Masturbation Box
The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!
Title: Masturbation Box
Characters: Sol Rosenberg
Summary:
Transcript:
0:01 Voice 1: “Hello.”…
0:02 Voice 2: “Yes.”
0:03: Voice 1: “Hi”
0:04 Voice 2: “Hi”
0:05 Voice 1: “Can you weld a box for me?”
0:09 Voice 2: “Yes.”
0:10 Voice 1: “A steel box.”
0:12 Voice 2: “Yes. Would you be able to bring it in?”
0:14 Voice 1: “No, it’s a big one. It’s heavy.”
0:17 Voice 2: “We would have to come to you?”
0:19 Voice 1: “Yes. Please stop those people from talking. I can’t hear you.”
0:24 Voice 2: “Okay. Can you hold one second?”
0:25 Voice 1: “Please.”
0:29 Voice 1: “Hello.”
0:30 Voice 2: “Yes.”
0:31 Voice 1: “Yes.”
0:32 Voice 2: “Okay. We would have to come see you. I can give you our labor rates. What kind of box is this and where is it?”
0:38 Voice 1: “I brought the steel myself. It’s very heavy. It’s a box. I just need you to weld it together.”
0:46 Voice 2: “Can you hold one second?”
0:50 Voice 1: “Hello.”
0:51 Voice 2: “Yes. Can I have your name?”
0:52 Voice 1: “Yes. My name is Sol.”
0:55 Voice 2: “Sol?”
0:56 Sol: “Sol. Damn you! Sol”
0:58 Voice 2: [Laughs]”Who is this?”
1:01 Sol: “Sol.”
1:02 Voice 2: “Who is this?”
1:03 Sol: “This is Sol Rosenberg. Hello!”
1:07 Voice 2: “Yes.”
1:08 Sol: “Yes. Hi”
1:09 Voice 2: “Hi”
1:10 Sol: “Hello, ma’am”
1:11: Voice 2: “Hi.”
1:12 Sol: “Yes.”
1:13 Voice 2: “Who is this?”
1:14: Sol:” “It’s Sol!”
1:15 Voice 2: “Yes.”
1:16 Sol: “C’mon, Please stop.”
1:18 Voice 2: [Laughs] “Yes.”
1:20 Sol: “Oh God! Oh Christ! Hello?”
1:24 Voice 2: “Who is this?”
1:26 Sol: “Hi, Hi”
1:27 Voice 2: “Hi”
1:28 Sol: “Please.”
1:29 Voice 2: “Please what?”
1:30 Sol: “Will you make me the box?”
1:35 Voice 3: “Hello”
1:36 Sol: “Yes.”
1:37 Voice 3: “Yes.”
1:38 Sol: “I want it just big enough so that I can fit inside of it.”
1:41 Voice 3: “That you could fit inside of it?”
1:43 Sol: “Yes. And I could…”
1:44 Voice 3: “What are you making? A box?”
1:47 Sol: “Yes, a box that I could be fit inside, welded in there, so I can masturbate.”
1:51 Voice 3: “Oh really!”[Laughs]
1:52 Sol: “Yes.”
1:53 Voice 3:”That’s a joke.”
1:54 Sol: ‘Stop it.”
1:55 Voice 3: “Why would you want to be a box to masturbate?”[Laughs]
2:00 Sol: “Stop! Stop laughing at me please.”
2:03 Voice 3: “I can’t “
2:05 Sol: “Stop.”
2:06 Voice 3: “I can’t.”
2:07 Sol: “I want a box please.”
2:08 Voice 3: “You want a box? What kind of box?”
2:10 Sol: “Where I can punch you in the mouth.”
2:13 Voice 3: “Yeah? And I punch… I kick in your ass.”
2:15 Sol: “You know how people fight? I would slug you right in the gut.”
2:18 Voice 3: “Oh really?”
2:19 Sol: “I’ll hit you in the gut then I would punch you right in your mouth.”
2:21: Voice 3: “If you have so many… so much guts, why don’t you come over here and do it in person?”
2:25 Sol:” Oh, no, no. I don’t want you to fight. It’s an idea.”
2:28 Voice 3: “Oh, it’s an idea, eh?”
2:29 Sol: “Like inside the box. “
2:30 Voice 3: “Oh, inside the box?”
2:31 Sol: “Yes.”
2:32 Voice 3: “Yeah.”
2:33 Sol: “Would you be in there with me?”
2:34 Voice 3: “No.”
2:35 Sol: “We could masturbate in the box.”
2:36 Voice 3: “No. I don’t need to masturbate in the box.”
2:38 Voice 2: “Who is this?”
2:38 Sol: “Hello.”
2:39 Voice 2: “Who is this?”
2:41 Sol: “Hi. I’m trying to build a box ma’am.”
2:44 Voice 2: “First you wanted to weld the box. Now you want to build the box. Which one is it?”
2:48 Sol: “I have the steel. You just need to weld it.”
2:49 Voice 3: “You need to weld to hide inside of it.”
2:52 Voice 2: “Oh, that kind of box? Who is this? Who is this?”
2:55 Sol: “Okay.”
2:56 Voice 2: “I’m going to hang up on you”
2:57 Sol: “Let me make it straight. My name is Sol.”
2:58 Voice 2: “I’m going to hang up on you.”
2:59 Sol: “My name is Sol.”
3:00 Voice 2: “How could you? It’s [Inaudible 03:02] your brother in law.”
3:04 Sol; “No, no, no. Not Sal, my name is Sol.”
3:08 Voice 4” “Hey idiot.”
3:10 Voice 2: “Sol?”
3:11 Sol: “Yes.”
3:12 Voice 2: “Who did you put on the phone? Who is that?”
3:14 Sol: “You see my wife.”
3:15 Voice 2: “What?”
3:17 Sol: “Who’s that?
3:18 Voice 4: “Hey idiot.”
3:19 Sol: “Get off the phone you stupid bastard!”
3:22 [Laughter]
3:23 Voice 4: “Who is that?”
3:24 Sol: “Hello.”
3:25 Voice 2: “Who is this?”
3:27 Sol: “Please… This is Sol.”
3:29 Voice 2: “No, it’s not.”
3:30 Sol: “My name is Sol Rosenberg.”
3:31 Voice 2: “No, it’s not. I want to know who this is.”
3:33 Sol: “I’m telling you.”
3:35 Voice 4: “What do you want idiot?”
3:36 Sol: “Get off the phone you stupid bastard.”
3:38 [Laughter]
3:44 Sol: “Hello.”
3:45 Voice 4: “Hello.”
3:46 Sol: “What is this ass doing on the phone? I was speaking to the girls not you.”
3:50 Voice 2: “He’s not an ass. You are.”
3:51 Sol: “He’s a piece of shit.”
3:52 Voice 2: “You’re not being truthful with me. I want to know who this is because I’m going to hang up.”
3:56 Sol: “What is he, a big tough guy?”
3:58 Voice 2: “That’s right. He’s a big tough guy and you should be scared.”
4:00 Sol: “He’s a piece of shit.”
4:02 Voice 2: “Ooh”
4:03 Voice 4: “Hey, [Inaudible 04:03], get the caller id number.”
4:05 Sol: “Oh, I’m scared. Oh, I’m real scared, you piece of shit!
4:10 Voice 2: [Laughs]
4:11 Sol: “Get the caller id number. Oh boy! I’m so scared, you piece of shit!”
4:17 Voice 4: “Who is this [Inaudible 04:18]”
4:19 Sol: “I’m going to call the police on you. That’s it! I’m calling the police on you, sons of bitches!”
4:24 Voice 2: “That’s nice.”
4:25 Sol: “I’m calling the police. I’ve had enough!”
4:27 Voice 2: “Okay.”
4:28 Sol: “You couldn’t make me the box, could you?”
4:29 Voice 2: “No.”
4:30 Voice 3: “Where’s the box? Where’s the steel?”
4:31 Sol: “I just wanted a box big enough to…
4:34 Voice 3: “Yeah, yeah. Bring the box, bring the steel. We’ll weld you in there and just so you won’t be able to come out ever again.”
4:40 Sol: “I just wanted to put my wife’s fat ass in the box and sink it to the bottom of the sea.”
4:44 Voice 3: “I thought you wanted to masturbate in the box.”
4:47: Sol: “Wll, I masturbate in the box before she goes in the damn thing.”
4:51 Voice 3: “Oh, really!”[Laughs]
4:52 Sol: “And then I’ll throw her fat ass in the box and send her sea [Inaudible 04:56] Hello!”
4:57 Voice 3: “Yeah.”
4:58 Sol: “Hi”
4:59 Voice 3: “Hi.”
5:01 Sol: “You’re a filthy woman!”
5:02 Voice 3: “Just like you, I’m talking to you just like you are talking to me.”
5:05 Voice 2: “Are you going to tell me who this is now?”
5:07 Sol: “I said it’s Sol.”
5:09 Voice 2 hangs up the phone.