, 0 comments

Car Salesman

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: Car Salesman

Characters: Paul Rizzo

Summary:

The skit presents a comical yet bizarre phone conversation between two individuals named Paul and Paul Rizzo. Paul Rizzo calls inquiring about a salesperson job, expressing eagerness to sell cars but quickly reveals an aggressive sales approach from his past job in Middletown, New York. He boasts about his extreme tactics, including threatening potential buyers to make a sale.

Paul, taken aback and uncomfortable with Rizzo’s methods, tries to steer the conversation away from aggressive sales techniques. He emphasizes a more subdued and ethical approach to selling, stating that their company doesn’t operate in the manner Rizzo suggests.

Despite Rizzo’s insistence that his forceful methods work, Paul remains firm about the company’s values, ultimately declining to hire Rizzo. The conversation ends with Rizzo acknowledging the mismatch and deciding to try elsewhere, leaving the call on an awkward but humorous note.

Transcript:

0:00     Phone rings.

0:01     Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:02     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah, where’s Paul?”

0:04     Voice 1: “Who’s… who’s calling?”

0:05     Paul Rizzo: “I’m calling about the job, salesperson.”

0:07     Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:07].”

0:10     Paul: “Hello.”

0:11     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah, Paul?”

0:12     Paul: “Speaking.”

0:12     Paul Rizzo: “What do you need me to sell babe?”

0:14     Paul: “Excuse me.”

0:14     Paul Rizzo: “What do you need me to sell? I’m calling about the salesperson job?”

0:17     Paul: “What do I need you to sell?”

0:18     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah. Sell cars? What’s the story here?”

0:21     Paul: “You sell cars?”

0:21     Paul Rizzo: “You got it.”

0:22     Paul: “Where do you sell ’em?”

0:23     Paul Rizzo: “I sell them up in Middletown, Upstate New York. I had a little problem over there though. That’s somethin’ I don’t want to talk about.”

0:29     Paul: “Middletown?”

0:29     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah.”

0:30     Paul: “Okay. What’s your name?”

0:32     Paul Rizzo: “Paul, Paul Rizzo.”

0:34     Paul: “Paul what?”

0:34     Paul Rizzo: “Paul Rizzo.”

0:35     Paul: “Rizzo?”

0:35     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah.”

0:36     Paul: “Where do you live?”

0:37     Paul Rizzo: “I live upstate.”

0:39     Paul: “Okay. That’s a long way from…”

0:42     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah. Well, you know, for some people maybe.”

0:44     Paul: “Okay.”

0:45     Paul Rizzo: “Let’s talk about sellin’ cars Paul.”

0:47     Paul: “Okay.”

0:48     Paul Rizzo: “What do you… I could sell… whatever you need sold, I’ll sell. You could bring in a tank, I’ll sell the fuckin’ thing.”

0:54     Paul: “Yeah, how far away do you live though?”

0:56     Paul Rizzo: “About 60 miles.”

0:58     Paul: “Sixty miles.”

0:58     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah. Don’t worry about it. I’m there early every day.”

1:01     Paul: “I am wor… I am worried about mileage on the car.”

1:03     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll use my own car Paul.”

1:04     Paul: “Okay.”

1:05     Paul Rizzo: “I drive it silly, silly.”

1;08     Paul: “And why do you want to drive 60 miles to go to work?”

1:09     Paul Rizzo: “Hey. That’s my business. Are you… you want to sell cars through me or what? See, I had problems up there in Middletown. I gotta get the hell out of that area. I grabbed some guy. He’s a, you know, like he don’t know if he wants to buy. I… I push his face right in the fuckin’ hood, you know…. tell, “You buy this fuckin’ car or I’ll break your fuckin’ head.” I had problems over there Paul.” ’

1:30     Paul: “Well, it sounds like [Inaudible 01:31] problems anywhere.”

1:32     Paul Rizzo: “Ahh!

1:33     Paul: Laughter.

1:34     Paul Rizzo: “You know, so at times these fuckers they gotta buy. I need… you know I need dough like anyone. So what do you think? We got somethin’ goin’ here or what?’

1:40     Paul: “I don’t know. I don’t want that kind of operation.”

1:42     Paul Rizzo: “Ahh, you see. Here we’re off to a bad start, you know.”

1:46     Paul: “But I don’t want that kind of operation.”

1:48     Paul Rizzo: “Ahh! We’ll see. Well, I could tone it down a bit you know, maybe choke a few people here and there. That’s about it.”

1:53     Paul: Laughter.

1:54     Paul Rizzo: “Hey, it works. You think it’s funny? It works. I sell.”

1:56     Paul: “Yeah, but I don’t run that kind of operation.”

1:58     Paul Rizzo: “Yeah, I’m silly. I’m tellin’ you. I’m silly.”

2:01     Paul: “Yeah. I don’t run that kind of operation.”

2:02     Paul Rizzo: “Ahh!”

2:03     Paul: “In fact salesmen don’t even quote prices here.”

2:05     Paul Rizzo: “Ahh, let me try somewhere else then, okay.”

2:06     Paul: “Alrighty.”

2:07     Paul Rizzo: “Alright. See you then later nitz.”

2:08     Paul: “Okay.”

2:09     Paul Rizzo: “Right.”

Car Salesman – A Classic Frank Rizzo Prank

The Car Salesman skit is one of those unforgettable moments that captures the chaotic energy of the Jerky Boys at their best. Featuring the aggressive and wildly unpredictable character Frank Rizzo, this prank call takes a normal car dealership conversation and turns it into complete comedic mayhem.

For fans of classic prank calls, the Jerky Boys represent a golden era of comedy when improvisation ruled and nothing was scripted. Frank Rizzo’s loud personality and relentless attitude drive the entire conversation, making this skit another perfect example of why the duo became legendary in the world of crank call comedy.

What Happens in the Car Salesman Skit?

In the Car Salesman prank, Frank Rizzo calls a dealership with his typical confrontational tone and exaggerated confidence. What starts as a simple inquiry quickly turns into a hilarious clash between Frank’s aggressive personality and the confused salesperson on the other end of the line.

Frank interrupts constantly, throws out sarcastic remarks, and refuses to follow the normal flow of conversation. Instead of discussing vehicles like a normal customer, he pushes the conversation into absurd territory, making the situation increasingly uncomfortable and funny at the same time.

The humor comes from the contrast between the calm professionalism of the salesperson and Frank’s explosive delivery. Every response from the dealership only fuels Frank’s attitude, causing the conversation to spiral into classic prank call chaos.

Why This Jerky Boys Skit Still Works Today

Frank Rizzo’s Over-the-Top Personality

One reason the Car Salesman prank stands out is Frank Rizzo himself. As one of the most iconic characters created by Johnny Brennan, Frank is loud, fearless, and completely unpredictable.

His signature style includes:

  • Aggressive interruptions
  • Loud insults and sarcasm
  • Overconfidence in ridiculous situations
  • Escalating conversations that quickly spiral out of control

These traits make every Frank Rizzo prank call feel spontaneous and explosive.

Completely Unscripted Comedy

What made the Jerky Boys different from other comedians was their improvisational style. The prank calls were not scripted or staged.

Johnny Brennan would create characters on the spot and react in real time to whatever the unsuspecting person said. This unpredictability created authentic comedy that felt raw and genuine.

A Piece of Comedy History

The Jerky Boys were created by Johnny Brennan and Kamal Ahmed in Queens, New York. They first gained attention through underground cassette tapes of prank calls recorded in the late 1980s.

Their breakthrough came with the release of the comedy album The Jerky Boys (1993), followed by The Jerky Boys 2 (1994). These albums sold millions of copies and introduced unforgettable characters like:

These characters helped define prank call comedy and turned the Jerky Boys into crank call legends.

Today, their recordings are still enjoyed by fans who appreciate raw, unscripted humor that pushes boundaries.

Why Fans Love This

Classic Jerky Boys Energy

The Car Salesman skit delivers exactly what fans expect from a Frank Rizzo prank. The conversation escalates quickly and the humor builds with every line.

Nostalgia for 1990s Comedy

For many listeners, Jerky Boys prank calls represent a nostalgic era of comedy. Their albums were shared on cassette tapes, CDs, and radio shows long before viral internet clips existed.

Unpredictable Reactions

The funniest moments often come from the reactions of the people receiving the calls. Since they have no idea they are part of a prank, their confusion adds another layer of comedy.