The Flower Lady, #1
The Jerky Tapes (Album 6)
Title: The Flower Lady #1
Characters:
Summary:
The skit portrays a comedic and confusing series of phone calls involving Deborah, attempting to reach Harry Getzov. She faces persistent interruptions, unclear connections, and various individuals who continually redirect her to different people, particularly Harry’s son, Scott. Deborah’s purpose is to discuss sending a contract and flowers, only to discover Harry’s passing due to a kite-flying accident.
Despite her repeated attempts to clarify and connect with specific individuals like Harry’s fiancée, the mortician, or Scott, the conversations remain tangled and ineffective. Each time she seeks clarification or tries to end the call, she’s urged to speak with Scott, the supposed person handling matters.
The skit ends with the persistence of the chaotic phone calls, leaving Deborah frustrated and unable to accomplish her intended communication about the contract and floral arrangements due to the persistent redirection and lack of clear communication. The comedic element arises from the absurdity of the continuous redirection and confusion surrounding Harry’s unfortunate demise during a kite-flying accident, creating a ludicrous cycle of communication breakdowns.
Transcript:
0:01 Voice 1: “Hello. Hello.”
0:03 Deborah: “Hello. I called…”
0:04 Voice 1: “Miss, can you hang on. Hang on.”
0:06 Deborah: “Yes, I can hang on. I don’t have the [Inaudible 00:08].”
0:09 Background noise
0:21 Voice not clear
0:22 Deborah: “Hello.”
0:23 Voice not clear
0:25 Voice 1: “Hello.”
0:26 Deborah: “Hello.”
0:27 Voice 1: “Please hold.”
0:31 Background noise
0:41 Voice not clear
0:44 Voice 1: “Hello.”
0:45 Deborah: “Yes, hello. I want…”
0:46 Voice 1: “They’re doing some work on my apartment. Can… just one second more.”
0:49 Deborah: “Is this Harry?”
0:50 Voice 1: “I’m sorry. Just one…”
0:51 Deborah: “Hello. Is this Harry?”
0:52 Voice 1: “One second… one second.”
0:56 Background noise
1:07 Voice 1: “Hello.”
1:07 Deborah: “Hello.”
1:09 Voice 1: “Hello.”
1:10 Deborah: “I don’t understand. I was calling for Harry Getzov.”
1:12 Voice 1: “Yes, he’s here. Hold one second please.”
1:17 Background noise
1:21 Phone rings..
1:23 Deborah: “I’m trying to… I don’t… he asked me to send the contract and I don’t know. Hello.”
1:26 Phone rings..
1:28 Deborah: “Hello.”
1:28 Scott: “Hello.”
1:29 Deborah: “Hello.”
1:30 Scott: “Hello.”
1:33 Background noise
1:35 Scott: “Hello. Crazy world!”
1:38 Deborah: “Hello.”
1:41 Voice 1: “Hello.”
1:41 Deborah: “Yeah. I’m call…”
1:43 Scott: “Hello.”
1:44 Deborah: “Who is this please?”
1:45 Background noise
1:49 Voice 1: “Hello.”
1:51 Deborah: “Yeah, I’m calling from [Inaudible 01:52] Floral Design. I was calling for… hello?”
1:54 Voice 3: “Who is this?’
1:51 Voice 1: “Yes, go ahead.”
1:59 Deborah: “Who am I speaking with please? I don’t… I don’t need to be rude, but I called before. It’s busy. I am calling for Harry Getzov.”
2:05 Voice 4: “Who do you think you are speaking like that?”
2:07 Deborah: “I’m not… I [Inaudible 02:10]… I’m calling for Harry Getzov. I was calling to fax him over a contract.”
2:17 Voice 1: “Well, his… his… his son Scott is on the line.”
2:22 Deborah: “Whose son?”
2:23 Voice 1: “Scott will help you.”
2:25 Deborah: “I don’t think you understand. I am calling to fax him over, but I don’t understand [Inaudible 02:29].”
2:29 Scott: “What’s the fax about?”
2:30 Deborah: “Do I have the right number?”
2:33 Voice 1: “Scott.”
2:34 Deborah: “Who’s…?”
2:35 Scott: “Well, how can I help you?”
2:37 Deborah: “I’m… I was… I’m calling, but they… I’m calling because he asked me to call him back about the flowers and so I’m doing that and I would just like to speak to Harry.”
2:48 Voice 1: “Hello.”
2:49 Voice 4: “Yeah. What do you mean by that?”
2:52 Deborah: “By what?”
2:52 Voice 4: “Harry’s been dead for weeks. You insensitive person!”
2:56 Deborah: “Uh, thank you. Hello.”
2:59 Voice 1: “Scott, his son, will help you.”
3:01 Deborah: “Oh, hello.”
3.03 Scott: “Hello.”
3:04 Deborah: “I didn’t realize he was… shit.. hi, I… who is this?”
3:10 Scott: “This is Scott.”
3:12 Deborah: “I’m calling from [Inaudible 03:13] Floral Design. I was told to call Harry Getzov.”
3:17 Scott: “Okay. Well… well, he can’t help you right now. He can’t help you.”
3:21 Deborah: “Who…”
3:21 Scott: “You have to speak to this other guy. There’s other people that take care of that now. Harry’s not around.”
3:27 Voice 3: “Yes, hello.”
3:30 The mortician: “Hello.”
3:31 Deborah: “Hello.”
3:32 The mortician: “Eh… well, didn’t… did you not hear about Harry?”
3:36 Deborah: “No, I didn’t.”
3:37 The mortician: “Oh my! It was horrible. He was… he was flying a kite and lightening hit the kite and… oh my goodness!”
3:46 Deborah: “That’s terrible. How is his fiancée? Is she there? Can I speak to the fiancée?”
3:50 The mortician: “Who… who do you…? It was terrible…”
3:52 Deborah: “[Inaudible 03:52]… who am I speaking…”
3:52 The mortician: “But Scott, his son, will speak to you.”
3:54 Deborah: “Hello. Who am I speaking to please?”
3:57 The mortician: “Scott, his son, will handle you.”
3:58 Deborah: “Oh, [Inaudible 03:59].”
4:00 Scott: “You’re from Floral Design?”
4:02 Deborah: “[Inaudible 04:02]… hello.”
4:03 Scott: “That what you said, Floral Design?”
4:03 Deborah: “Hello. Yeah, this Deborah [Inaudible 04.05]stein. I was calling [Inaudible 04:06] to speak to Harry. I… and is his fiancée there please?”
4:10 Scott: “No, she’s… she’s not here right now. She’s not able to speak.”
4:13 Deborah: “Oh! Then… can I leave a message then?”
4:16 The mortician: “Hello.”
4:16 Deborah: “How terrible! I didn’t…”
4:18 The mortician: “Hello.”
4:19 Deborah: “Yeah.”
4:19 Scott: “Hey, take this message.”
4:21 Deborah: “Should I give my number for…”
4:22 The mortician: “He’s flying a kite and the lightening hit the kite… I’m… uh… de… I had to [Inaudible 04:27] him out…”
4:22 Deborah: “[Inaudible 04:22].”
4:28 The mortician: “…and everything to look good in front of people.”
4:30 Deborah: “There was so much rain. Was it from that? That’s so horrible.”
4:33 The mortician: “Yes, he got one nice… he… for some reason, it possessed him to go out to fly kite and… and it… it electrified his chest, everything. It… I don’t understand why anyone would do that in the rain.”
4:46 Deborah: “[Inaudible 04:46] fiancée. I had talked to her before. Is it o… can I call her? Is it…”
4:50 The mortician: “But you… you can speak to his son Scott.”
4:53 Deborah: “Alright. I’ll speak to Scott.”
4:55 Scott: “Hi.”
4:56 Deborah: “Hi, is this Scott?”
4:57 Scott: “This is Scott. Hi, who is it please?”
4:58 Deborah: “Scott, it’s… this is Deb… I… I shouldn’t… I don’t know what to say? I… I… I guess I’ll call back. I’ll call for a…”
5:07 The mortician: “Hello.”
5:08 Deborah: “Yeah.”
5:09 The mortician: “Do you want… do you want to speak to his fiancée?”
5:11 Deborah: “Yeah. I… I… yeah, I would like to.”
5:13 The mortician: “But then you have to speak to his son Scott.”
5:17 Deborah: “I don’t understand. Maybe his nephew is over there and that’s because they’re putting me on [Inaudible 05:22]…”
5:26 The mortician: “Hello.”
5:27 Deborah: “Yeah.”
5:28 The mortician: “Hello.”
5:28 Deborah: “Okay, sir. I’m going to…”
5:30 The mortician: “Do you want to speak to his fiancée?”
5:31 Deborah: “Yeah. I don’t…”
5:32 The mortician: “But then you must speak to his son Scott.”
5:36 The mortician: “Hello.”
5:38 Deborah: “Hello.”
5:39 The mortician: “Mr. Scott.”
5:40 Deborah: “I don’t understand why…”
5:43 The mortician: “Miss… did you speak to Mr. Scott?”
5:45 Deborah: “I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t understand who Scott is. I know…”
5:48 The mortician: “Scott.”
5:50 Scott: “Yes.”
5:51 The mortician: “I… I believe this lady must speak to you to… to speak to…”
5:55 Deborah: “I don’t mean to be rude, but I was calling and I don’t understand quite frankly what’s going on. I… I just wanted to speak to…”
6:02 The mortician: “Mr. Scott will explain.”
6:05 Scott: “What’s the matter? Can I help you?”
6:08 The mortician: “[Inaudible 06:08].”
6:09 Deborah: “I’m going to call back, but you can call me. It’s Deborah [Inaudible 06:11]stein.”
6:12 The mortician: “Miss?”
6:12 Deborah: “Yeah.”
6:13 The mortician: “He was flying a kite.”
6:14 Deborah: “No, I heard you. I think it’s horrible that…”
6:16 The mortician: “The lightening did this. Took him in his ass and chest and he… I had to spend one day to fix him for the family.”
6:23 Deborah: “Who is this?”
6:24 The mortician: “I am the mortician.”
6:26 Deborah: “At his house?”
6:27 The mortician: “You see, he having it in his house.”
6:29 Deborah: “Okay. You know what? I’m going to call back and speak to the fiancée.”
6:32 The mortician: “But if you want to speak to fiancée, you must speak to his son Scott.”
6:35 Deborah: “I spoke to Scott. I don’t understand why…”
6:39 The mortician: “You… we need flowers.”
6:42 Scott: “Can I help you with something?”
6:42 Deborah: “I don’t under… yeah, hello.”
6:44 The mortician: “No, no miss, this… miss, I don’t know who de people on the phone… eh, we need flowers.”
6:51 Deborah: “Why, yeah I could do the funeral. I mean…”
6:54 The mortician: “But you… you… you must speak to his son Scott.”
6:58 Deborah: “Okay, I’ll do that, yeah.”
6:59 The mortician: “So, we want to dress him in flowers because we have… because of the kite, we think a Ben Franklin kind of thing would look good. You know, maybe if you could put flowers like a Ben Franklin wreath…”
7:10 Deborah: “[Inaudible 07:10]. You know what [Inaudible 07:11]… look, I will call back. I’ll speak to the fiancée…”
7:14 The mortician: “Oh, no. if you want to speak to fiancée, you must speak to his son Scott.”
7:18 Deborah: “But you know what? Let me… I’ll call you back. I’ll do this funeral. It’s fine. I’ll… I’ll call you back.”
7:23 The mortician: “No, but miss…”
7:24 Deborah: “Yes.”
7:25 The mortician: “His fiancée is here.”
7:27 Deborah: “You know I want to speak to the fiancée. I think…”
7:29 The mortician: “Okay, you want to speak to the fiancée?”
7:31 Deborah: “Yeah, I have… yeah.”
7:32 The mortician: “But in order to do that, you speak to his son Scott.”
7:35 Deborah: “Okay.”
7:37 The mortician: “Mr. Scott!”
7:38 Scott: “Yeah, I think the fiancée, she already arranged for flowers.”
7:38 Deborah: Okay, I… I’m going to call back.” I… I will call you back. I… I’m… I’m hanging up.”
7:44 Scott: “I’m not sure.” I think she may already…”
7:46 Background noise
7:55 Voice in the background: “[Inaudible 07:55]. No, don’t say it.”
7:58 Voices in the background
8:01 Phone rings..