Willie the Jackass

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: Willie the Jackass





0:07 Phone rings…
0:11 Voice 1: “May I help you?”

0:12 Voice 2: “Hello.”

0:13 Voice 1: “Hi.”

0:14 Voice 2: “Yeah, Hi there honey. How you doin? Listen, how do I get a job at the park?”

0:17 Voice 1:  “You’ll have to come in. You know where the park is?”

0:19 Voice 2: “Yeah let me ask you a question first. You know what it is? I want to walk around like one of those costume guys”

0:24 Voice 1: “Well…”

0:25 Voice 2: “You know they wear their silly suits around the park there?

0:28 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

0:29 Voice 2:  “I got a suit. I call it Willie the jackass. I just ride around in his suit and…”

0:32 Voice 1: “No, you’ll have to come in an approved suit by [Inaudible 00:34].”

0:35 Voice 2: “Well, is there a guy I could talk to? With the suit it’s not bad, I’d do it in front of the horse there, you know.”

0:39 Voice 1: “No.”

0:40 Voice 2: “And you’ve ever seen when a dog is crippled, you put his legs down.”

0:42 Voice 1: “This is a family park.”
0:43 Voice 2: “I just drag the other side of the suit around.”

0:45 Voice 1: “This is Stanley park, sir.”

0:46 Voice 2:  “Yeah, well, I’m going to be Willie the jackass in the family park.”

0:49 Voice 1: “No, I’m sorry. Hold on.”

0:55 Voice 3: “Hi, can I help you?”

0:5 6 Voice 1: “Yeah, how you doin? I just spoke to a girl there about going in a costume over there.”

1:01 Voice 3: “Aha.”

1:02 Voice 1: “Is that possible?”

1:03 Voice 3: “The costumes that you can wear in our park are our costumes. You have to audition.”

1:06 Voice 1: “Well, yeah, that’s what I would do. I would probably audition. I’ve worked in several other parks. It’s a very famous little act I do called Willie the jackass. I’m inside a suit.”

1:14 Voice 3: “Yeah, but we can’t have Willie the jackass in our park. It’s not one of our characters.”

1:18 Voice1: “Well, you just see this cute little donkey face and…”

1:20 Voice 3: “Yeah, I know but we only have [Inaudible 01:22] We can’t have anything else.”

1:25 Voice 1: “Those guys are great but I think Willie the jackass really puts a smile on kids’ faces. You know especially, what I do is I drag the ass side of the costume around the park you know because the back legs are crippled. I ain’t got nobody to fill that spot. You know what I mean? So, what do you think?”

1:38    Voice 3: “I don’t think we can use it. I’m sorry. We have to stick with our characters because they are corporate.”

1:43 Voice 1: “I tell you what then. I’ll come down and do a trial. You don’t have to pay me or nothing. Just get one of the kids here to run out and get me [Inaudible 01:49] because I get really high and dry in that suit, you know.”

1:53 Voice 3: “We can’t give you beer either. Sorry. We are not allowed to drink on property.”

1:55 Voice 1: ‘Willie the jackass is drinking. It’s not me.”

1:57 Voice 3: “No, no. I’m sorry.”

1:58 Voice 1: “You won’t see me drinkin. It will be Willie the jackass.”

2:00    Voice 3: “No, We have rules. I’m sorry. Can’t do that”:

2:03    Voice 1: “I’ll tell you what. Can you do me a favor?”

2:04    Voice 3:  “Sure”

2:05    Voice 1: “Can you fill the position I have there, with the back legs being dragged around. Nobody wants to get into the suit with me.”

2:10 Voice 3: “Sorry, I can’t do that either. I’m busy.”

2:12 Voice 1: “C’mon, you and me, we’ll be Willie the jackass.”

2:14 Voice 2: “No, thanks.”

2:15 Voice 1: “Alright then honey.”

2:16 Voice 3: “Thanks for calling.”

2:19     Voice 3 hangs up.

2:20 Laughter.