I Pickle They

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: I Pickle They

Characters:

Summary:

Transcript:

 

0:00 Phone rings

0:02 Voice 1: “Hello”

0:03 Voice 2: “Good afternoon! Jack’s Pickle’s and Peanuts Pumps. Who’s this?”

0:07 Voice1: “From where?”

0:08 Voice 2: “Hello.”

0:09 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:10 Voice 2: “Yes. You want pickles?”

0:11 Voice 1: “Pickles? Yes.”

0:13 Voice 2: “Yes. Okay. How many?”

0:15 Voice 1: “How many pickles?”

0:17 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:18 Voice 1: “What kind size?”

0:19 Voice 2: “How many do you want?”

0:20 Voice 1: ”50 boxes.”

0:24 Voice 2: ‘Sir.

0:25 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:27 Voice 2: “What are you doin?”

0:28 Voice 1: “I pickle… you know. I pickle they.”

0:34 Voice 2: “Sir, why?”

0:36 Voice 1: “I pickle.”

0:37 Voice 2: “Hello.”

0:38 Voice 1: “Yes. You got the pickle?”

0:40 Voice 2: “Yes. You called me. You want pickles?”

0:42 Voice 1: “I call you?”

0:43 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:44 Voice 1: “For the pickles?”

0:45 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:46 Voice 1: “Just one second.”[Speaks in native language] Nobody call you.”

0:52 Voice 2: “You just called me now.”

0:54 Voice 1: “I called you now?”

0:56 Voice 2: “Yes.”

0:57 Voice 1: “I pickle they”

0:58 Voice 2: “This is Jack’s Pickles and Peanuts Pumps”

1:02 Voice 1: “Jack Pickles from Peanuts Pumps?”

1:05 Voice 2: “Right”

1:06 Voice 1: “I don’t know.”

1:07 Voice 2: “Look. I have…Listen, do you need sour, half sour, garlic or dill, what?”

1:12 Voice 1: “I need just tomatoes. You have tomatoes? Fresh tomatoes?”

1:17 Voice 2: “I have tomatoes too, yes. How many boxes do you need?”

1:21 Voice 1: “How many boxes I need?”

1:22 Voice 2: “Yes.”

1:23 Voice 1: “300 boxes.”

1:25 Voice 2: “Of tomatoes?”

1:26 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:27 Voice 2: “Going…”

1:27 Voice 1: “No, just…What kind prices? Dependant on price.”

1:31 Voice 2: “My tomatoes are $3.69 a box.”

 

1:35 Voice 1: “$3.69 a box?”

1:36 Voice 2: “Yes.”

1:37 Voice 1: “How many pounds in box?”

1:38 Voice 2: “About 18 pounds.”

1:40 Voice 1: “18 pounds?”

1:42 Voice 2: “Yes.”

1:43 Voice 1: “This is fresh tomatoes?”

1:44 Voice 2: “Fresh. That’s right. We grow them in small pots.”

1:52 Voice 1: “18 pounds?”

1:54 Voice 2: “Yes.”

1:55 Voice 1: “What kind size of the tomatoes?”

1:57 Voice 2: “They’re very, very small. They are almost microscopic. You can barely see them with the naked eye.”

2:03 Voice 1: “Small or like cherry tomatoes?”

2:05 Voice 2: “These are nipple tomatoes. As a matter of fact, you may need a [Inaudible 00:02:10] to see these damn things.”

2:12 Voice 1: “Okay. How I can see these tomatoes?”

2:15 Voice 2: “With your eyes, you silly ass!”

2:19 Voice 1: “Oh my God!”

2:20 Voice 2: “You don’t want them or no?”

2:21 Voice 1: “No. I want they.”

2:23 Voice 2: “You…”

2:24 Voice 1: “I want they. No, I don’t know what kind they. They small, small, like… no, just… what kind? How many… One inch around, two inches around?”

2:38 Voice 2: “A small point.”

2:40 Voice 1: “A small pump?”

2:43 Voice 2: “Yes. Yes!”

2:47 Voice 1: “Okay. Listen to me, when they is good, I take all of them. No problem.”

2:53 Voice 2: “Okay.”

2:55 Voice 1: “I pickle.”

2:56 Voice 2: “Okay. We got a deal.”

2:58 Voice 1: ‘Okay.”

2:59 Voice 2: “2000 dollars.”

3:01 Voice 1: ‘2000 dollars?”

3:02 Voice 2: “Yeah.”

3:03 Voice 1: “For what?”

3:04 Voice 2: ‘For a small box of potatoes.”

3:07 Voice 1: “Of potatoes?”

3:09 Voice 2: “Yes.”

3:10 Voice1: “I don’t need potatoes. I need just tomatoes.”

3:12 Voice 2: “I’ll give you tomatoes and then you give me 2000 for the box of potatoes.”

3:17 Voice 1: ‘Good.”

3:18 Voice 2: “Okay?”

3:19 Voice 1: “Okay.”

3:20 Voice 2: “You’re a good businessman.”

3:22 Voice 1: “Why not?”

3:23: Voice 2: “Aha”

3:24 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

3:25 Voice 2:” See, I like doing business with you. I make money.”

3:26 Voice 1: [Laughs]

3:28 Voice 2: “What you doin’?”

3:30 Voice 1: “I pickle.”

3:31 [Sound of police siren]

3:32 Voice 2:”Oh, shit. I gotta go”

3:33 Voice 1: “Okay.”

3:33 Voice 2: “Somebody hit my car.”

3:34 Voice 2 hangs up.