Masturbation Box

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: Masturbation Box

Characters: Sol Rosenberg

Summary:

“Masturbation Box” features Frank Rizzo delivering one of his boldest prank calls. A strange concept quickly turns into a chaotic and hilarious exchange. The humor builds through shock, confusion, and fast escalation. It captures the raw, unscripted style that made the Jerky Boys famous. Fans enjoy it for its energy and originality. A standout piece of classic prank call comedy.

Transcript:

0:01 Voice 1: “Hello.”…

0:02 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:03: Voice 1: “Hi”

0:04 Voice 2: “Hi”

0:05 Voice 1: “Can you weld a box for me?”

0:09 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:10 Voice 1: “A steel box.”

0:12 Voice 2: “Yes. Would you be able to bring it in?”

0:14 Voice 1: “No, it’s a big one. It’s heavy.”

0:17 Voice 2: “We would have to come to you?”

0:19 Voice 1: “Yes. Please stop those people from talking. I can’t hear you.”

0:24 Voice 2: “Okay. Can you hold one second?”

0:25 Voice 1: “Please.”

0:29 Voice 1:  “Hello.”

0:30 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:31 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:32 Voice 2: “Okay. We would have to come see you. I can give you our labor rates. What kind of box is this and where is it?”

0:38 Voice 1: “I brought the steel myself. It’s very heavy. It’s a box. I just need you to weld it together.”

0:46 Voice 2: “Can you hold one second?”

0:50 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:51 Voice 2: “Yes. Can I have your name?”

0:52 Voice 1: “Yes. My name is Sol.”

0:55 Voice 2: “Sol?”

0:56 Sol: “Sol. Damn you! Sol”

0:58 Voice 2: [Laughs]”Who is this?”

1:01 Sol: “Sol.”

1:02 Voice 2: “Who is this?”

1:03 Sol: “This is Sol Rosenberg. Hello!”

1:07 Voice 2: “Yes.”

1:08 Sol: “Yes. Hi”

1:09 Voice 2: “Hi”

1:10 Sol: “Hello, ma’am”

1:11: Voice 2: “Hi.”

1:12 Sol: “Yes.”

1:13 Voice 2: “Who is this?”

1:14: Sol:” “It’s Sol!”

1:15 Voice 2: “Yes.”

1:16 Sol: “C’mon, Please stop.”

1:18 Voice 2: [Laughs] “Yes.”

1:20 Sol: “Oh God! Oh Christ! Hello?”

1:24 Voice 2: “Who is this?”

1:26 Sol: “Hi, Hi”

1:27 Voice 2: “Hi”

1:28 Sol: “Please.”

1:29 Voice 2: “Please what?”

1:30 Sol: “Will you make me the box?”

1:35 Voice 3: “Hello”

1:36 Sol: “Yes.”

1:37 Voice 3: “Yes.”

1:38 Sol: “I want it just big enough so that I can fit inside of it.”

1:41 Voice 3: “That you could fit inside of it?”

1:43 Sol: “Yes. And I could…”

1:44 Voice 3: “What are you making? A box?”

1:47 Sol: “Yes, a box that I could be fit inside, welded in there, so I can masturbate.”

1:51 Voice 3: “Oh really!”[Laughs]

1:52 Sol: “Yes.”

1:53 Voice 3:”That’s a joke.”

1:54 Sol: ‘Stop it.”

1:55 Voice 3: “Why would you want to be a box to masturbate?”[Laughs]

2:00 Sol: “Stop! Stop laughing at me please.”

2:03 Voice 3: “I can’t “

2:05 Sol: “Stop.”

2:06 Voice 3: “I can’t.”

2:07 Sol: “I want a box please.”

2:08 Voice 3: “You want a box? What kind of box?”

2:10 Sol:  “Where I can punch you in the mouth.”

2:13 Voice 3: “Yeah? And I punch… I kick in your ass.”

2:15 Sol: “You know how people fight? I would slug you right in the gut.”

2:18 Voice 3: “Oh really?”

2:19 Sol: “I’ll hit you in the gut then I would punch you right in your mouth.”

2:21: Voice 3: “If you have so many… so much guts, why don’t you come over here and do it in person?”

2:25 Sol:” Oh, no, no. I don’t want you to fight. It’s an idea.”

2:28 Voice 3: “Oh, it’s an idea, eh?”

2:29 Sol: “Like inside the box. “

2:30 Voice 3: “Oh, inside the box?”

2:31 Sol: “Yes.”

2:32 Voice 3: “Yeah.”

2:33 Sol: “Would you be in there with me?”

2:34 Voice 3: “No.”

2:35 Sol: “We could masturbate in the box.”

2:36 Voice 3: “No. I don’t need to masturbate in the box.”

2:38 Voice 2: “Who is this?”

2:38 Sol: “Hello.”

2:39 Voice 2: “Who is this?”

2:41 Sol: “Hi. I’m trying to build a box ma’am.”

2:44 Voice 2: “First you wanted to weld the box. Now you want to build the box. Which one is it?”

2:48 Sol: “I have the steel. You just need to weld it.”

2:49 Voice 3: “You need to weld to hide inside of it.”

2:52 Voice 2: “Oh, that kind of box? Who is this? Who is this?”

2:55 Sol: “Okay.”

2:56 Voice 2: “I’m going to hang up on you”

2:57 Sol: “Let me make it straight. My name is Sol.”

2:58 Voice 2: “I’m going to hang up on you.”

2:59 Sol: “My name is Sol.”

3:00 Voice 2: “How could you? It’s [Inaudible 03:02] your brother in law.”

3:04 Sol; “No, no, no. Not Sal, my name is Sol.”

3:08 Voice 4” “Hey idiot.”

3:10 Voice 2: “Sol?”

3:11 Sol: “Yes.”

3:12 Voice 2: “Who did you put on the phone? Who is that?”

3:14 Sol: “You see my wife.”

3:15 Voice 2: “What?”

3:17 Sol: “Who’s that?

3:18 Voice 4: “Hey idiot.”

3:19 Sol: “Get off the phone you stupid bastard!”

3:22 [Laughter]

3:23 Voice 4: “Who is that?”

3:24 Sol: “Hello.”

3:25 Voice 2: “Who is this?”

3:27 Sol: “Please… This is Sol.”

3:29 Voice 2: “No, it’s not.”

3:30 Sol: “My name is Sol Rosenberg.”

3:31 Voice 2: “No, it’s not. I want to know who this is.”

3:33 Sol: “I’m telling you.”

3:35 Voice 4: “What do you want idiot?”

3:36 Sol: “Get off the phone you stupid bastard.”

3:38 [Laughter]

3:44 Sol: “Hello.”

3:45 Voice 4: “Hello.”

3:46 Sol: “What is this ass doing on the phone? I was speaking to the girls not you.”

3:50 Voice 2: “He’s not an ass. You are.”

3:51 Sol: “He’s a piece of shit.”

3:52 Voice 2: “You’re not being truthful with me. I want to know who this is because I’m going to hang up.”

3:56 Sol: “What is he, a big tough guy?”

3:58 Voice 2: “That’s right. He’s a big tough guy and you should be scared.”

4:00 Sol: “He’s a piece of shit.”

4:02 Voice 2: “Ooh”

4:03 Voice 4: “Hey, [Inaudible 04:03], get the caller id number.”

4:05 Sol: “Oh, I’m scared. Oh, I’m real scared, you piece of shit!

4:10 Voice 2: [Laughs]

4:11 Sol: “Get the caller id number. Oh boy! I’m so scared, you piece of shit!”

4:17 Voice 4: “Who is this [Inaudible 04:18]”

4:19 Sol: “I’m going to call the police on you. That’s it! I’m calling the police on you, sons of bitches!”

4:24 Voice 2: “That’s nice.”

4:25 Sol: “I’m calling the police. I’ve had enough!”

4:27 Voice 2: “Okay.”

4:28 Sol: “You couldn’t make me the box, could you?”

4:29 Voice 2: “No.”

4:30 Voice 3: “Where’s the box? Where’s the steel?”
4:31 Sol: “I just wanted a box big enough to…

4:34 Voice 3: “Yeah, yeah. Bring the box, bring the steel. We’ll weld you in there and just so you won’t be able to come out ever again.”

4:40 Sol: “I just wanted to put my wife’s fat ass in the box and sink it to the bottom of the sea.”

4:44 Voice 3: “I thought you wanted to masturbate in the box.”

4:47: Sol: “Wll, I masturbate in the box before she goes in the damn thing.”

4:51 Voice 3: “Oh, really!”[Laughs]

4:52 Sol: “And then I’ll throw her fat ass in the box and send her sea [Inaudible 04:56] Hello!”

4:57 Voice 3: “Yeah.”

4:58 Sol: “Hi”

4:59 Voice 3: “Hi.”

5:01 Sol: “You’re a filthy woman!”

5:02 Voice 3: “Just like you, I’m talking to you just like you are talking to me.”

5:05 Voice 2: “Are you going to tell me who this is now?”

5:07 Sol: “I said it’s Sol.”

5:09 Voice 2 hangs up the phone.

Masturbation Box – A Classic Jerky Boys Prank Call

“Masturbation Box” is one of those Jerky Boys prank calls that instantly stands out for its shock value and bold delivery. Featuring the unmistakable Frank Rizzo, this skit takes an unusual concept and turns it into a fast-paced, chaotic exchange that keeps listeners hooked.

This is classic Jerky Boys humor, unpredictable, unapologetic, and driven by personality. It’s exactly the kind of content that helped define the crank call legends.

What Happens in “Masturbation Box”

The conversation begins with a strange premise that immediately puts the other person on edge. From there, Frank Rizzo pushes the situation further, using his signature intensity to keep the interaction moving in unexpected directions.

The humor builds through:

• A shocking and unusual topic
• Rapid escalation that increases tension
• Confusion that fuels the comedy
• A character who refuses to hold back

This is what makes Jerky Boys prank calls so effective, they take something unexpected and push it to the limit.

The Frank Rizzo Style of Comedy

Frank Rizzo is one of the most iconic voices from classic comedy albums, and this skit shows why he continues to stand out.

His approach includes:

• Loud, confident delivery that dominates the call
• Over-the-top reactions that create humor
• Relentless pacing that keeps listeners engaged
• A personality that turns awkward moments into comedy

This performance is a perfect example of how the Jerky Boys created lasting comedy collectibles through character-driven humor.

Why Fans Love This

Fans of the Jerky Boys appreciate “Masturbation Box” because it delivers a bold and memorable experience:

• It pushes boundaries without feeling forced
• The reactions feel genuine and unscripted
• The humor builds quickly and stays strong
• Frank Rizzo’s personality carries the entire skit

For collectors of Jerky Boys merchandise, this track is another standout addition.

Perfect For

This prank call is perfect for:

• Fans of classic comedy albums
• Collectors of comedy collectibles
• Anyone exploring custom prank calls
• Listeners who enjoy bold, edgy humor

Whether you’re revisiting the Jerky Boys or discovering them for the first time, this skit offers a unique experience.

A Piece of Comedy History

The Jerky Boys built their reputation by taking risks and creating content that stood out. Long before modern platforms, they were delivering raw, unscripted comedy that people couldn’t forget.

“Masturbation Box” reflects that era perfectly. It’s bold, direct, and driven entirely by personality. That authenticity is what keeps it relevant today.

Owning or revisiting this skit means adding another piece of classic comedy history to your collection.

Discover the complete character history on the official Jerky Boys website.