Car Salesman
The Jerky Boys, album 1
Title: Car Salesman
Characters: Paul Rizzo
Summary:
Transcript:
0:00 Phone rings..
0:01 Voice 1: “Hello.”
0:02 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah, where’s Paul?”
0:04 Voice 1: “Who’s… who’s calling?”
0:05 Paul Rizzo: “I’m calling about the job, salesperson.”
0:07 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:07].”
0:10 Paul: “Hello.”
0:11 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah, Paul?”
0:12 Paul: “Speaking.”
0:12 Paul Rizzo: “What do you need me to sell babe?”
0:14 Paul: “Excuse me.”
0:14 Paul Rizzo: “What do you need me to sell? I’m calling about the salesperson job?”
0:17 Paul: “What do I need you to sell?”
0:18 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah. Sell cars? What’s the story here?”
0:21 Paul: “You sell cars?”
0:21 Paul Rizzo: “You got it.”
0:22 Paul: “Where do you sell ’em?”
0:23 Paul Rizzo: “I sell them up in Middletown, Upstate New York. I had a little problem over there though. That’s somethin’ I don’t want to talk about.”
0:29 Paul: “Middletown?”
0:29 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah.”
0:30 Paul: “Okay. What’s your name?”
0:32 Paul Rizzo: “Paul, Paul Rizzo.”
0:34 Paul: “Paul what?”
0:34 Paul Rizzo: “Paul Rizzo.”
0:35 Paul: “Rizzo?”
0:35 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah.”
0:36 Paul: “Where do you live?”
0:37 Paul Rizzo: “I live upstate.”
0:39 Paul: “Okay. That’s a long way from…”
0:42 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah. Well, you know, for some people maybe.”
0:44 Paul: “Okay.”
0:45 Paul Rizzo: “Let’s talk about sellin’ cars Paul.”
0:47 Paul: “Okay.”
0:48 Paul Rizzo: “What do you… I could sell… whatever you need sold, I’ll sell. You could bring in a tank, I’ll sell the fuckin’ thing.”
0:54 Paul: “Yeah, how far away do you live though?”
0:56 Paul Rizzo: “About 60 miles.”
0:58 Paul: “Sixty miles.”
0:58 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah. Don’t worry about it. I’m there early every day.”
1:01 Paul: “I am wor… I am worried about mileage on the car.”
1:03 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll use my own car Paul.”
1:04 Paul: “Okay.”
1:05 Paul Rizzo: “I drive it silly, silly.”
1;08 Paul: “And why do you want to drive 60 miles to go to work?”
1:09 Paul Rizzo: “Hey. That’s my business. Are you… you want to sell cars through me or what? See, I had problems up there in Middletown. I gotta get the hell out of that area. I grabbed some guy. He’s a, you know, like he don’t know if he wants to buy. I… I push his face right in the fuckin’ hood, you know…. tell, “You buy this fuckin’ car or I’ll break your fuckin’ head.” I had problems over there Paul.” ’
1:30 Paul: “Well, it sounds like [Inaudible 01:31] problems anywhere.”
1:32 Paul Rizzo: “Ahh!
1:33 Paul: Laughter.
1:34 Paul Rizzo: “You know, so at times these fuckers they gotta buy. I need… you know I need dough like anyone. So what do you think? We got somethin’ goin’ here or what?’
1:40 Paul: “I don’t know. I don’t want that kind of operation.”
1:42 Paul Rizzo: “Ahh, you see. Here we’re off to a bad start, you know.”
1:46 Paul: “But I don’t want that kind of operation.”
1:48 Paul Rizzo: “Ahh! We’ll see. Well, I could tone it down a bit you know, maybe choke a few people here and there. That’s about it.”
1:53 Paul: Laughter.
1:54 Paul Rizzo: “Hey, it works. You think it’s funny? It works. I sell.”
1:56 Paul: “Yeah, but I don’t run that kind of operation.”
1:58 Paul Rizzo: “Yeah, I’m silly. I’m tellin’ you. I’m silly.”
2:01 Paul: “Yeah. I don’t run that kind of operation.”
2:02 Paul Rizzo: “Ahh!”
2:03 Paul: “In fact salesmen don’t even quote prices here.”
2:05 Paul Rizzo: “Ahh, let me try somewhere else then, okay.”
2:06 Paul: “Alrighty.”
2:07 Paul Rizzo: “Alright. See you then later nitz.”
2:08 Paul: “Okay.”
2:09 Paul Rizzo: “Right.”