You Wanna Scrap?

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: You Wanna Scrap?

Characters: Frank Rizzo




0:00:   Phone rings.

0:07 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:08 Frank: “Hello.”

0:09 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:10 Frank: “I can’t hear you. Can you speak up?”

0:11 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:12 Frank: “Hello”

0:13 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:14 Frank: “I’m not getting you too clear.”

0:15 Voice 1: “What?”

0:16 Frank: “How’s that phone connection over there?”

0:19 Voice 1: “The answering machine is on.”

0:20 Frank: “Can you shut it off?”

0:21 Voice 1: “Who is this?”

0:22 Frank: “This is Frank. I was going through the yellow pages. I saw scrap.”

0:26 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:26 Frank: “And what’s the problem? You got beef with me or somethin?”

0:29 Voice 1: “No.”

0:30 Frank: “Well, it says scrap in the paper. You know what I’m saying?”

0:35 Voice 1: “Wait. What are you speaking about?”

0:37 Frank: “This is Frank.”

0:39 Voice 1: “Frank who?

0:40 Frank: “Frank Rizzo.”

0:41 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:42 Frank: “Yeah. I’m reading through the yellow pages and your ad says scrap.”

0:45 Voice 1: “Aha.”

0:46 Frank: “What’s that all about? I never did nothin’ to you.”

0:50 Voice 1: “I’m trying to figure out what are you talkin’ about.”

0:53 Frank: “You see? You see the way came up with the [Inaudible 00:55] like that? Your ad reflects the same thing. The way you just answered me like that.”

1:00 Voice1: “What are you speaking of?”

1:01 Frank: “I never did nothing wrong to you.”

1:04 Voice 1: “Wait, wait, wait…I don’t even know what you speakin’ of mister.”

1:06 Frank: “Well, you know, that’s not right. You put the ad in the paper there. It says scrap. What kind of crap is that?”

1:13 Voice 1: “What as are you speaking about?”

1:15 Frank: “Is the boss there?”

1:16 Voice 1: “No, he’s not here”

1:17 Frank: “Because I don’t think you know you want to scrap with me. I don’t even know you. I don’t have no beef with you.”

1:21 Voice 1: “Listen, I don’t know who you are.”

1:23 Frank: “That’s what I’m saying.”

1:24 Voice 1: “I don’t know who you are.”

1:25 Frank: “Now you come up with the mouth there like… I heard your friend was telling me you were going to kick my ass on the Howard Stern’s show. I don’t even know you.”

1:33 Voice 1: “Who are you speaking to?”

1:34 Frank: “So you’re going to take me out on the Stern show in the middle of Times Square and beat my ass all over the street. I don’t even know you.”

1:40 Voice 1: “Listen, who are you speaking to? Do you know who you’re speaking to?”

1:43 Frank: “Sterns. This is Sterns Plastic?”

1:45 Voice 1: “Wait a minute. I’m not Stern.”

1:47 Frank: “Oh, you’re not Stern.”

1:48 Voice 1: “No. You got the wrong person and don’t come out of your mouth with an attitude like this with me.”

1:53 Frank: “Oh, so you know the guy Stern. I’m gonna take a pipe to that son of a bitch. I’m going to do that.”

1:57 Voice 1: “You don’t know who you speaking about mister.”

1:59 Frank: “You know Stern?”

2:00 Voice 1: “You don’t know who speaking about. You come talk about kickin’ some ass and this and that. I’m not about this.”

2:06 Frank: “Alright. Listen, you got to see the size of the ass on me. My ass looks like an old fuckin’ barrel.”

2:13 Voice 1: “I don’t know what you talkin’ about.”

2:14 Frank: “You know that guy Howard Stern on the radio?”

2:16 Voice 1: “It’s got nothing to do with me.”

2:17 Frank: “Well, that’s what I’m saying. He’s a wise ass punk and I’m going to wind up punching him in the fucking mouth.”

2:21 Voice 1: “Who are you?”

2:23 Frank: “I’m Frank.”

2:24 Voice 1: “Frank who?

2:25 Frank: “Frank Rizzo.”

2:27 Voice 1: “You’re calling [Inaudible 00:28]”

2:29 Frank: “That’s…Well, I can’t get through to him so I figured I’d call you and I fuckin’ run some threats by you.”

2:33 Voice 1: “Mister, watch your language because you don’t know who you’re speakin’ to.”

2:38 Frank: “You know I swing down that rug there. I got those big fat ass tits on me, they get me angry sometimes.”

2:44 Voice 1: “I don’t know what you’re speaking of, mister.”

2:45 Frank; “I look like a big fat fuck you know?”

2:47 Voice 1: “You don’t watch your language. Very bad!”

2:50 Frank: “I’m very sorry about that so I’m very fuckin’ apologetic.”

2:54 Voice 1: “Because I’m not speaking this type of language with you.”

2:55 Voice 1 hangs up the phone.

2:56 Frank: “Alright sir!”

Call ends.