Herman – Sammy Cox

The Jerky Boys, Album 4

Title: Herman

Characters: Sammy Cox, Herman

Summary:

Sammy Cox calls Herman and asks for a hot cup of soup. He says Jason spilled it all over his balls, says he just got out of the hospital, and asks for a beer. The call turns to Scott, and Sammy closes on Gaspachio, muy caliente.

As the skit progresses, Herman receives a call from Sammy Cox, who comically complains about a hot cup of soup that has caused discomfort to his private parts. Herman, initially confused, tries to understand the situation but ends up laughing at Sammy Cox’s absurd complaints. The humor escalates as Sammy Cox accuses Herman of inappropriate actions with another character named Scott, incorporating suggestive and ridiculous scenarios into the conversation.

The skit concludes with Herman attempting to identify Sammy Cox, who closes on Gaspachio, muy caliente. The exchange is filled with witty banter and over-the-top scenarios, providing a lighthearted and entertaining experience for the audience.

Transcript:

0:06 Sammy Cox: “Let me speak to Herman.”

0:08 Herman: “This is Herman.”

0:09 Sammy Cox: “Herman?”

0:10 Herman: “Hey.”

0:11 Sammy Cox: “Let me speak to Herman.”

0:12 Herman: “This is Herman.”

0:13 Sammy Cox: “How are you doin’?”

0:14 Herman: “Fine. Thank you.”

0:15 Sammy Cox: “Where’s Jason?”

0:16 Herman: “What?”

0:17 Sammy Cox: “Where’s Jason? Hello?”

0:20 Herman: “Yes?”

0:20 Sammy Cox: “Yes. You got soup there?”

0:21 Herman: “Yeah.”

0:24 Sammy Cox: “I need a hot cup of soup.”

0:26 Herman: “OK.”

0:27 Sammy Cox: “Hello?”

0:28 Herman: “Come and get it.”

0:30 Sammy Cox: “What do you mean?”

0:31 Herman: “Yeah. We got soup.”

0:32 Sammy Cox: “Yeah. Well, was it hot soup?”

0:34 Herman: “Yeah. Very hot.”

0:35 Sammy Cox: “Well, you gave Jason a soup. He spilled it all over my balls.”

0:39 Herman laughs.

0:40 Sammy Cox: “What are you? Fuckin’ laughin’?”

0:41 Herman: “No. You know, I’m just – you know it was hot?”

0:44 Sammy Cox: “Yeah, the soup is hot. I know it’s hot. My balls don’t burn. I ought to know it’s hot.”

0:49 Sammy Cox: “What’s the matter with you?”

0:50 Herman: “I’m sorry, sir.”

0:52 Sammy Cox: “I just got out of the hospital.”

0:54 Herman: “Really?”

0:54 Sammy Cox: “Jason.”

0:55 Herman: “I’m really sorry.”

0:56 Sammy Cox: “Give me a beer, Jason.”

0:58 Herman: “But that…”

0:59 Sammy Cox: “You’re a bastard. You know that?”

1:01 Herman: “What can I do for that?”

1:03 Sammy Cox: “You’re a fuckin’ jerk.”

1:05 Herman: “How come?”

1:06 Sammy Cox: “Herman.”

1:06 Herman: “What?”

1:08 Sammy Cox: “What are you doin’?”

1:09 Herman: “Ah nothin’. Working hard, like always.”

1:11 Sammy Cox: “Let me ask you something. Do you fuck Scott?”

1:14 Herman: “Oh, no, no. I’m not.”

1:15 Sammy Cox: “Does he have a tight little asshole?”

1:17 Herman: “No. No. He’s my best friend. I don’t do that thing. Who’s this?”

1:20 Sammy Cox: “You know Scott’s pussy, he has pussy lips on his ass.”

1:22 Herman: “Who’s this?”

1:23 Sammy Cox: “He can talk with his ass that guy.”

1:25 Herman: “Who’s this?”

1:27 Sammy Cox: “Listen. I’m talkin’ to you.”

1:29 Herman: “Tell me who is this.”

1:31 Sammy Cox: “No. I don’t want to tell you nothin’.”

1:33 Herman: “Why not?”

1:34 Sammy Cox: “Because you’re a stupid bastard.”

1:36 Herman laughs.

1:39 Sammy Cox: “Hey, did you ever fuck Scott?”

1:40 Herman: “No.”

1:42 Sammy Cox: “And feel his tits while you were fuckin’ him?”

1:44 Herman: “No.”

1:45 Sammy Cox: “He lets you do that.”

1:47 Herman: “Who’s this? I know who’s this.”

1:49 Sammy Cox: “Who is this?”

1:50 Herman: “I know who are you.”

1:52 Sammy Cox: “Well, you say that. But you don’t know shit.”

1:53 Herman: “I know who are you.”

1:55 Sammy Cox: “Who?”

1:56 Herman: “I got you. Bye.”

1:59 Sammy Cox: “Gaspachio. Muy caliente. Fuck you.”

 

Related reading: Food & Drug Complaint – the woke version; Rizzo The Rainmaker; Mining For Scotty – Frank Rizzo.