Send a Salami to your Boy in the Army
The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!
Title: Send a Salami to your Boy in the Army
Characters: Sol Rosenberg
Summary:
Transcript:
0:03 Phone rings…
0:04 Voice 1: “Hello. [Inaudible 00:04]
0:05 Sol: “Hello.”
0:06 Voice 1: “Hold on.”
0:06 Sol: “Hello”
0:08 Voice 1: “Can I help you?”
0:10 Sol: “Hi. Hello.”
0:11 Voice 1: “Yes.”
0:12 Sol: “Hi, this is Sol.”
0:14 Voice 1: “Hello.’
0:15 Sol: “Yes. Hi, this is Sol. Hi, thank you.”
0:17 Voice 1: “Hi.”
0:18 Sol: “Thank you. I would like to order a box of baloneys please.”
0:22 Voice 1: “A box of baloneys?”
0:24 Sol: “Right. They say send a salami to your boy in the army.”
0:27 Voice 1: “Okay. Let me explain. The baloney comes or the baloney comes home [Inaudible 00:30]
0:31: Sol: “Send a salami to the boy in the army. That’s what they said.”
0:34 Voice 1: “Right.”
0:35 Sol: “I want to get salamis and baloneys, Bologna
0:38 Voice 1: “Okay, baloney comes…”
0:39 Sol: “Hi. Okay, I’m sorry. Thank you. Go ahead.”
0:42 Voice 1: “Baloney comes in one size. It’s about a seven pound…”
0:48 Sol: “It’s a seven pound baloney. That’s a big…[Loud crash]
0:49 Voice 1: “That’s huge.”
0:51 Sol: “Oh, what was that? What was that? Excuse me, ma’am. “
0:56 Voice 1: “Yeah.”
0:57 Sol: “Are you alright?”
0:58 Voice 1: “It wasn’t you?”
0:59 Sol: “Oh by… Oh, Hi.”
1:01 Voice 1: “Yeah.”
1:02 Sol: “Okay. Yeah.”
1:03 Voice 1: “The salami…”
1:04 Sol: “Send a salami to your boy in the army. I like that.”
1:06 Voice 1: “Yeah. The salami, soft salami comes in 2, 3 or 5 pounds.”
1:10 Sol: “A 5 pound.”
1: 12 Voice 1: “2, 3 or 5 and the part salami’s are 1 ½, 2 ½ and 3 ½ pounds.”
1:16 Sol: “When they cure the salami’s, is this the one that they rub on the neck… the neck leather. They rub these on the neck to make the skin like soft…salami.”
1:26 Voice 1: “No. I have never heard of that.”
1:28 Sol: “Yeah, they cure it. They rub the intestines, all over the back and the neck with salt wounds and something like that.”
1:34 Voice 1: “Not that I know of.”
1:35 Sol”: “Send a salami to your boy in the army. That’s what they always kept telling me when I was there and I like that. And what I would like to do is order boxes of baloney, salami’s please. Thank you. Please.”
1:48 Voice 1: “A few…No…This is for mailing?”
1:49 Sol: “Yes. I… [Loud crash] Oh my God! Are you alright? Please!”
1:55 Voice 1: “This is not happening here.”
1:56 Sol: “Oh my work… Oh… Oh God! That makes me very scared; I’m very, very scared when I hear that. Ma’am…”
2:05 Voice 1: What state are you in?”
2:06 Sol: “I’m in… I’m in… Actually, I’m in New York State.”
2:09 Voice 1: “You’re in New York State. Okay, we can’t ship these…”
2:12 Sol: “The wonderful, the wonderful Empire State, the wonderful, beautiful… Send a salami to the boy in the army. I love that slogan.”
2:19 Voice 1: “Yeah, we can’t…”
2:20 Sol: “You got [Inaudible 02:22] over there?
2:24 Voice 1: “Excuse me?”
2:25 Sol: “Yeah. And a salami with a boy in the army. Thank you.”
2:29 Voice 1: “You’re welcome.”
2:30 Sol: “Thank you very much.”
2:31 Voice 1: “Okay.”
2:32 Sol: “Bye!”
2:33 Call ends.