Sol’s Glasses

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: Sol’s Glasses

Characters: Sol Rosenberg



0:00 Phone rings..
0:01 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:02 Sol Rosenberg: “Hello.”

0:02 Voice 1: “Yes?”

0:03 Sol Rosenberg: “Yes, I bought glasses there. My name is Sol Rosenberg.”

0:05 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:06 Sol Rosenberg: “And my eyes are going crazy.”

0:09 Voice 1: “Okay, let me pull your record card. Hold on please.”

0:11 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay, thank you.”

0:15 Voice 1: “Mr. Rosenberg, I don’t have a record card on you. Where did you buy your glasses? You sure it was here?”

0:19 Sol Rosenberg: “Yes, I did and… do you wear glasses?”

0:22 Voice 1: “No, where did you buy ’em?”

0:24 Sol Rosenberg: “Uh, at your place there.”

0:25 Voice 1: “What address did you go to?”

0:27 Sol Rosenberg: “It’s… it’s the one right in the city there. I don’t quite remember.”

0:30 Voice 1: “Well, there’s a lot in the city and sometimes you can get confused. I don’t have a record card on you. How long ago did you buy it here?”

0:35 Sol Rosenberg: “About four days and my eyes is going crazy.”

0:38 Voice 1: “Hey Mr. Rosenberg, I don’t believe you bought it at this office because I’m the only one here. I don’t wear glasses and if it was four days ago, I… I would have remembered you and I don’t and I don’t have a record card on you. Did you go to the…”

0:53 Sol Rosenberg: “I…”

0:53 Voice 1: “…Empire State Building?”

0:53 Sol Rosenberg: “I… I went… I went to the Empire State Buildin’ and I can’t see so good.”

0:58 Voice 1: “So… so you went to see Dr. [Inaudible 01:00]?”

1:00 Sol Rosenberg: “Yeah, but he’s an asshole. I couldn’t see so good from the Empire State Buildin’.”

1:04 Voice 1: “When would you like to make an appointment and come in and see us?”

1:06 Sol Rosenberg: “I went to the observatory but ’cos of these glasses, I can’t see goddammit!”

1:11 Voice 1: “Okay, would you like to come in and see us?”

1:13 Sol Rosenberg: “Sure.”

1:14 Voice 1: “Okay. We’re at 30 East 60th Street.”

1:17 Sol Rosenberg: “Thirty-five, 78th Street. Okay.”

1:19 Voice 1: “No, no, no. we’re 30… 30, three zero.”

1:23 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay.”

1:24 Voice 1: “East 60th Street.”

1:25 Sol Rosenberg: “Alright. Should I bring all my glasses with me?”

1:27 Voice 1: “No. Do you need an examination?”

1:29 Sol Rosenberg: “And all my glasses.”

1:30 Voice 1: “Mr. Rosenberg, do you need an examination?”

1:32 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay.”

1:33 Voice 1: “Do you need an examination?”

1:35 Sol Rosenberg: “Alright.”

1:35 Voice 1: “Yeah, alright. You need an appointment.”

1:38 Sol Rosenberg: “Right and sh… I’ll bring all my shoes and my… my glasses with me… so I have them.”

1:45 Voice 1: “Mr. Rosenberg.”

1:46 Sol Rosenberg: “Sure.”

1:47 Voice 1: “Do you need… do you want to see the ophthalmologist?”

1:49 Sol Rosenberg: “Right.”

1:51 Voice 1: “Do you need an appointment?”

1:52 Sol Rosenberg: “I’m sorry.”

1:53 Voice 1: “Do you need an appointment?”

1:54 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay.”

1:55 Voice 1: “Okay, hold on. I’ll have my girl make an appointment for you to see the doctor. Okay, do you have the address?”

2:01 Sol Rosenberg: “Fantastic then.”

2:02 Voice 1: “You have the address?”

2:03 Sol Rosenberg: “Yes.”

2:04 Voice 1: “Let’s see.  What road?”

2:06 Sol Rosenberg: “Uh, four… I… I don’t know. You said 35-8-7?”

2:10 Voice 1: “No, 30 East 60th Street.”

2:13 Sol Rosenberg: “Thirty East 60th Street, okay. Thank you.”

2:15 Voice 1: “Oh, you need an appointment. Hold on.”

2:17 Sol Rosenberg: “Right.”

2:18 Voice 1: “Barbara.” Background noise.

2:19 Barbara: “Hello.”

2:20 Sol Rosenberg: “Hello.”

2:21 Barbara: “Hello.”

2:21 Sol Rosenberg: “Barbara?”

2:22 Barbara: “Yes, sir. I have to make an appointment with you sir. When would you like to come in?”

2:28 Sol Rosenberg: “Whenever you want me to honey… whatever’s good for you.”

2:32 Barbara: “Uh, you want to come in tomorrow?”

2:34 Sol Rosenberg: “Sure, if you’re free.”

2:36 Barbara: “Yes, okay. You can come in at… uh, 12 o’clock.”

2:39 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay, honey baby. Alright?”

2:43 Barbara: “Yes.”

2:44 Sol Rosenberg: “Thank you sweetheart.”

2:46 Barbara: “You’re welcome.”

2: 47 Sol Rosenberg: “Bye-bye.”