Herman – Sammy Cox

The Jerky Boys, Album 4

Title: Herman

Characters: Sammy Cox, Herman





0:01 Voice 1: “This episode of The Jerky Boys Show with Johnny Brannen is brought to you by GameFly. Go to gamefly.com/aha for your free 15-day trial. All right there, Twinkle Toes.”

0:12 Phone rings.

0:13 Voice 2: “Hello?”

0:14 Frank Rizzo: “Hello? This is Frank Rizzo.”

0:17 Phone rings.

0:18 Voice 3: “Hello?”

0:19 Sol Rosenberg: “Hello. My name is Sol Rosenberg.”

0:22 Phone rings.

0:23 Voice 4: “Hello?”

0:24 Sol Rosenberg: “No. No. Not Sal. My name is Sol.”

0:27 Voice 5: “Tough guy. Sure I do.”

0:29 Voice 6: “I don’t even know you.”

0:30 Voice 5: “Yes, I do. How you doin’, Fruitcake? I’ll tell you what I do. I’ll come down on my tooth tomorrow. I’ll start work tomorrow.”

0:35 [Music playing]

0:38 Phone rings.

0:42 Herman: “OK. Who is this?”

0:44 Sammy Cox: “Let me speak to Herman.”

0:45 Herman: “This is Herman.”

0:46 Sammy Cox: “Herman?”

0:47 Herman: “Hey.”

0:48 Sammy Cox: “Let me speak to Herman.”

0:49 Herman: “Yeah. Herman.”

0:50 Sammy Cox: “How are you doin’?”

0:51 Herman: “Fine. Thank you.”

0:52 Sammy Cox: “Where’s Station?”

0:54 Herman: “What?”

0:55 Sammy Cox: “Where’s Station? Hello?”

0:58 Herman: “Yes?”

0:58 Sammy Cox: “Yes. You got soup there?”

1:01 Herman: “Yeah.”

1:02 Sammy Cox: “I need a hot cup of soup.”

1:03 Herman: “OK.”

1:04 Sammy Cox: “Hello?”

1:05 Herman: “Come and get it.”

1:07 Sammy Cox: “What do you mean?”

1:08 Herman: “Yeah. We have soup.”

1:10 Sammy Cox: “Yeah. Well, is it hot soup?”

1:11 Herman: “Yeah. Very hot.”

1:12 Sammy Cox: “Well, you gave Station a soup. He spilled it all in my balls.”

1:16 Herman laughs.

1:17 Sammy Cox: “What are you? Fuckin’ laughin’?”

1:19 Herman: “No. You know, I’m just – you know it was hot?”

1:21 Sammy Cox: “Yeah the soup was hot. I know it’s hot. My balls are all burnt off. I ought to know it’s hot.”

1:26 Herman laughs.

1:27 Sammy Cox: “Whats the matter with you?”

1:28 Herman: “I’m sorry, sir.”

1:29 Sammy Cox: “I just sat on a hot spoon.”

1:31 Herman: “Really?”

1:32 Sammy Cox: “Station.”

1:33 Herman: “I’m really sorry.”

1:34 Sammy Cox: “Give me your beard, Station.”

1:35 Herman: “But that…”

1:36 Sammy Cox: “You’re a bastard. You know that?”

1:38 Herman: “I can make soup with that.”

1:40 Sammy Cox: “You’re a fuckin’ jerk.”

1:42 Herman: “How come?”

1:43 Sammy Cox: “Herman.”

1:44 Herman: “What?”

1:45 Sammy Cox: “What are you doin’?”

1:46 Herman: “Ah nothin’. But we’ll see how it goes.”

1:48 Sammy Cox: “Let me ask you something. Do you fuck Scott?”

1:51 Herman: “Oh, no, no. I’m not.”

1:52 Sammy Cox: “Does he have a tight little asshole?”

1:54 Herman: “No. No. He’s my best man. I don’t do that to him. Who’s this?”

1:57 Sammy Cox: “You know Scott’s pussy, he has pussy lips on his ass.”

2:01 Herman: “Who’s this?”

2:03 Sammy Cox: “He can talk with his ass that guy.”

2:05 Herman: “Who’s this?”

2:06 Sammy Cox: “Listen. I’m talkin’ to you.”

2:08 Herman: “Tell me who is this.”

2:10 Sammy Cox: “No. I don’t want to tell you nothin’.”

2:12 Herman: “Why not?”

2:13 Sammy Cox: “Because you’re a stupid bastard.’

2:15 Herman laughs.

2:16 Sammy Cox: “Hey, did you ever fuck Scott?”

2:18 Herman: “No.”

2:19 Sammy Cox: “And feel his tits while you were fuckin’ him?”

2:21 Herman: “No.”

2:22 Sammy Cox: “He lets you do that.”

2:24 Herman: “Who’s this? I know who’s this.”

2:26 Sammy Cox: “Who is this?”

2:27 Herman: “I know who are you.”

2:29 Sammy Cox: “Well, you say that. But you don’t know shit.”

2:31 Herman: “I know who are you.”

2:32 Sammy Cox: “Who?”

2:34 Herman: “I got you. Bye.”

2:36 Sammy Cox: “This is Pancho. Muy caliente. Fuck you.”

2:42 Voice 1: “The sweet Sammy Cox.”