Testing For Jeopardy – Frank Rizzo

The Jerky Boys, vol 4 album

Title: Testing For Jeopardy

Characters: Frank Rizzo



0:01 Phone rings…

0:04 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:05 Willy: “Yes.”

0:05 Voice 1: “Yeah. How you doin’?”

0:06 Willy: “I’m fine.”

0:07 Voice 1: “What’s up there?”

0:08 Willy: “I’m calling about the ad for the game show lovers.”

0:10 Voice 1: “Yeah. Game show lovers? What’s that game show lovers? What are you talkin’ about game show lover?”

0:14 Willy: “This says announcing application for all TV game shows.”

0:18 Voice 1: “Yeah. Well, that doesn’t mean lover, right? It doesn’t say lover.”

0:22 Willy: “Well, that’s what it says in the ad.”

0:23 Voice 1: “Nah. It shouldn’t say lover because I didn’t print the word fuckin’ lover. That sounds like pussy shit to me. What are you lookin’ for?”

0:29 Willy: “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to upset you.”

0:31 Voice 1: “Listen. I’m castin’ for game shows. You understand?”

0:33 Willy: “Yes.”

0:34 Voice 1: “I put you in your favorite game show. What show you like?”

0:36 Willy: “Jeopardy.”

0:37 Voice 1: “You like jeopardy. How good are at that shit?”

0:39 Willy: “I’m pretty good.”

0:40 Voice 1: “I love to jeopardy, babe. You know you remember that fuckin’ song? It was big in the 80s.”

0:45 Willy: “Excuse me.”

0:46 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:00:46]. Are you kiddin’ me? I’m askin’ you about a song. You don’t even know that. You want to go on jeopardy. You got to be highly skilled for these fuckin’ shows. You understand that?”

0:54 Willy: “Yeah, I do understand.”

0:55 Voice 1: Are you well-versed there? Are you a very smart man?”

0:58 Willy: “Yes, I am.”

0:59 Voice 1: “All right. Hit me with some funny shit. Tell me something.”

1:05 Willy: “Exactly what?”

1:06 Voice 1: “Well, let’s see. How many pitter in pat?”

1:11 Willy: “Can you repeat that question again?”

1:14 Voice 1: “What do you got? Corn cobs between your ears, son?”

1:16 Willy: “No, I do not.”

1:17 Voice 1: “All right. How many pits are in a pat?”

1:21 Willy: “Two.”

1:22 Voice 1: “You know damn well there’s much more than two pits in a pat. Sir?”

1:26 Willy: “Yes.”

1:27 Voice 1: “Are you interested in game shows or not?”

1:28 Willy: “Yes, I am.”

1:29 Voice 1: “What’s the difference between an apple and a peach?”

1:32 Willy: “It all depends on where they grow in?”

1:33 Voice 1: “Wrong. Because they both have pits, sir. That’s the answer.”

1:38 Willy: “Yeah.”