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The Gay Model

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: The Gay Model

Characters: Crystal 

Summary:

In this classic Jerky Boys prank call skit, Crystal receives a phone call from an eccentric individual claiming to be interested in a modeling opportunity. At first, the conversation seems normal, as the caller enthusiastically describes his supposed talents and experience. Crystal listens politely and attempts to guide the discussion toward scheduling a meeting.

However, the situation quickly becomes absurd when the caller begins describing extremely unusual and exaggerated “talents” that make little sense in the context of modeling. His descriptions become increasingly bizarre, leaving Crystal confused yet strangely amused by the entire interaction.

Despite the strange claims, Crystal continues to maintain a polite and professional tone while trying to clarify what the caller actually intends to demonstrate. The caller, meanwhile, insists that his unique abilities will impress the agency and repeatedly mentions wanting to meet someone important in the organization.

As the conversation escalates, the humor builds through the contrast between Crystal’s attempts to keep the conversation grounded and the caller’s increasingly ridiculous statements. The dialogue becomes more surreal as the caller proudly describes outrageous acts that he believes qualify him as a model.

Eventually, the two attempt to arrange a meeting, though Crystal remains skeptical about what exactly she will encounter. The call ends with the caller confirming the address while Crystal is left reflecting on the strange encounter she just experienced.

The skit perfectly captures the signature comedic style of The Jerky Boys, combining awkward conversations, exaggerated characters, and unpredictable dialogue that leaves listeners laughing at the absurdity.

Transcript:

0:00 Phone rings.0:01 Crystal: “Hello.”

0:02 Voice 1: “Hello, Crystal.”

0:03 Crystal: “Who’s this?”

0:04 Voice 1: “Uhh, this is a friend. Listen, I was told to call you…”

0:07 Crystal: “Okay.”

0:08 Voice 1: “…for a modeling job.”

0:09 Crystal: “Yes.”

0:10 Voice 1: “I wanna show you my goods.”

0:12 Crystal: “You will need to…”

0:14 Voice 1: “Yes, I want to come in and just give it all. I want to show you what I’m  capable of.”

0:17 Crystal: “Oh, excellent! Really fantastic! Why don’t you just come in, okay? I’ll give you the address. Uh, how tall are you?”

0:25 Voice 1: “Pardon?”

0:26 Crystal: “How tall are you?

0:26 Voice 1: “Oh, I’m approximately 6 feet 1.”

0:29 Crystal: “Oh, wow! Excellent! Have you ever done runway?”

0:32 Voice 1: “Uh, runway is just old hat to me, sweetheart.”

0:35 Crystal: “Laughter… ahh!”

0:37 Voice 1: “Let me… let me tell you what I really do. I soak myself in lamp oil, and then I burn myself in front of the crowd.”

0:46: Crystal: “Oh.”

0:46 Voice 1: “It works.”

0:47 Crystal: “I…”

0:47 Voice 1: “Honey, listen. It works.”

0:49 Crystal: “Gonna be appropriate, I mean.”

0:50 Voice 1: “Oh, it’s appropriate.”

0:51 Crystal: “[Inaudible 00:51].”

0:52 Voice 1: “People love it. The people love it.”

0:55 Crystal: “Have you… how many times have you…?”

0:57 Voice 1: “Well, I’ve burned myself several times. I’m only scared about the face, breast, chest, neck, and head. It’s not too bad, but… umm, other than that, I look fine. A little makeup conceals everything.”

1:10 Crystal: “Well, uh.”

1:11 Voice 1: “Look, I have other acts too.”

1:12 Crystal: “Uh! Listen, why don’t I put you on hold for a second?”

1:15 Voice 1: “Hurry up.”

1:17 Laughter in the background.

1:21 Crystal: “Hello.”

1:22 Voice 1: “Yes. It’s…”

1:23 Crystal: “Burn man?”

1:23 Voice 1: “Crystal?”

1:24 Crystal: “Are you the burn man?”

1:25 Voice 1: “Yes.”

1:26 Crystal: “Oh, okay.”

1:27 Voice 1: “Listen to me.”

1:28 Crystal: “Yes.”

1:29 Voice 1: “I have other little… the… little tricks I do, trinkets and whatnot. I jump around with dogs on the stage. I bring a little chipmunk in, and a little monkey, and I beat him senseless in front of the crowd. They love that. I put a little ballerina skirt on the monkey, and I beat him into oblivion. The crowd seems to love this.”

1:48 Crystal: “Oh!”

1:49 Voice 1: “Okay. Where can we go with this?”

1:51 Crystal: “Okay, does that have…”

1:52 Voice 1: “Show me.”

1:53 Crystal: “[Inaudible 01:53].”

1:53 Voice 1: “Talk to me, you silly little freak.”

1:55 Crystal: “Why don’t you just come in to the [Inaudible 01:57] and maybe we can see it in person, and we could discuss it.”

2:00 Voice 1: “Okay. Umm… also I’m …I’m known very, very well for pulling large pieces of furniture from my ass.”

2:08 Crystal: Laughs hysterically.

2:10 Crystal: “From your ass?”

2:11 Laughter in the background.

2:12 Voice 1: “Yes. I’ve been… I’ve been doing it for years. I’m the best. I… see, I could bring you…”

2:17 Crystal: “[Inaudible 02:17]…”

2:17 Voice 1: “I could…”

2:18 Crystal: “…large furniture out of his ass.”

2:21 Laughter

2:22 Voice 1: “Honey, would you just give me the chance?”

2:24 Crystal: “Okay, I’ll…”

2:25 Voice 1: “Let me come down there and go nuts. I will freak you out.”

2:28 Crystal: “Oh, I know you’ll freak me [Inaudible 02:30], and you’re freaking me over the phone. Just imagine in person!”

2:33 Voice 1: “Oh, ho! I’d do something when I see you, honey, that you wouldn’t believe.”

2:36 Crystal: Giggles.

2:37 Voice 1: “Is Ronaldo around?”

2:39 Crystal: “Who?”

2:39 Voice 1: “Ronaldo.”

2:40 Crystal: “Ronaldo?”

2:41 Voice 1: “I want to show him my toolbox.”

2:44 Crystal: “No. It’s Elon, Elon [Inaudible 02:46]. You have to show Elon, not Ronaldo.”

2:48 Voice 1: “Oh! Well, I’d show it…”

2:49 Crystal: “We don’t have a Ronaldo.”

2:49 Voice 1: “Let me tell you something. I’d show it to Elon in a big way, honey.”

2:53 Crystal: “Or we have Brett Weir here, so…”

2:55 Voice 1: “Who… Brett Weir? What is that?”

2:57 Crystal: “[Inaudible 02:57]… maybe you can see him.”

2:59 Voice 1: “Ooh! I would love to see him silly.”

3:01 Crystal: “Okay.”

3:01 Voice 1: “Okay, listen. I’ll be down as soon as possible, sweetie cakes.’

3:04 Crystal: “Okay, you have the address.”

3:06 Voice 1: “Okay.”

3:06 Crystal: “Okay.”

3:07 Voice 1: “See you later, jellyfin.”

3:08 Crystal: “You have the address.”

3:09 Voice 1: “Okay. I have it. Thank you.”

3:11 Crystal: “Okay. Thank you.”

3:11 Voice 1: “Okay, bye-bye.”

Who Are the Jerky Boys?

The Jerky Boys were created by Johnny Brennan and Kamal Ahmed in Queens, New York. They first gained underground fame in the late 1980s and early 1990s through self-released cassette tapes featuring raw, unscripted prank calls. Their breakthrough came with the albums The Jerky Boys (1993) and The Jerky Boys 2 (1994), which sold millions by delivering genuine chaos: voices improvised in real time, unsuspecting victims caught completely off guard, and no safety nets or scripts to fall back on.

The Gay Model: A Classic Jerky Boys Comedy Skit

The Jerky Boys became famous for their legendary prank calls, turning ordinary phone conversations into unforgettable comedy moments. One of the memorable sketches from their collection is “The Gay Model,” a skit that highlights the group’s unique ability to create humor through unexpected and bizarre situations.

In this skit, the comedy unfolds through a phone call that starts with a simple modeling inquiry but quickly transforms into a surreal and hilarious exchange. The humor lies not only in the caller’s strange claims but also in Crystal’s genuine attempts to understand what is happening.

The Comedy Style Behind the Skit

The success of The Jerky Boys lies in their distinctive prank call format. Rather than relying on traditional scripted comedy, their humor emerges naturally from spontaneous conversations and exaggerated personalities.

“The Gay Model” demonstrates several elements that made their recordings so popular:

  • Unpredictable dialogue that keeps listeners guessing
  • Outlandish characters with exaggerated personalities
  • Awkward yet hilarious interactions between callers and unsuspecting participants
  • Escalating absurdity that builds comedic tension throughout the call

These elements combine to create a memorable listening experience that continues to entertain fans years after the original release.

Crystal’s Role in the Skit

Crystal plays an essential role in the comedy of this sketch. As the person answering the phone, she attempts to maintain professionalism while responding to the caller’s increasingly strange descriptions.

Her reactions help ground the conversation, which makes the caller’s outrageous claims even funnier. Instead of immediately ending the call, she tries to steer the conversation toward something practical, such as scheduling a meeting.

This contrast between professional politeness and comedic absurdity is what makes the interaction particularly entertaining.

Why The Skit Still Stands Out

Even years after its release, “The Gay Model” remains a fan favorite because it captures the essence of prank call comedy. The humor doesn’t rely on complicated setups or elaborate jokes. Instead, it comes from the natural unpredictability of human conversation.

Listeners enjoy the moment-to-moment surprises as the caller’s claims become more ridiculous and Crystal struggles to process what she is hearing.

This kind of comedy helped establish The Jerky Boys as pioneers of prank call entertainment and inspired many similar formats in radio and online comedy.

The Cultural Impact of Jerky Boys Prank Calls

Prank call comedy became extremely popular during the 1990s, and The Jerky Boys were among the most recognizable names in the genre. Their recordings reached a wide audience and influenced comedians, radio personalities, and online creators.

Their sketches often revolve around unusual characters making strange requests or claims, leading to unpredictable conversations that feel authentic and unscripted.

“The Gay Model” fits perfectly within this tradition, showcasing the group’s ability to transform a simple phone call into a comedic scenario filled with unexpected twists.

Listen to the Skit and Relive the Chaos

If you’re new to The Jerky Boys, start with timeless classics like “Dental Malpractice” or “Terrorist Pizza.” Then explore more Frank Rizzo highlights — from auto shops and restaurants to college admissions offices in later material.

At their best, the Jerky Boys prove that the funniest comedy often comes from relentlessly pushing the boundaries of politeness until they shatter. Frank Rizzo demanding leg braces from a dentist? That’s not merely a prank call — it’s comedy legend.