Fava Beans

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Fava Beans

Characters:

Summary

Transcript:

0:00 Phone rings..

0:03 Voice 1: “Can I help you?”

0:04 Voice 2: “Yeah, is it the restaurant?”

0:06 Voice 1: “Yes, it is.”

0:06 Voice 2: “Yeah, I was there a little while ago with my wife…”

0:09 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

0:09 Voice 2: “…and we ate some of them Fava beans.”

0:11 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:12 Voice 2: “They got me fuckin’ awful sick there Charlie.”

0:15 Voice 1: “Who… what Fava beans?”

0:17 Voice 2: “You made me some Fava beans there with the, the little whacky… the bread that you got there.  You got me sick as a dog.”

0:23 Voice 1: “Well, what are you… where are you… where were you sitting sir?”

0:26 Voice 2: “What?’

0:27 Voice 1: “Where were you sitting?”

0:28 Voice 2: “I was sitting out there by the front there.  You know I got really sick from that shit.  I ought to split your nuts from your head to the back of your [Inaudible 00:34].”

0:35 Voice 1: “No, no, no, no, no… nothing happened.   Nobody order Fava bean.  I didn’t serve Fava bean.”

0:38 Voice 2: “I got Fava beans.  They got them all over coming out my ears backwards now.  I’m sick like a fuckin’ animal over here.

0:43 Voice 1: “Fava bean and what?”

0:44 Voice 2: “You got my wife fuckin’, layin’ in a fuckin’ bowl of piss over here, fuckin’, pukin’ up shit.”

0:49 Voice 1: “Whoa! Whoa!  Why you lying?  What are you talking about, so what it…?”

0:51 Voice 2: “Look, you jerky little ass.  I ought to split your nuts off the side of your face.”

0:56 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:56], what did you order?  What did your order?”

0:57 Voice 2: “I told ya I ordered those Fava beans over there.  You got them things fuckin’ stinkin’ up the house now.”

1:02 Voice 1: “Just Fava beans?”

1:03 Voice 2: “Yeah, the Fava beans with all that silly little juice on there, you fuckin’ whacky ass.”

1:07 Voice 1: “I didn’t.  I didn’t… well, I didn’t serve any Fava beans there.  I’m…”

1:10 Voice 2: “Alright.  You’re angry with me now.  Maybe I ought to come down there and fuckin’ make you eat…

1:13 Voice 1: “Excuse me.”

1:13 Voice 2: …eat your fucking’ shoe.”

1:14 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 01:14]… excuse me.  I didn’t serve any Fava bean today.  Just tell me where you were sitting.”

1:18 Voice 2: “I… I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’m gonna come down and I’m gonna stuff your shoes.  Look, you [Inaudible 01:21] restaurant.

1:22 Voice 1: “Yes.”

1:23 Voice 2: “I’ll come down and make you eat your fuckin’ shoes.”

1:24 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 01:24].”

1:25 Voice 2: “I’m sick like a fuckin’ idiot over here.”

1:27 Voice 1: “No… nothing happened.”  

1:28 Voice 2: “Aah!”

1:29 Voice 1: “The Fava bean is good.  Everything is good.  Nobody…”

1:30 Voice 2: “Oh, alright there.  Let’s see how good it is.  I’ll see you [Inaudible 01:33] Charlie.”