Gay Hairdresser

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Gay Hairdresser

Characters:

Summary

Transcript:

0:01 Phone rings…

0:02 Voice 1: “Can I help you?”

0:03 Voice 2: “Yes. I am calling about the job.”

0:04 Voice 1: “Ah, yes. Are you currently working downtown?”

0:05 Voice 2: “Yes. I will – well, actually, I was cutting hair uptown. And now, I want to get there because I see what you say about the Wall Street thing there?”

0:14 Voice 1: “Right.”

0:15 Voice 2: “I could probably bring a lot of clientele.”

0:18 Voice 1: “OK.”

0:19 Voice 2: “Yeah.”

0:20 Voice 1: “Uhm. We’re interviewing all next week.”

0:23 Voice 2: “OK. Great. Listen. What about styles? What kind of styles are you looking for?”

0:29 Voice 1: “We do – well, we do everything.”

0:31 Voice 2: “Right. All right. Look. I am pretty far out there. I have done some whacky shit. I used to shoot people’s heads up with Novocain and carve grooves in their head. I mean, if that’s too far-fetched, you gotta let me know.”

0:42 Voice 1: “Well, first of all, we work on Wall Street. So the people here aren’t going to be that wild.”

0:47 Voice 2: “Right. Right. I did a lot of work in the village, man. I’m a fuckin’ – I’m crazy. I’m a nut job. One time I gave this guy a haircut, he didn’t like it. He kicked my fuckin’ ass all over.”

0:58 Voice 1: “If you wanna come in one day next week, I’d be glad to see you.

1:01 Voice 2: “Right. Right. As long as my appearance wouldn’t bother you. I’m carved from head to toe. I’m a lunatic. But I’ll come in and we’ll shoot this shit and you can see some of my work. OK?”

1:13 Voice 1: “No problem. If you wanna – do you wanna stop by Monday next week?”

1:16 Voice 2: “Whatever is fine. Listen I’ll bring my children down. I carved this shit on their heads, too. But it looks good. It looks good. You never heard of that before?”

1:24 Voice 1: “Excuse me?”

1:25 Voice 2: “Did you ever hear of that procedure?”

1:26 Voice 1: “Yes.”

1:27 Voice 2: “Is that something or what?”

1:30 Voice 1: “Ahh. I don’t think anyone down here would want that done. So don’t worry about it too much.”

1:33 Voice 2: “All right. Great. Well, I’ll come down and you could show me your shit. And maybe kick me around the office a little and we’ll throw ideas back and forth. OK?”

1:41 Voice 1: “Great. Do you want my address?”

1:42 Voice 2: “Yes, please.”

1:44 Voice 1: “All right. We’re at the Trade Center.”

1:46 Voice 2: “Oh. Holy shit. All right. OK. I’ll see you then. I’ll see you what? Wednesday? Next week?”

1:54 Voice 1: “Wednesday is fine.”

1:55 Voice 2: “OK. All right. I’m so happy. Bye-bye now.”

1:58 Voice 1: “All right. See you then.”

1:59 Voice 2: “Bye.”