I Pickle They

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: I Pickle They

Characters: Jack Tors


In this comedic skit, confusion reigns supreme during a phone conversation between two individuals regarding an order of pickles and tomatoes. Voice 1 seems to be trying to place an order for pickles but appears to be inadvertently calling Jack’s Pickle’s and Peanuts Pumps repeatedly. Jack Tors, representing the business, tries to understand and fulfill the order, offering not only pickles but also tomatoes, which are claimed to be incredibly tiny, almost microscopic “nipple tomatoes.”

The conversation spirals into a humorous exchange as Voice 1 struggles to comprehend the tomato size and type while Jack Tors persistently tries to seal a deal involving an unexpected box of expensive potatoes along with the tomatoes. Throughout the confusion, Voice 1 repeatedly asserts, “I pickle,” seemingly referring to their profession or activity.

The skit concludes abruptly as Jack Tors abruptly ends the call due to a supposed car accident, leaving Voice 1 still grappling with the bizarre deal they’ve unknowingly engaged in.

The humor arises from the miscommunication, absurdity in the offered products, and the persistent confusion between the two characters, resulting in a chaotic and hilarious conversation full of misunderstandings and unexpected twists.


0:00 Phone rings

0:02 Voice 1: “Hello”

0:03 Jack Tors: “Good afternoon! Jack’s Pickle’s and Peanuts Pumps. Who’s this?”

0:07 Voice1: “From where?”

0:08 Jack Tors: “Hello.”

0:09 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:10 Jack Tors: “Yes. You want pickles?”

0:11 Voice 1: “Pickles? Yes.”

0:13 Jack Tors: “Yes. Okay. How many?”

0:15 Voice 1: “How many pickles?”

0:17 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

0:18 Voice 1: “What kind size?”

0:19 Jack Tors: “How many do you want?”

0:20 Voice 1: ”50 boxes.”

0:24 Jack Tors: ‘Sir.

0:25 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:27 Jack Tors: “What are you doin?”

0:28 Voice 1: “I pickle… you know. I pickle they.”

0:34 Jack Tors: “Sir, why?”

0:36 Voice 1: “I pickle.”

0:37 Jack Tors: “Hello.”

0:38 Voice 1: “Yes. You got the pickle?”

0:40 Jack Tors: “Yes. You called me. You want pickles?”

0:42 Voice 1: “I call you?”

0:43 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

0:44 Voice 1: “For the pickles?”

0:45 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

0:46 Voice 1: “Just one second.”[Speaks in native language] Nobody call you.”

0:52 Jack Tors: “You just called me now.”

0:54 Voice 1: “I called you now?”

0:56 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

0:57 Voice 1: “I pickle they”

0:58 Jack Tors: “This is Jack’s Pickles and Peanuts Pumps”

1:02 Voice 1: “Jack Pickles from Peanuts Pumps?”

1:05 Jack Tors: “Right”

1:06 Voice 1: “I don’t know.”

1:07 Jack Tors: “Look. I have…Listen, do you need sour, half sour, garlic or dill, what?”

1:12 Voice 1: “I need just tomatoes. You have tomatoes? Fresh tomatoes?”

1:17 Jack Tors: “I have tomatoes too, yes. How many boxes do you need?”

1:21 Voice 1: “How many boxes I need?”

1:22 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

1:23 Voice 1: “300 boxes.”

1:25 Jack Tors: “Of tomatoes?”

1:26 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

1:27 Jack Tors: “Going…”

1:27 Voice 1: “No, just…What kind prices? Dependant on price.”

1:31 Jack Tors: “My tomatoes are $3.69 a box.”


1:35 Voice 1: “$3.69 a box?”

1:36 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

1:37 Voice 1: “How many pounds in box?”

1:38 Jack Tors: “About 18 pounds.”

1:40 Voice 1: “18 pounds?”

1:42 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

1:43 Voice 1: “This is fresh tomatoes?”

1:44 Jack Tors: “Fresh. That’s right. We grow them in small pots.”

1:52 Voice 1: “18 pounds?”

1:54 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

1:55 Voice 1: “What kind size of the tomatoes?”

1:57 Jack Tors: “They’re very, very small. They are almost microscopic. You can barely see them with the naked eye.”

2:03 Voice 1: “Small or like cherry tomatoes?”

2:05 Jack Tors: “These are nipple tomatoes. As a matter of fact, you may need a [Inaudible 00:02:10] to see these damn things.”

2:12 Voice 1: “Okay. How I can see these tomatoes?”

2:15 Jack Tors: “With your eyes, you silly ass!”

2:19 Voice 1: “Oh my God!”

2:20 Jack Tors: “You don’t want them or no?”

2:21 Voice 1: “No. I want they.”

2:23 Jack Tors: “You…”

2:24 Voice 1: “I want they. No, I don’t know what kind they. They small, small, like… no, just… what kind? How many… One inch around, two inches around?”

2:38 Jack Tors: “A small point.”

2:40 Voice 1: “A small pump?”

2:43 Jack Tors: “Yes. Yes!”

2:47 Voice 1: “Okay. Listen to me, when they is good, I take all of them. No problem.”

2:53 Jack Tors: “Okay.”

2:55 Voice 1: “I pickle.”

2:56 Jack Tors: “Okay. We got a deal.”

2:58 Voice 1: ‘Okay.”

2:59 Jack Tors: “2000 dollars.”

3:01 Voice 1: ‘2000 dollars?”

3:02 Jack Tors: “Yeah.”

3:03 Voice 1: “For what?”

3:04 Jack Tors: ‘For a small box of potatoes.”

3:07 Voice 1: “Of potatoes?”

3:09 Jack Tors: “Yes.”

3:10 Voice1: “I don’t need potatoes. I need just tomatoes.”

3:12 Jack Tors: “I’ll give you tomatoes and then you give me 2000 for the box of potatoes.”

3:17 Voice 1: ‘Good.”

3:18 Jack Tors: “Okay?”

3:19 Voice 1: “Okay.”

3:20 Jack Tors: “You’re a good businessman.”

3:22 Voice 1: “Why not?”

3:23: Jack Tors: “Aha”

3:24 Voice 1: “Yeah.”

3:25 Jack Tors:” See, I like doing business with you. I make money.”

3:26 Voice 1: [Laughs]

3:28 Jack Tors: “What you doin’?”

3:30 Voice 1: “I pickle.”

3:31 [Sound of police siren]

3:32 Jack Tors:”Oh, shit. I gotta go”

3:33 Voice 1: “Okay.”

3:33 Jack Tors: “Somebody hit my car.”

3:34 Jack Tors hangs up.