Bright

They Jerky Tapes (Album 6)

Title: Bright

Characters: Frank Rizzo

Summary:

“Bright” features Frank Rizzo turning a simple inquiry into a chaotic prank call. The conversation begins normally but quickly escalates. Miscommunication drives the humor forward. Frank’s bold personality dominates each exchange. The pacing remains fast and engaging. Fans enjoy its unpredictable direction. The call highlights strong character-driven comedy. A classic example of Jerky Boys humor.

Transcript:

0:00:   Phone rings.

0:03 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:03]. This is [Inaudible 00:04] speaking.”

0:06 Voice 2: “Hello.”

0:07 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:08 Voice 2: “Is Bright there?”

0:09 Voice 1: “Yes, she is.”

0:10 Voice 2: “May I speak with her please?”

0:12 Voice 1: “And what is this in reference to?”

0:13 Voice 2: “She cut my son’s hair.”

0:16 Voice 1: “And is there something wrong?”

0:17 Voice 2: “It’s ridiculous. He looks like a [Inaudible 00:19]. He looks like a jackass now. Do you understand me?”

0:24 Voice 1: “Yeah. I understand you completely.”

0:26 Voice 2: “I mean, what is she using to cut his hair, a baseball bat? He’s in the professional world and she did an awful job.”

0:32 Voice 1: “Hold on one second.”

0:42 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:43 Voice 2: “Hello.”

0:44 Voice 1: “Okay. What is your son’s name?”

0:45 Voice 2: “Is this Bright?”

0:46 Voice 1: “No, this is [Inaudible 00:47].”

0:48 Voice 2: “I’m going to have to talk to Bright.”

0:50 Voice 1: “I’m the receptionist here and I need to know exactly who is…”

0:54 Voice 2: “This is Gary’s mom, Gary Delabati’s mom.”

0:57 Voice 1: “Gary Delabati?”

0:58 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:59 Voice 1: “What day was he in here?”

1:00 Voice 2: “He was in the other day and she cut his hair. It looks like she used garden shears. He’s in the bathroom puking all night all over himself. He’s sick with his haircut. He looks dopier than he ever did now.”

1:12 Voice 1: “Why wouldn’t he just come back in and have it fixed?

1:15 Voice 2: “Because maybe did you ever think he’s afraid. He looks so stupid. He looks even dopier then he did before.”

1:23 Voice 1: “Afraid to come back?”

1:24 Voice 2: “You know how stupid he looks in the first place! And you people cut his hair just to make fools of him, just to make him feel like a dirty worm.”

1:33 Voice 1: “What?”

1:34 Voice 2: “Is Bright there?”

1:36 Voice 1: “She’s with a client. I cannot disturb her.”

1:38 Voice 2: “She did this! She did this to my boy.”

1:43 Voice 1: “I’m going to give you to the manager, okay?”

1:44 Voice 2: “What?”

1:44 Voice 1: “I’m going to give you to the manager.”

1:45 Voice 2: “Oh God! Okay.”

1:47 Voice 1: “Hold on.”

1:48 Voice 2: “Hurry up.”

1:55 Flair: “Hi!”

1:56 Voice 2: “Hello.”

1:57 Flair: “Yes.”

1:58 Voice 2: “Yes. Hi.”

1:59 Flair: “This is Flair. Can I help you?”

2:01 Voice 2: “How many different people do I need to speak to before I get to Bright?”

2:04 Flair: “Oh, you wanted to speak to Bright?”

2:06 Voice 2: “Yes.”

2:07 Flair: “For what?”

2:08 Voice 2: “For what happened. Bright cut Gary’s hair.”

2:12 Flair: “Aha. Bright cut Gary’s hair.”

2:14 Voice 2: “She made a mess of it.”

2:15 Flair: “She made a mess of it.”

2:17 Voice 2: “Yes.”

2:18 Flair: “What would you like to do? Would you like to have him come in and have it re-cut?

2:22 Voice 2: “He’s my son. I love him and he’s hurt now. He’s hurt.”

2:27 Flair: “Okay.”

2:28 Voice 2: “Everyone’s making fun of him. Don’t you see that? He’s already got enough of a complex with that mouth of his and his face and his fat ass. He has enough problems.”

2:39 Flair: “Why don’t you have him come in and she can re-check it.”

2:42 Voice 2: “Why did you do this to him? You know he is self conscious.”

2:47 Flair: “Alright. Hold on just a minute.”

2:49 Voice 2:”Excuse me!”

2:50 Flair: “Yes.”

2:51 Voice 2: “She… She… Please help me.”

2:54 Flair: “Yeah, okay. Here you go.”

2:59 Bright: “Hello.”

3:00 Voice 2: “Yes. Bright please.”

3:01 Bright: “Yes. This is Bright.”

3:02 Voice 2: “What did you do to Gary’s hair?”

3:04 Bright: “Who is Gary?”

3:05 Voice 2: “He’s my son. Damn it, he’s my son! I love him.”

3:10 Bright: “Gary Delabati?”

3:11 Voice 2: “Yes.”

3:12 Bright: ‘What did I do to his… Oh, now I know. I didn’t cut his hair. When he cut his hair?”

3:17 Voice 2: “He cut his hair the other day. He said you did it.”

3:20 Bright: “I didn’t cut his hair. You know who is…Gary Delabati works for [Inaudible 03:24]?”

3:25 Voice 2: “I don’t’ care who he works for, damn you! You cut his hair.”

3:28 Bright: ‘I don’t know who you are.  I’m sorry but Gary I cut two months ago his hair. This is the person [Inaudible 03:32], the person who cuts here, she makes a mistake. I didn’t cut… Listen, I didn’t cut his hair last time.”

3:40 Voice 2: “Listen to me.”

3:41 Bright: “I didn’t cut his hair.”

3:43 Voice 2: “He was in the bathroom all night sick and he said Bright was responsible for this.”

3:47 Bright: “He went somewhere else yesterday. But I didn’t cut…Last time when I cut his hair was two months ago. Sometimes he goes somewhere else.”

3:55 Voice 2: “Listen to me.”

3:56 Bright: “When I cut his hair was two months ago.”

3:58 Voice 2: “Will you shut your mouth for a minute and listen to me please?”

4:00 Bright: “I’m listening to you but I didn’t cut his hair.”

4:02 Voice 2: “Listen to me. You told him that he would look much better with a [Inaudible 04:06] That’s not right.”

4:08 Bright; “I didn’t cut his hair.”

4:10 Voice 2: “You did cut his hair, you crazy bitch!”

4:13 Bright: “He’s making me crazy. I don’t know who this i!”

4:15 Voice 2: “Listen to me. I’m going to come down there and I’m going to kick you in your cunt. It’s not right what you did to my beautiful horse faced boy, you sick bitch!”

4:24 Bright hangs up.