Gay Hard Hat

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: Gay Hard Hat

Characters: Jack Tors



0:00 Phone rings..
0:01 Voice 1: “May I help you?”

0:02 Jack: “Yes, I’m calling about the helper job, construction helper.”

0:06 Voice 1: “Okay.”

0:07 Jack: “Yes.”

0:07 Voice 1: “Umm… your name please.”

0:09 Jack: “My name is Jack Tors.”

0:13 Voice 1: “Tors, okay. How many years experience do you have?”

0:18 Jack: “Several… I have several.”

0:22 Voice 1: “Alright. The position has been filled, but we’ll take in names and phone numbers in case.”

0:26 Jack: “Okay. Well, take mine because I’m good.”

0:28 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:28].’

0:28 Jack: “Well, what happened… you see, what happened to me… on the last site I worked on, these guys started to become very offensive toward me and throwing bricks and blocked down on top of me and I don’t go that way. You know what I’m sayin’?”

0:42 Voice 1: “Um-hmm. They started throwing things at you?”

0:43 Jack: “Yes because of certain reasons, you know, I used to wear little shorts on the job and whatnot and they would fire bricks and little pipes and bottles of beer at me and whatnot.”

0:52 Voice 1: “Yeah. Uh, alright. Let me have your phone number.”

0:55 Jack: “Do you know what I’m saying?”

0:56 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

0:56 Jack: “So you fit me in there and I swear it’ll go well.”

1:00 Voice 1: “Okay. You available right away?”

1:01 Jack: “Uh! Well, it depends on my schedule. On a busy day [Inaudible 01:04] well.”

1:05 Voice 1: “Right.”

1:05 Jack: “Now what’s this with the plastic? I see plastic. What do mean plastic:”

1:10 Voice 1: “Plaster.”

1:11 Jack: “Oh! Well, it says plastic here because I was good at that. I used to wrap my friends in plastic and beat them with a stick for a nightclub gig.”

1:18 Voice 1: ‘Uh-huh.”

1:19 Jack: “Oh, it was great.”

1:20 Voice 1: “Alright, your phone number?”

1:21 Jack: “Okay. It’s [Honk-honk] 2…”

1:23 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

1:23 Jack: “Seven eight three nine.”

1:25 Voice 1: “Okay. Thank you for calling.”

1:26 Jack: “Oh, okay. Bye.”

1:27 Voice 1: “Yeah, bye.”