Unemployed Painter

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: Unemployed Painter

Characters: Mike Derucki

Summary:

0:00     Phone rings..

0:02     Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:02     Mike: “Hey! What’s up there fruitcake? I’m lookin’ for paint work.”

0:05     Voice 1: “Who is this?”

0:06     Mike: “This is Mike.”

0:08     Voice 1: “Hmm! Mike who?”

0:09     Mike: Mike Derucki. You got paint work for me or what?”

0:11     Voice 1: “No.”

0:13     Mike: “Well, it says here in the ad that you need the paint work and you got paint work and all that shit.  What have we got there?

0:18     Voice 1: “Oh, they made a mistake in that ad.”

0:19     Mike: “Oh, yeah. Well, you don’t got no work for me?”

0:23     Voice 1: “Well, you don’t understand it. See what it says on the Situations Wanted.”

0:25     Mike: “Yeah.”

0:27     Voice 1: “Yes, they made a mistake. They’ve asked you if you can call me [Inaudible 00:28], but I’m lookin’ for work.”

0:29     Mike: “Hey! I know what it’s like.”

0:31     Voice 1: “He-he, you’ve… you paint in the union?”

0:34     Mike: ‘Nahhhh! I don’t go with that union shit. You know what I mean. I paint everything.  I’m a painter. I paint my car. I paint everything.”

0:39     Voice 1: “Huh! You’re like me. You know I’m lookin’ for work…”

0:40     Mike: “Yeah.”

0:40     Voice 1: “…myself, you know.”

0:41     Mike: “I just did some job on my car. Beautiful! I used the roller there, the paint brush. It came out beautiful.”

0:46     Voice 1: “Oh yeah.”

0:46     Mike: “Huh! I’m good. I’m good. So you got no paintin’ for me, uh?”

0:50     Voice 1: “I’m not workin’ myself. I’m lookin’ for work.”

0:51     Mike: “What about tapin’?”

0:53     Voice 1: “Nothin’.”

0:54     Mike: “Yeah, huh!”

0:54     Voice 1: “I’m sorry, you know.”

0:55     Mike: “Yeah. I hear you fruitcake.  You gotta help me out though if you could.”

0:58     Voice 1: “I would.”

0:59     Mike: “Yeah. You couldn’t help me though, huh?”

1:01     Voice 1: “No ’cos I’m not working myself.”

1:03     Mike: “Oh, I paint my toe nails, everything.”

1:04     Voice 1: “Ha, ha, ha!”

1:05     Mike: “Paint the walls. I’m silly. I love it. They call me Rubberneck.”

1:09     Voice 1: “Oh yeah?”

1:10     Mike: “Yeah.”

1:11     Voice 1: “Heh!”

1:11     Mike: “So, what do you say we get together and paint each other up?”

1:15     Voice 1: “Yeah. Forget about it.”

1:16     Mike: “Hey! We’re good like that, right? Paint the town, night on the town, right, Mike? What do you say Bill?”

1:22     Voice 1: “Give me your number.”

1:23     Mike: “Alright, you ready chief?”

1:25     Voice 1: “Yeah. You live in the city?”

1:26     Mike: “Yeah, 555-5785.”

1:32     Voice 1: “What part of the city you live?”

1:33     Mike: “Uh, down in the Village area there.”

1:35     Voice 1: “Oh, you’re way downtown.”

1:36     Mike: “Yaw shoosh, way downtown fruitcake. Look, any help you can give me, I appreciate it.”

1:40     Voice 1: “So I will.”

1:41     Mike: “Okay, sizzlechest.”

1:42     Voice 1: “What’s your name?”

1:43     Mike: “My name is Mike. Okay! I appreciate it.”

1:47     Voice 1: “Okay, somethin’ comes along.”

1.48     Mike: “Hey! God bless us all. Huh! God bless you babe.”

1.51     Voice 1: “Okay, thank you.”

1:52     Mike: “Wish you luck in the future. Say you a prayer.”

1:53     Voice 1: “Thank you. “

1:54     Mike: “Okay. See you later fruitcake.”

1:55     Voice 1: “Okay, bye.’

Unemployed Painter – A Classic Jerky Boys Prank Call

If you’re a true fan of the Jerky Boys, you already know that some of the funniest moments come from the most unexpected situations. “Unemployed Painter” is one of those unforgettable prank calls where Mike Derucki steps in and turns a simple conversation into complete comedic chaos.

This skit is a perfect example of how the crank call legends built their reputation, by blending confidence, absurdity, and unpredictable humor into one seamless performance. It’s not just funny, it’s timeless.

What Happens in “Unemployed Painter”

At the center of this classic prank call is Mike Derucki, a character who approaches every conversation with a mix of confidence and confusion that instantly throws the other person off balance.

The premise is simple: a painter looking for work. But like all great Jerky Boys prank calls, the situation quickly escalates into something completely ridiculous. The dialogue becomes increasingly awkward, misunderstandings pile up, and the humor builds naturally without ever feeling forced.

This is exactly what made the Jerky Boys pioneers of prank call entertainment.

The Humor That Defined a Generation

What makes “Unemployed Painter” stand out among other classic comedy albums is how real it feels. There’s no script, no overproduction, just raw interaction that spirals into pure comedy gold.

Mike Derucki’s delivery brings:

• Over-the-top confidence
• Complete lack of awareness
• Unexpected responses that derail the conversation
• A natural rhythm that keeps listeners hooked

This style helped turn simple prank calls into some of the most iconic comedy collectibles ever recorded.

Why This Skit Still Works Today

Even in a world filled with viral videos and scripted content, this prank call still delivers. Why? Because authenticity always wins.

Listeners enjoy:

• The unpredictability of real reactions
• The slow build of awkward tension
• The payoff that never feels staged
• The nostalgic connection to classic Jerky Boys content

It’s the kind of humor that doesn’t age, it only gets better with time.

Why Fans Love This

Fans of the Jerky Boys keep coming back to “Unemployed Painter” for a reason:

• It captures the essence of classic prank call humor
• Mike Derucki is both frustrating and hilarious
• The situation escalates naturally without overacting
• It feels like you’re listening in on a real conversation

For collectors and longtime listeners, this track is a must-have piece of Jerky Boys history.

Perfect For

This skit is perfect for:

• Fans of Jerky Boys merchandise and collectibles
• Lovers of vintage prank call comedy
• Anyone exploring custom prank calls for the first time
• Listeners building a library of classic comedy albums

Whether you’re new to the Jerky Boys or a longtime fan, this track delivers exactly what you expect from the crank call legends.

A Piece of Comedy History

“Unemployed Painter” is more than just a prank call, it’s a snapshot of a time when comedy was simple, raw, and incredibly effective.

Before social media and digital content took over, the Jerky Boys were redefining entertainment with nothing more than a phone call and a fearless approach to humor.

Owning or revisiting this track is like adding a true piece of comedy history to your collection. It represents the roots of modern prank-based entertainment and continues to influence comedians today.

Expand Your Collection

If you enjoy this skit, there’s a whole world of Jerky Boys content waiting to be explored.

Fans often go on to discover:

• Full Jerky Boys albums packed with iconic moments
• Rare and exclusive Jerky Boys merchandise
• Additional prank calls featuring Mike Derucki and other characters
• Limited-edition comedy collectibles

Each piece adds to the experience and brings you closer to the legacy of the Jerky Boys.

Visit the Jerky Boys store for unique and entertaining birthday prank experiences.