Uncle Freddie – Jerky Boys Official

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: Uncle Freddie

Characters: Frank Kissel

Summary: 

Kissel calls about a sink at 24 Crescent Street. The water is all over the place. He called four hours ago. His son Anthony gets on the phone. Anthony says Uncle Freddie died. Kissel says the caller is in trouble and threatens to break his legs.

Transcript:

0:01 Phone rings..0:03 Kissel: “Hello there.”

0:03 Voice 1: “Yeah, how you doin’?”

0:04 Kissel: “This is Kissel. What time are you people gonna come over and fix my sink?”

0:12 Voice 1: “I don’t know [Inaudible 00:13].”

0:14 Kissel: “I called you guys about four hours ago to come fix my sink. It’s all over. The water’s all over the place.”

0:23 Voice 1: “Naw, you don’t call here.”

0:25 Kissel: “Of… of course I called you. This is Kissel.”

0:29 Voice 1: “Where you… where you located at?”

0:30 Kissel: “Uh, 24 Crescent Street.”

0:34 Voice 1: “Oh, you’re the one on Crescent Street?”

0:36 Kissel: “Yeah, that’s right. What’s taking you guys?”

0:40 Voice 1: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I told you I’d be there…”

0:42 Kissel: “Oh Jesus Christ! Yeah!”

0:44 Voice 1: “Yeah, I told you I’d be there Wednesday.”

0:47 Kissel: “No, you said Monday.”

0:49 Voice 1: “I said Wednesday.”

0:51 Kissel: “Oh! Now you’re calling me a liar? Wait, hold on. My… maybe my son called?”

0:57 Voice 1: “Naw, I don’t know.”

0:57 Kissel: “Anyway, hold it for a minute. “Anthony!”

1:00 Anthony: “Yes, hello.”

1:01 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:02 Anthony: “Hi. This is uh… this is Frank’s son.”

1:05 Anthony: “What?”

1:05 Anthony: “Frank’s son.”

1:07 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:08 Anthony: “I… I called you last week. I was the guy.”

1:11 Voice 1: “Yeah, but I don’t think I have made any kind of an appointment or anything. As a matter of fact, I think, if I was called correctly, I think I gave you a price and you said you’d come back to me.”

1:20 Anthony: “Yeah.”

1:21 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 01:21].”

1:21 Anthony: “Are you Freddie?”

1:22 Voice 1: “No, I’m not Freddie. [Inaudible 01:23]…”

1:24 Anthony: “Uncle Freddie.”

1:25 Voice 1: “What?”

1:25 Anthony: “Uncle Fred.”

1:27 Voice 1: “Uncle Fred?”

1:28 Anthony: “Yeah.”

1:28 Voice 1: “Who?”

1:29 Anthony: “You.”

1:30 Voice 1: “No.”

1:31 Anthony: “My Uncle Freddie’s not there.”

1:34 Voice 1: “Hey look, there’s no Uncle Fred here and I think… I think you’ve [Inaudible 01: 37] the wrong party.”

1:38 Anthony: “Oh no! Here, talk to my father.”

1:42 Voice 1: “Hello.”

1:42 Anthony: “Uncle Freddie didn’t die. He said Uncle Freddie died!”

1:46 Kissel: “Uncle Freddie died?”

1:49 Kissel: “Oh my goodness.”

1:52 Kissel: “Uncle Freddie died.”

1:59 Kissel: “You’re in trouble now.”

2:02 Kissel: “I’m gonna break your fuckin’ legs.”

2:04 Kissel: “You killed Uncle Freddie.”

2:07 Kissel: “They killed Uncle Freddie.”

2:10 Kissel: “They killed him.”

2:14 Voice 1: “Whoa, whoa, whoa.”

2:16 Voice 1: “Who said anything?”

2:18 Voice 1: “Do you know what you’re talking about?”

2:23 Kissel: “What is wrong with you?”

2:26 Kissel: “Where’s Uncle Freddie?”

2:27 Voice 1: “Who the hell knows Uncle Freddie?”

2:29 Voice 1: “You got the wrong party, I think, buddy.”

2:33 Kissel: “You want to kill me, right?”

2:37 Kissel: “You want to kill me now?”

2:40 Kissel: “This is Kissel.”

2:41 Voice 1: “I don’t know no Kissel.”

2:43 Voice 1: “I’m sorry.”

2:44 Voice 1: “All right, all right, all right.”

Uncle Freddie – Frank Kissel

Kamal is Kissel. This is not Frank Rizzo. Kissel wants the sink fixed. Anthony is the son. Kissel thinks Uncle Freddie died.