formula is simple: be bold, stay unpredictable, and make people laugh.
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Spider Monkey [Explicit]$1.29