Sol’s Glasses

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: Sol’s Glasses

Characters: Sol Rosenberg

Summary: In this skit, Sol Rosenberg calls an eyeglass store to complain about his glasses causing problems with his eyesight. The person on the other end tries to assist but cannot find Rosenberg’s records. As the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear that Rosenberg might have mistaken the store and instead went to the Empire State Building for his glasses. Despite the confusion, Rosenberg agrees to make an appointment and visits the eyeglass store the next day. Throughout the conversation, Rosenberg’s scattered thoughts and confusion lead to a humorous exchange, culminating in an appointment set for the following day at 12 o’clock. The interaction is filled with misunderstandings, miscommunications, and Rosenberg’s quirky personality, creating a comedic scenario.


0:00 Phone rings.

0:01 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:02 Sol Rosenberg: “Hello.”

0:02 Voice 1: “Yes?”

0:03 Sol Rosenberg: “Yes, I bought glasses there. My name is Sol Rosenberg.”

0:05 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:06 Sol Rosenberg: “And my eyes are going crazy.”

0:09 Voice 1: “Okay, let me pull your record card. Hold on please.”

0:11 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay, thank you.”

0:15 Voice 1: “Mr. Rosenberg, I don’t have a record card on you. Where did you buy your glasses? You sure it was here?”

0:19 Sol Rosenberg: “Yes, I did and… do you wear glasses?”

0:22 Voice 1: “No, where did you buy ’em?”

0:24 Sol Rosenberg: “Uh, at your place there.”

0:25 Voice 1: “What address did you go to?”

0:27 Sol Rosenberg: “It’s… it’s the one right in the city there. I don’t quite remember.”

0:30 Voice 1: “Well, there’s a lot in the city and sometimes you can get confused. I don’t have a record card on you. How long ago did you buy it here?”

0:35 Sol Rosenberg: “About four days and my eyes is going crazy.”

0:38 Voice 1: “Hey Mr. Rosenberg, I don’t believe you bought it at this office because I’m the only one here. I don’t wear glasses and if it was four days ago, I… I would have remembered you and I don’t and I don’t have a record card on you. Did you go to the…”

0:53 Sol Rosenberg: “I…”

0:53 Voice 1: “…Empire State Building?”

0:53 Sol Rosenberg: “I… I went… I went to the Empire State Buildin’ and I can’t see so good.”

0:58 Voice 1: “So… so you went to see Dr. [Inaudible 01:00]?”

1:00 Sol Rosenberg: “Yeah, but he’s an asshole. I couldn’t see so good from the Empire State Buildin’.”

1:04 Voice 1: “When would you like to make an appointment and come in and see us?”

1:06 Sol Rosenberg: “I went to the observatory but ’cos of these glasses, I can’t see goddammit!”

1:11 Voice 1: “Okay, would you like to come in and see us?”

1:13 Sol Rosenberg: “Sure.”

1:14 Voice 1: “Okay. We’re at 30 East 60th Street.”

1:17 Sol Rosenberg: “Thirty-five, 78th Street. Okay.”

1:19 Voice 1: “No, no, no. we’re 30… 30, three zero.”

1:23 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay.”

1:24 Voice 1: “East 60th Street.”

1:25 Sol Rosenberg: “Alright. Should I bring all my glasses with me?”

1:27 Voice 1: “No. Do you need an examination?”

1:29 Sol Rosenberg: “And all my glasses.”

1:30 Voice 1: “Mr. Rosenberg, do you need an examination?”

1:32 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay.”

1:33 Voice 1: “Do you need an examination?”

1:35 Sol Rosenberg: “Alright.”

1:35 Voice 1: “Yeah, alright. You need an appointment.”

1:38 Sol Rosenberg: “Right and sh… I’ll bring all my shoes and my… my glasses with me… so I have them.”

1:45 Voice 1: “Mr. Rosenberg.”

1:46 Sol Rosenberg: “Sure.”

1:47 Voice 1: “Do you need… do you want to see the ophthalmologist?”

1:49 Sol Rosenberg: “Right.”

1:51 Voice 1: “Do you need an appointment?”

1:52 Sol Rosenberg: “I’m sorry.”

1:53 Voice 1: “Do you need an appointment?”

1:54 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay.”

1:55 Voice 1: “Okay, hold on. I’ll have my girl make an appointment for you to see the doctor. Okay, do you have the address?”

2:01 Sol Rosenberg: “Fantastic then.”

2:02 Voice 1: “You have the address?”

2:03 Sol Rosenberg: “Yes.”

2:04 Voice 1: “Let’s see.  What road?”

2:06 Sol Rosenberg: “Uh, four… I… I don’t know. You said 35-8-7?”

2:10 Voice 1: “No, 30 East 60th Street.”

2:13 Sol Rosenberg: “Thirty East 60th Street, okay. Thank you.”

2:15 Voice 1: “Oh, you need an appointment. Hold on.”

2:17 Sol Rosenberg: “Right.”

2:18 Voice 1: “Barbara.” Background noise.

2:19 Barbara: “Hello.”

2:20 Sol Rosenberg: “Hello.”

2:21 Barbara: “Hello.”

2:21 Sol Rosenberg: “Barbara?”

2:22 Barbara: “Yes, sir. I have to make an appointment with you sir. When would you like to come in?”

2:28 Sol Rosenberg: “Whenever you want me to honey… whatever’s good for you.”

2:32 Barbara: “Uh, you want to come in tomorrow?”

2:34 Sol Rosenberg: “Sure, if you’re free.”

2:36 Barbara: “Yes, okay. You can come in at… uh, 12 o’clock.”

2:39 Sol Rosenberg: “Okay, honey baby. Alright?”

2:43 Barbara: “Yes.”

2:44 Sol Rosenberg: “Thank you sweetheart.”

2:46 Barbara: “You’re welcome.”

2: 47 Sol Rosenberg: “Bye-bye.”

Sol Rosenberg Jerky Boys

In the skit “Sol’s Glasses” from The Jerky Boys’ album, Sol Rosenberg calls a glasses store complaining about his recent purchase. Sol claims his eyes are “going crazy” after buying glasses from the store. However, the person on the other end cannot locate any record of Sol’s purchase in their system. Despite efforts to assist Sol, he confuses the store with other locations, including the Empire State Building, frustrating the employee further.

Sol continuously misunderstands the address, prompting the employee to schedule an appointment for him. Sol’s confusion persists as he offers to bring all his glasses and shoes to the appointment. Amidst the chaos, a colleague named Barbara helps set up an appointment for Sol, who casually agrees to visit the next day at noon, expressing gratitude in a quirky, endearing manner.

The skit showcases Sol’s comedic confusion and persistent misunderstandings, leading to a humorous exchange between him and the increasingly bewildered store employee.